My Heart Yearns
by AnimeXisXmyXstyle
Summary: "Because you love me," he accused me. I sighed. "I do." He pulled off his mask and planted a kiss on my lips. "I love you, too—even if you are a worry wart." I groaned as he kissed me again. See what I have to put up with?  Complete
1. Date

I fixed up the story a bit. I'm not sure how to fix it grammatically yet, but at least that annoying bold is gone.

Disclamer: I own no one in this story but Hana.

* * *

_**My Heart Yearns**_

Summer. It's the time when children play happily outside. When birds sing content in the trees. When flowers shine with the sun. It's my favorite season. Some might ask me why. Some might disagee with me, but I know, it's my favorite season. And always will be. Alot happened to me in this season. To much for some to take in, but, every moment felt like seconds. Every time I saw him butterflys would dance in my stumach. Call me crazy. Call me names... do as you wish, but I can happily tell you. I liked him. Alot.

_"Hey," Said the boy. The boy I had come to like so much. Come to day dream about._

_"Hi," I responded. He smirked a goofy smirk. Which was somewhat hidden, but I saw it._

_"What?" I asked quietly. The smirk didn't waver at all._

_"I just found out today that you're a girl," He said, the smirk stuck to his face. I fumed, he was always harsh to me. How come he couldn't be nice? Couldn't stop picking on me... atleast._

_"I've always been a girl you idiot!" I yelled at him. He chuckled at my anger._

_"Hana-chan, you're so inmature," He said. I glared at him._

_"You're the one that needs help," I responded annoyed. He chuckled again._

_"You're the one that everyone thinks is a boy," He responded. Did they really? Was I that boyish?_

_"Enough you two," Our sensei said. We both looded at him._

_"Hana, please practice the jutsu again," He said. I nodded and did the hand signs. It came out right... mostly. He was laughing his head off. I went over to him, my face right in his._

_"I hate you!" I yelled at him. He chuckled._

_"Good, because I hate you too," He responded cooly. I stared into his eyes. Not showing how much it hurt me when he said that. Class was dismissed shortly after and I went straight home. Like I always did. I lived with my aunt. She had been raising me for a couple years now. My uncle also. Exept we didn't see to much of him._

_"Welcome home Hana," My aunt said._

_"Thanks," I responded before going up to my room. After getting to my room, and shutting the door, I broke down and cryed. I cryed as my back was against the door and it slowly slid down. Till I was sitting on the floor. I pulled my knees in and put my arms around them. My head crying into them. I fell asleep like that._

_The next day no one saw me at training. Nor the day after that. The third day of me not going to training Minato-sensei came to my house._

_"May I speak with Hana please?" He asked my uncle. He stared at him._

_"You're her sensei, right?" He asked. He nodded._

_"She's up in her room. She won't let anyone in," He replied. He nodded then followed my uncle up the stairs and stood outside of my bedroom door._

_"Hana, may I come in?" He asked politely._

_"No," I responded._

_"Please," He asked. My uncle shrugged and went back down the stairs._

_"No. I don't want to be a ninja anymore," I responded. He stood there, shocked._

_"Never? Are you sure? What made you come to that dissision?" He asked._

_"I'm sure. And I'm not ment to be one. I never was, I was just kidding myself all along," I resonded. The tears falling down my face. Luckily no one could see me like this._

_"Is it because of what Kakashi said?" He asked. The tears were now coming down faster than before. It wasn't because of him... I think..._

_"No," I chocked out._

_"Hana, your an exelent ninja, no matter what he says-" I cut him off though._

_"It has nothing to do with that," I responded. He sighed._

_"Training will be at the normal time... if you decide to come. Just remember, it's your choice, not anyone elses," He said._

_"I know. This is my choice," I said. Then heard him go down the stairs. I hated just about everything that very second... and everyone._

* * *

That was fourteen years ago. His cold voice still lingers in my head. The way he said those words to me. The way they hurt me so badly... the way he didn't even know how much they hurt me... or even care if they did.

"Morning Hana," The lady replied. It had been thirteen years since those things happened. Like I said, alot had happened during the season. All leading me to quit trying to be a ninja. There was so many reasons for me to quit. There was two main reasons though. One was because Kakashi said he hated me. Even though I liked him so much. He hated me. The second, was because my aunt had died. It was a disease, that neither my uncle nor I knew she had. It was untreatable.

My uncle tried to chear me up... by saying how she died happy and content... but... we all know she didn't. She lost someone the day my parents died. She lost her own child. The day of the fire. I know she would've rathered her child lived than me. Her daughter was two years older than me. She had beautiful blond hair and green eyes to match. She was plain beautiful. And her mother loved her to death.

She wouldn't say it though... that she rathered her child lived. She said that she was so lucky that she had me. But we all knew I was just a replacement. That didn't matter to me though. She was all I had after my mother died. We some how completed eachother. Not completely, but enough to live through life. As long as we had eachother, we'd be okay.

Well, we all see where that left me. Not okay. Misserable. Her child however didn't die in the fire. She died the same day, on a mission. A ninja mission. She had graduated from the academy early for her age. Then got up to Chunin with no problem. My aunt always told me how she didn't want me to be a ninja. She said she wouldn't know what to do if I died too.

My aunt died. She died. After that, I locked myself in my room. I wasn't okay. Not close. I made my choice, to not be a ninja. I didn't have talent. I would never get far, couldn't protect myself. Come to think of it... Kakashi's the one who always had to save me from dieing. So, given all the reasons... I quit. To start a new... happier life? No, it wasn't happier... it was just... different. Quieter, peaceful, kinder. Yeah, it was different, in a good way? I'm not sure.

I still lived in Konoha though. I hadn't see any of my team though. That was probably a good thing. I would probably have a break down if I saw one of them. Although, everyone knew my sensei had died. I missed him. Although I wouldn't say anything. His goof grin. His blond hair. I hadn't loved him, no, no way. He was like... an older brother? Is that the right way to describe it? Maybe. He was like a older brother, a mature older brother. Who always knew how to chear me up. Well... that didn't help my depression at all.

Right now I was working in a flower shop. I loved flowers. It was also summer.

"Morning Hana," A blond girl said to me. I smiled at her.

"Morning Ino," I said making a banquet of flowers.

"How was your weekend? Do anything fun?" She asked as she made on beside me.

"Nope, it was like every other," I responded. She nodded.

"How about you?" I asked her.

"Oh, I think Sasuke-kun likes me!" She squeled. I laughed. She had this fangirl like crush on him... well, maybe it really was just a fangirl thing. But... I guess I could've been Kakashi's fangirl... right?

No, I couldn't have. I was to shy to tell my feeling to him. Didn't follow him around, and my face always tried to turn red when we were sparing and we got close.

"Morning," Ino said chipper to a man that came into the shop. I finished the banquet and tied a violet string around the bottom. Smiling at my work. It was beautiful. Then I took the banquet over to a large vace and put it in. I stood back some ways away. Should I take it to my uncle? Would he like it? It's pretty... I'll bring it to him. I finally decided. I stepped forward and grabbed for the flowers when my hand brushed somone elses. I quickly retracted it and blushed. Then I looked at who had just reached for the same flowers.

I stared, mouth slightly open, eyes wide. I stared into one deep onyx eye. The one eye stared into my own dark blue ones. I stepped back to keep my balance. But I still stood there, just staring at him. Him doing the same... just staring at me. Ino walked by and looked at us. Back and forth. Then she squeked. Then went into the back of the store.

"K-k-kakashi?" I asked, finally getting ahold of myself. He stared at me, a questioning look on his face.

"Who're you?" He asked. I sighed. Good, he hadn't noticed me. That's what I kept telling me. But really, I was crying inside. He didn't even remember me.

"Oh, I uh... work here... would you like to buy that banquet? It'll be fifteen dollars," I said picking it up and taking it to the register. He followed me there.

"How do you know my name?" He asked. I gulped down. Trying to clear my throat.

"Who doesn't know your name? You're the famous... er, Kakashi Hatake!" I said in fake happiness. I think he buyed it though.

"Oh, yes, I am," He said paying for the flowers. I put on a fake smile as he picked up the flowers ready to leave. He turned but stopped halfway. Then turned back to me. I quietly gasped.

"Would you like to get some ramen with me? After your shift of course," He said. I shook my head.

"Uhm, I'm sorry, my shift goes really late and..." I drifted off. He just stood there, and slightly nodded his head.

"Your shift gets off at six! And anyways, you have to go with him Hin-" But I cut her off.

"Alright! I'll go, when will you pick me up?" I asked.

"Six," He said. I nodded then he left. I turned to Ino.

"What?" She asked.

"No matter what... don't tell him my name," I said sternly. She shot me a questioning glance but I ignored her.

"Great... I've got a date with the guy I used to have a huge crush on. He doesn't recognize me. He doesn't understand me and has no idea why I quit. He can not figure out who I am," I said quietly to the new batch of flowers in my hand.

* * *

He did as he promised. Well, almost... he came to pick me up at six thirty. How like Kakashi.

"Sorry I'm late a black crossed my path and so-"

"That crap doesn't work on me," I said quietly, yet loud enough to be heard.

"Alright then, to the ramen bar," He said. I followed him quietly. After working at the flowershop earlier, I changed into a light blue summer dress. It went a little shorter than my knees and had noodle straps.

"I like your dress," He said nicely. I scoffed under my breath. If only he knew who I am! He would be yelling at me.

"Thanks," I responded. And tormenting me. Well, I guess I do dress like a girl now. I hated how he always teased me about lookin like a guy. Just because I hadn't matured yet didn't mean anything! I was just late. But no! He had to yell at me about everything! And torment me to no end...

"Chicken ramen," He said.

"Miso ramen, PLEASE," I said to the man, he nodded and started cooking our food.

"So, tell me about yourself," He said. I bit my lower lip. Crap, I was nervous.

"Hey, I uh, just remembered I have something to do tonight! I'm so sorry, I have to g-" But he cut me off. The nerve of the guy!

"No, you don't. You're just making up excuses," He said. Crap, how come he always could read me so easily?

"Sorry..." I said putting my head down. He shrugged.

"So, what's your hobbie?" He asked. Well, hobbies couldn't be that bad. Before when Minato-sensei asked me it was annoying Kakashi and cooking with my aunt. Both I hadn't done in thirteen years.

"Anything to do with flowers," I responded putting the chopsticks into the bowl, "You?"

"I have many hobbies," He said calmly. I wanted to snap his kneck. We kept eating quietly untill he interupted the silence, one again.

"What's your favorite flower?" He asked. I thought for a moment. Smiling when I found my answer.

"A daisy," I said.

"Wasn't expecting that," He said. I looked over at him.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Most girl's say roses," He said. I sighed.

"I'm not like most girls..." I said. He chuckled.

"Yeah, I figured that out," He responded.

"Daisies, they are so beautiful. Yet, they are so delacit and need just the right amount of sunshine and water," I paused, "And they are wild. Living where there seeds take them," He looked at me after I said that. I cleared my throat. I just lost myself in my own dream world again. Crap, gotta stop doing that.

"hmm," He said simply getting back to his ramen.

"What's your name?" He asked. I gulped. Then stood up from my chair.

"Y'know I really have to be getting home and-" I started to walk away but he pulled on my arm and brought me close to him. My head into his shoulder. Then he put his arms around me.

"Just tell me a name. Any name, just something I can call you," He said.

"Uindo," I replied after a pause, "like the wind" He smiled at my response. Aleast I think so. It's so dang hard to tell with that stupid mask on. I want to rip the thing off and smack him hard in the face. But I restrained myself from doing so.

"You already know my name," He said and paused,"but, I'll tell you something else... my favorite food is sesame chicken" I wanted to rip him into pieces. I already knew that! I know just about everything! I could name three awful habits of his off the top of my head! I could name his favorite things off the top of my head! In order of how much he liked them! I wanted to scream that. Tell him who I was. But when I thought about it. I didn't... I wanted to get to know him. Not the thirteen year old him, but the... twenty six year old him.

Wow, we must be old. Wait, I'm not old, I'm not even thirty yet!

"Thank you," I chocked out.

"Can I walk you home?" He asked.

"Sure..." I drifted off. Then it hit me. He would recognize my house! Crap! Crap crap crap crap! Mega Crap!

"I mean, uhm I'm not sure that'd be a good idea..." I said.

"Well, then give me a number to reach you by," He said.

"It's uh..." I started, I can't tell him my number either. That'd be way to obvious! Crap!

"Here, I'll give you the number to the flower shop. I'm almost there anyways," I said writing it down on a piece of paper. He shrugged. He most likely knew I was hiding something. Oh well, I mean, I'm trying my best here!

"Alright," He said taking it. Then he waved to me. I quickly ran off toward my house. When I got in I slammed the door behind you and locked it. Then let my back slide down the door so I was in a sitting position. Pulled my knees so my chest and put my head into them.

"Kakashi, how come you always make me cry?" I asked into the dark room. Expecting no response and getting no response I just cryed. I wanted so badly to tell him the truth... but I don't want to be hurt... again.


	2. Naruto

**My Heart Yearns**

Chapter Two

"Morning Hana," Ino said as I walked through the door.

"Morning Ino," I replied. I went up to the counter and put my coat down.

"A man called for you earlier," she responded.

"Huh? Who?" I questioned.

"Kakashi-sensei," she responded.

"Oh," I said looking at the paper she gave me.

"The hokage also called you," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Yeah, she wants to speak with you," Ino replied.

"Okay, well, all after work," I said pulling my hair up into a lazy bun. I stood there putting flower banquets together as my mind traveled. Crap, he called again. I feel so uncomfortable when I'm around him. And the hokage wants to see me? Why me? I didn't do anything. I'm a average person that works at an average flowershop. My shift only went to four today and I walked to the hokage tower.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked as I went into the hokage's office.

"Yes, I did. I was just looking at old ninja's forms," she said and I bit my lip, "It seams that you were a ninja at one point."

"I was," I responded.

"At age fifteen you were a part of an anbu team," she replied.

"It was just because of my teammates. I wasn't fit to be in the team," I said. She was quiet for a bit looking through some more forms.

"You were on Minato Uzumaki's team," she finally said.

"Yes," I replied.

"I have a request for you," she said.

"And what is that?" I asked.

"I want you to take care of a friend of mine. He needs a ... motherly figure," she responded.

"I'd be glad to help," I replied.

"Good! He has room in his apartment for you," she said as she handed my a paper with information on it and the address.

"Hokage-sama," I said bowing before I left. Then I looked at the paper. Well, guess my life's about to get more intresting. Well, I am twenty-nine, old enough to be a mother. I still have my job at the flowershop. I wonder how old he is and what his apartement looks like. I walked over to the flowershop and Ino was behind the counter.

"Hey Ino," I said walking up to her.

"Hi Hana," she replied.

"I was wondering if you could help me move some stuff," I asked.

"Move some stuff? You're moving?" she asked.

"Only temporarily," I responded.

"Oh, sure. Mom! I'm going to help Hana with some stuff!" she called before taking her hair out of the bun. Then we headed to my house.

"You sure have alot of clothes," Ino said as she looked through my closet.

"If you like anything feel free to keep it," I responded as I put things into bags.

"So I can have this purple shirt?" she asked.

"Sure," I replied.

"Are you sure?" she asked. I turned toward her.

"Yes. It'd look great on you! Try it on," I said going back to folding clothes.

"So are you and Kakashi-sensei dating?" she asked.

"What?" I questioned.

"Well you did go on a date, and you gave him your number," Ino said.

"I guess," I responded shruging.

"Yay! I have to warn you though he's a big pervert!" Ino yelled. I dropped the dress in my hand.

"What!?" I asked and she nodded.

"He's always reading the Icha Icha series," Ino said. I didn't respond.

"How do I look?" she asked and I turned around.

"It looks good on you," I replied.

"Thanks! Wait till Sasuke-kun sees me in this!" she said happily and I chuckled.

"So he hasn't asked you out yet?" I asked.

"No, but I'm never going to give up on him, he and I are meant to be!" she said holding her hands on her heart with a dreamy look on her face.

"That's good to know," I responded.

"Can you grab my shampoo and conditioner from the bathroom?" I asked and she nodded.

* * *

"I guess this is the place," I said looking at the address. I sighed before unlocking the apartment and looking inside. It looked like a tornado blew through it.

"It smells like rotten ramen," I mumbled holding my nose. I put my bags down and searched through the place. The kitchen and living room were attached and there was a bathroom to the left. On the right there was two doors that both led to small bedrooms. I put my stuff into the one that had a thick layer of dust on everything.

"Ew," I said after triping on a empty bowl. I hate places that are dirty. So for the rest of the day I put on a simple kimono and started cleaning the house. When I was scrubbing the floor the front door opened.

"I'll see you tomorrow Sakura-chan!" a blond boy called still looking out the door. I was still sitting with my legs underneath me, on the floor, with my black hair up and a scruby in my hand. The blond turned and I thought I'd cry. He looked exactly like Minato-sensei.

"Oi, why are you in my apartment...cleaning?" he asked.

"I uh, the place was a disaster," I replied.

"Are you like a maid?" he asked his eye brows knotted in confusion.

"No! The hokage asked me to stay here," I responded.

"Oh, that's weird," he said scratching the back of his kneck. I stood up and put my hand out.

"My name's Hana," I said. He shook my hand.

"Naruto Uzumaki," he replied.

"It's nice to meet you. Do you like ramen?" I asked. While cleaning I noticed tons and tons of piled dishes that used to have ramen in them. Also the rotten smell of ramen. Not anymore, all you could smell was the cleaner I had on the floors.

"I love ramen!" he said. I laughed.

"Okay Naruto, want to get some ramen with me? I haven't eaten yet," I responded.

"Yes!" he said happily and I chuckled.

"Just give me a minute to change," I said and went to myroom. I changed into light blue dress. It went to my knees and had tank top straps.

"Ready!" I said and we headed to the ramen stand. When we went there it seemed Naruto recognized someone.

"Hi Sasuke!" he said sitting next to a raven haired boy. I took a seat next to Naruto.

"Chicken ramen please," I requested.

"Why are you?" Naruto asked his friend.

"Food, baka," Sasuke replied.

"Hey old man, miso ramen please!" he said.

"I'm not a baka Sasuke-teme!" he added.

"Pth, idiot," Sasuke replied. I sighed.

"You two sound like great friends," I budded in suddenly. Sasuke looked at me for a minute, he didn't even blink. Creepy.

"I'm Hana," I said with a smile.

"Uchiha, Sasuke," he replied pulling out of his daze like look.

"Here's your ramen," the man said handing us our bowls.

"Thank you!" I said pulling out my chopsticks. Naruto was already half way done.

"I finally found you Sasuke-kun!" a pink haired girl screamed. I chuckled as I saw Sasuke cringe.

"I've been looking all over for you," she said sitting next to him.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto said finally putting down his bowl of ramen.

"Oh, Naruto," she replied before going back to pestering Sasuke. I decided to step in.

"Sakura, I'd hate to break you two apart, but Sasuke promised to help me unpack my stuff," I said sitting up.

"Wha-" I put a hand over Naruto's mouth.

"Sorry," I told her.

"I guess I'll see you at training Sasuke-kun," she said still sitting as I pulled Naruto out of the ramen bar and Sasuke followed.

"But I didn't have enough ramen yet!" Naruto complained dragging his feet.

"You shouldn't eat too much it'll mess up your digestion," I responded.

"You're welcome," I said to Sasuke.

"Che, I didn't ask for your help," he replied.

"Either way you're going to need to help me finish cleaning," I said grabbing his arm, Naruto's still in my other hand, and raced toward the apartment.

* * *

"This is Naruto-teme's place," Sasuke said as I fumbled with the lock.  
"I'm staying with him for a while," I said when it finally worked. I walked in and the two boys followed.  
"Home sweet home!" Naruto said plopping onto the couch.  
"Sorry to cut your guy's dinner. I can't cook here either because almost everything in the fridge is expired. I can do some shopping tomorrow," I said going into the living room.  
"I need to be heading home," Sasuke said standing up and heading for the door.  
"Don't forget I owe you a dinner tomorrow night!" I said before he shut the door.  
"He seams... nice," I said to Naruto, who had a old bag of chips in one hand while  
watching the television.  
"He acts cold but that's just because he doesn't have a family," Naruto replied.  
"What about you? You don't," I responded.  
"He just is that way," he said.  
"Oh," I replied.  
"Ow, that hurts!" Naruto wined as I put ointment on his wounds. I heard from him  
that he fought Sasuke and it was a really good fight. Although it ended up with  
two blood covered boys standing at my door.  
"Stop yelling dobe," Sasuke replied.  
"Guys, stop fighting..." I said trying to think of something to add. "You fight like a  
married couple!"  
"What!" they yelled in unison. I giggled.  
"Ow!" Naruto yelled as I put the bandages on. At the moment Sasuke was sitting on a chair as I bandaged Naruto up on a kitchen chair. Sasuke had his chin rested  
on his hands as they were folded together. Naruto was wiggling all over as I tried  
to bandage him.  
"Done," I responded. Naruto rubbed the arm I bandaged.  
"It hurts more than before...I need ramen," he said and I laughed.  
"Alright Sasuke show me your shoulder." I said.  
"I'm fine." he responded coldly.  
"You'll die from loss of blood if I don't." I replied.  
"I told you, I'm fine." he said. I went over to him and grabbed his arm. He pulled away and I grabbed his arm again, pulled his shirt down, and put the ointment on  
it within ten seconds. He stared at me along with Naruto.  
"How did you do that?" Naruto finally spoke up.  
"It was nothing," I replied putting bandages on Sasuke's shoulder.  
"That wasn't nothing, you moved so fast I couldn't see you move!" Naruto said.  
"Really it was nothing," I said again. Both boys stared at me, obviously ignoring my protest.  
"There you're all bandaged up," I said finishing the wrap on Sasuke's shoulder and putting it away.  
"Oi, are you going to make dinner?" Naruto asked from the kitchen.  
"Of course! I promised didn't I?" I asked.  
"Yeah!" Naruto said. I went back to the kitchen and started cooking the meal.  
"There you go," I said plopping plates in front of Naruto and Sasuke.  
"Yum!" Naruto said before eating the food like there was tomorrow. Sasuke just ate normally. I grabbed my chopsticks and dug in myself.

* * *

**"So are you going to train tomorrow even with your shoulder?" I asked Sasuke.  
**

**"Hn," he replied.  
**

**"Don't hn me, I'm your elder you're supposed to respect me!" I said pretending to pout.  
**

**"Sasuke! You hurt Hana's feelings!" Naruto accused.  
**

**"I don't care," Sasuke responded.  
**

**"You should care," I said back.  
**

**"I cooked this meal and wrapped your wound," I added.  
**

**"Hn."  
**

**"Da** it!"  
**

**"Sasuke, stop hurting Hana's feelings!"  
**

**"I didn't hurt her feelings."  
**

**"Yes you did!"  
**

**"Sasuke apologize!"  
**

**"No!"  
**

**"Now!"  
**

**"I feel so hurt."  
**

**"Shut up."  
**

**"Apologize!"  
**

**"You can't make me."  
**

**"Want a bet?"  
**

**"Guys, settle down, we don't need the house destroyed."  
**

**"I'll fight you right here right now Sasuke idiot!"  
**

**"Bring it idiot!"  
**

**"Uhm guys?" They didn't here me. There was a knock on the door. I sighed going over to the door.  
**

** "Hi!" Ino said as she let herself in. "I heard you moved in with Naruto."  
**

** "Yeah, him and Sasuke ar-"  
**

**"Sasuke!" she squealed and ran over to him. I sighed then looked over to them. Sasuke and Naruto were already standing up and glaring at each other. Ino ran in and tried to hug Sasuke, but Sasuke kept pushing her off.  
**

**"Sasuke! I love you so much! I missed you!" Ino screamed. I sighed, she definitely had a fan girl crush.  
**

**"Would you like something to eat Ino? We were just having dinner," I said.  
**

**"Sure, I'd love some," she answered. I pulled down a plate and put some of the food on it. Then I gave it to her and she sat down next to Sasuke.  
**

**"Let's eat," I said glaring at Sasuke and Naruto who slowly sat back down in their chairs.  
**

**"Hana, how do you know Ino?" Naruto questioned.  
**

**"I work at the flower shop with her," I answered.  
**

**"Sasuke, what is your favorite kind of flower?" Ino asked...Sasuke ignored her.  
**

**"Getting flowers is something a guy usually gets for a girl," I said to Ino.  
**

**"So?" she questioned.  
**

**"I remember Kaka... well an old crush, he liked fire lily's," I said almost spilling about Kakashi.  
**

**"Kaka? That's a weird name," Naruto said. Sasuke was eying me suspiciously.  
**

**"Do you like fire lily's Sasuke?" Ino asked still latched to his arm.  
**

**"No," he replied putting another bite into his mouth.  
**

**"Some guys like black roses too," I said.  
**

**"Black roses? Do you like black roses Sasuke?" Ino asked. I sighed shaking my head. Then there was another knock on the door.**

**

* * *

  
**


	3. Broken Door

**My Heart Yearns**

Chapter Three

Hello?" I asked as I opened it. A pink haired girl stood there, her green eyes looking at me in curiosity.

"Is Naruto there?" she asked. I chuckled.

"Naruto! You're girlfriend is here!" I heard a chair move and running.

"Sakura?" Naruto asked as he was right beside me.

"I'll let you to reminisce while I eat my dinner," I said before heading back to the table.

"Get off," Sasuke said harshly to the blond still clinging on to him.

"Sasuke-KUN!" she squealed. I sat down finishing my food.

"Sasuke-KUN!" I heard and saw a blur of pink grab Sasuke's other arm. I raised an eye brow in amusement and annoyance.

"Get off," Sasuke said darker. He had a girl on each arm. It was quite hilarious.

"Aw, Sasuke, stop hogging the girls!" Naruto pouted.

"Shut up, Naruto idiot," Sasuke responded.

"No name calling," I said and both boys looked at me.

"Why not?" Naruto asked.

"You can't tell me what to do," Sasuke replied. I smirked at the both of them.

"You put down the other or curse around me and I will put soap and water in your mouth until it's sparkly clean. You got that?" I asked. They both just stared at me, though Sasuke's turned into a glare.

"Yes ma'am," Naruto quickly responded after recovering.

"Sasuke?" I said darkly.

"Yes 'ma'am' " he said sarcastically.

"I can get the soap now," I said before sitting down again and eating.

"Hana, you're really scary when you're like that," Ino said. I laughed.

"Call it different personalities if you please," I said shrugging. Yes, I guess I do have different personalities. The mother, the girly side, the depressed side, the adult side, and the silly side. Then there was the drunk side but I won't even go there. No, that was really bad. Remind me never ever to get drunk. Especially when men are around...even more especially if they are good looking. Then I'm done for.

"Hana?" someone asked and I brought my head out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"It's late, I have to go home," Ino said.

"Me too," Sakura added.

"Okay, see you later!" I said as they left through the door.

"Movies anyone?" I asked turning around. Sasuke and Naruto were still sitting at the table glaring at each other. At the sound of my words they turned toward me.

"I like movies," Naruto said.

"No duh..." Sasuke cut himself off. I smirked in victory, someone has to teach these boys some manners.

"Alright, which movie?" That was going to be the hard part. The movie was uneventful besides the fact that Sasuke and Naruto couldn't agree on a movie. I just sat on the couch while they fought. By the time they picked out a movie it was an hour later. So we all fell asleep during the movie, kind of awkwardly too. I fell asleep in the middle curled up into a ball. Naruto fell asleep with his feet on me and Sasuke fell asleep with the foot rest up.

"Morning," I mumbled as I sat up, noticing our odd positions I chuckled. Naruto was in a deep sleep and Sasuke was already awake although he was feigning sleep.

"Morning Sasuke," I said louder this time. He opened his eyes and they were a blazing red, the black dot looking things inside span once. That's right he did say 'Uchiha, Sasuke'.

"Just like Kakash..." I cut myself off. He sat up and looked straight at me.

"You keep hiding something. You've gone from Kaka to Kakash, so I'm assuming you know Kakashi Hatake," He said and my eyes widened. Darn.

"Well, yeah," I replied sitting up further also. Naruto didn't even notice his feet hitting the couch. Sasuke still stared at me unconvinced.

"Well, he and I we were teammates..." I said and his eyes widened.

"He never talked about a Hana on his team," he replied.

"Yeah, I left when I was fifteen," I answered. He still stared at me curiously.

"You can't tell Kakashi it's me!" I blurted out and he raised an eye brow.

"Please, Sasuke, don't tell him who I am. If he finds out...he'll never forgive me," I said and he sighed.

"I won't tell him, it's your problem not mine," he replied simply getting up and heading for the bathroom.

"Thanks Sasuke, you know you're not that bad of a guy," I said and he turned around to glare at me.

"Don't push it," he said before going into the bathroom.

"Hey mister, just remember I'm the older one!" I yelled as he shut the bathroom door. Then I brought my attention down to the sleeping Naruto. Man that kid can sleep through everything.

"I know you heard me!" I yelled louder. Naruto didn't even stir. Darn him. I looked back at the door then at Naruto, and an evil smirk found it's way onto my face. I looked down at Naruto again.

"Sasuke ate all of the ramen!" I yelled louder than both previous times.

"What?!" he yelled jerking upward. I tried to stop the chuckling but Naruto was too darn cute. His eyes were only half open and his hair was a disaster.

"He at it all?" he said as he started to tear up. Man this kid likes his ramen.

"All of it!" I said and he stood up with a determined look on his face. He marched to the bathroom and pounded on the door.

"Sasuke! I know you're in there! You owe me ramen!" he yelled. Sasuke didn't respond so Naruto, being ramen deprived, smashed down the door. Darn, I'll have to fix that later. Nah, I'll just make them do it.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled. Then there was mixed yelling.

"I'm showering idiot!"

"Ew! Didn't need to see that!"

"Hahah, you guys are so gay!" I added in through laughing fits.

"Ah! Get away!

"Get out Naruto idiot!"

"You get out!"

"I'm butt naked!"

"Like I give a sh**! There's no girls..." Naruto paused looking back at me who had collapsed onto the couch. With that Sasuke pushed him out of the bathroom and put the broken door up where it would have been if it had not been broken.

"Idiot!" Naruto said picking himself up and walking over to me. I slowly stopped laughing. He stared at me, probably trying to put the pieces together, and I stared back. Then as if a light bulb went off he raised an accusing finger.

"You-"

"You both called each other names...so tell me...where's the soap?" I said a smirk on my face and he glared back.

"That's not fair!" he yelled in defeat.

"Either you fix the door or I'll get the soap," I said and he sighed.

"I'll fix the door...." he mumbled.  
I guess you can call me very mischievous, but I never fully grew up. Ice cream and candy are still my main food group, they dominate with the sugary goodness. Come to the think of it...Kakashi used to like strawberry ice cream...I wonder if he still does. What am I talking about? I don't care.

"We're going to be late for training!" Naruto complained as him and Sasuke were trying to fix the smashed door.

"It's not like he'll be on time...." Sasuke mumbled.

"Oh, shut up," Naruto said back.

"Idiot," Sasuke mumbled.

"Did I hear someone call another a name?" I asked and they both kept quiet.

"And who is this sensei of yours?" I asked.

"He's a real pervert! And he reads perverted books all the time! He is always late too," Naruto said. There was a knock on the door. Wow, that's been happening a lot lately.

"Ow!" he yelled. Sasuke had let go of the door causing it to pinch Naruto's fingers.

"Idio..." he cut himself off. I slowly opened the door but not enough to see the person nor let the person see me. I turned toward the boys.

"I didn't say anything!" Naruto pleaded.

"Well, you tell your sensei to get his damn head out of those perverted books! And to actually arrive on time! If my sensei did that I'd I'd...." I stopped talking as I noticed the person in the door way. His arms were crossed around his jounin vest and his gravity defying hair was as gray as ever.

"You'd what?" he asked.

"Why are you here?" I asked at a loss of words.

"My two students didn't show up to practice on time," he replied.

"Ne? They're your students?" I asked.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said. Sasuke was standing next to him with boredom written on his face.

* * *

"Well, you can have your students back after they finish fixing the door," I said.

"They won't be able to practice their techniques," Kakashi countered.

"They won't be able to go to the bathroom in private without a door," I countered.

"They have a mission tomorrow and they need to practice,"

"I'm sure fixing a door will help them with that. Now if you'd please leave," I said before trying to shut the door, which failed because Kakashi stopped it with his foot.

"Why do you want me to leave so badly?" he asked.

"Because I do," I replied. Sasuke and Naruto just stood behind me, probably enjoying this.

"May I come in?" he asked.

"No-"

"Yes," Naruto said opening the door more. I glared at Naruto who knew he was going to pay for it later. Kakashi came in and looked at the broken door.

"And don't you dare-"

"Wooden forest technique," Kakashi said doing hand signs. Darn him! The door started repairing itself.

"Now we can go train," he said.

"We? All you'll be doing is reading your perverted books," I said back. He turned around and faced me.

"Would you rather teach them in my place?" Kakashi asked.

"No," I responded. If I did he would notice my fighting pattern.

"You should come with us!" Naruto said enthusiastically.

"No, I have a lot of stuff I need to take care of," I responded.

"Well then, I'll talk to you later than, Uindo." Both boys faces showed confusion.

"You too Kashi!" I said quickly making up a nickname. Kakashi waved and the boys said bye. Well, Naruto did, Sasuke just stood there with his hands in his pockets. When they were gone I sighed in relief.

**…**

_"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" A young dark haired girl yelled, tears falling down her face as she yelled. The two girls next to her stared at her like she was a misplaced thing._

_"Stop what?" The tall black haired girl asked._

_"Stop picking on me! I bet boys are nicer than you!" The two girls chuckled._

_"Really? Who?" The brown haired girl asked her, her hands on her hips. The dark haired girl's eye's flickered around her until they landed on a certain silver haired boy._

_"K-kakashi!" she said with a stutter._

_"Kakashi?" The two girls asked while following her gaze toward him._

_"Want a bet?" The black haired asked looking over at the crying girl._

_"Y-y...yes," the dark haired girl said determined._

_"Kakashi-kun!" The black haired called while waving her hands. As the girl expected the boy came right over._

_"Hey," he said._

_"Hi Kakashi," the black haired responded. "Don't you think she is so ugly?" she said pointing toward the dark haired girl. She grinned when she got her responce._

_"Who? Her?" the silver haired asked pointing to the crying girl. The black haired girl nodded. "Of course she is."_

_"K-k...k-k...kaka...shi...." The dark haired girl, after trying to speak to him, ran away in tears. She should have known better. Of course Kakashi would side with the other girl. Kakashi always liked her._

_…_

"Bitch," I said under my breath. I stood up from where I had been sitting - on the floor - and got myself a glass of water.

"And so, like always, the cute guys always like the cute girls," I mumbled under my breath. "No exceptions. Damn you, Kakashi."

"Idiot!"

"Watch it, retard."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Stop yelling in my ear." The door opened and my jaw dropped. Sasuke and Naruto were leaning onto each other for support. I shut my mouth and opened it to say something but was cut off.

"Not a word. I used up to much chakra," Sasuke said glaring at me. He and Naruto made their way to Naruto's room. When the door slammed I chuckled.

"Sorry I dumped them on you like that." I heard behind me and jumped. Gravity defying gray hair...damn.

"Oh, Kakashi, no problem," I said quickly.

"I called the number you gave me and left a message with Ino but you didn't call back." I raised an eye brow before I understood. I had forgotten to call him back.

"I'm so sorry! I completely forgot!"

"Don't worry about it, I was just wondering that since you're staying here, if I can call here for you?"

"Uh, sure."

"Great, so I'll call you soon?"

"Yep yep."

"Alright, then I'll talk to you then." he said as he was about to leave through the door. I was having a war in my head. He looked so cute! There was just one little thing that I wanted so badly...to do.

"Kakashi!" I yelled before he could shut the door. I ran up to him and simply kissed him. Sure it was on his mask but my stomach knotted. A small smile found it way onto my face.

"I'll talk to you then," he repeated before shutting the door. I grabbed the wall for support.

"Am I a cute girl? Or an exception?" I asked to myself.


	4. Kiss

My Heart Yearns

Chapter Four

"You like chocolates? I like the caramel kind."

"My favorite are the ones with the nuts in them." I'd been on the phone with Kakashi for the past two hours. I'd been cleaning the house and it was really nice to have someone to talk to.

"What about drinks? What's your favorite drink?" I asked as I swept the kitchen.

"I like Shirley temples," he responded.

"Me too! Those are my favorite drink ever." I grabbed the dust pan out of the closet.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked. I paused for a moment.

"Blue," I replied before dumping what was in the dust pan into the trash.

"I like the color green."

"Green's a good color."

"Yeah." I put the broom away and looked around the house. There was nothing left to clean.

"So any idea where Naruto and Sasuke are?" I asked him.

"Naruto and Sasuke?" he asked.

"Yeah, Sasuke's been hanging out here a lot."

"Oh, I don't know. They both were at training today," he responded.

"Yeah," I replied in thought.

"Are you worried about them?" he asked.

"No, I was just wondering."

"If you are I can go look for them for you," he said.

"Really, you would do that for me?" I asked in surprise.

"Of course I would," he said.

"Thank you, but really it's fine," I responded.

"Would you like me to come over?"

"Huh?" I questioned.

"Would you like some company?" he asked.

"No no, I'm fine," I said quickly.

"Really, it will be no problem at all," he said.

"Really, you don't have to," I said. Crap, talking over the phone and hanging out with him were two different things.

"It will be no problem. I will be there in a few moments." He hung up the phone and I sighed. I looked down at the clothes I was in. They were covered in dust, dirt from the floor, and other junk from cleaning. I quickly hit the shower and put my hair up after slightly drying it with the towel. Then I went to my room and changed into an orange shirt and a simple short white skirt. My black hair was still in the messy excuse of a bun that I put it in. I looked at my reflection and sighed.

"One day, Hana, you'll get a back bone," I said to my reflection. I jumped when the door bell rang and I quickly went to it. Kakashi was there as I expected.

"Come on in," I said stepping out of the way for him to come in.

"You look pretty today, Uindo," he said coming in.

"Thank you, Kakashi."

"I used to grow a garden with my Aunt and it would have many different plants," I said walking with Kakashi. We were walking down the street hand in hand.

"My father used to take me to the training grounds and train me till I was exhausted. Then we'd lay down on the grass and look up at the sky and share a good laugh," Kakashi said in deep thought.

"That must have been nice," I said and he raised an eye brow. "to be able to spend time with your dad."

"We couldn't do it very often, though. He always had a swamp load of missions to complete," Kakashi responded. I looked up in front of us, it was an ice cream stand.

"Would you like any ice cream?" he asked and I giggled.

"Sure," I replied and we went up to the ice cream stand.

"One strawberry and one..." Kakashi looked over at me. I inwardly giggled, Kakashi liked strawberry ice cream. Who knew?

"Chocolate," I said coming out of my thought. Kakashi was so different than what I thought he was like when he was a kid. I always thought of him not to have a soft side, but he sure had one alright.

"Here you go," he said handing me mine.

"Thank you," I said to him.

* * *

Maybe if he'd changed sooner. Maybe if all those things didn't happen, I thought as Kakashi was walking me home. I glanced over at him and blushed and turned away when I noticed that he was staring at me.

"Sorry," he apologized. I turned to him after he said that.

"May you...um..." I started but stopped. "never mind, it's stupid." I started walking again.

"Wait no," he said catching up and taking my hands in his. I stared down at our hands. "just say it...anything on your mind at all." I looked up at his face. I wish I could see his face. If he had a pleading expression or not I didn't know.  
"Will you...I mean you don't have to..." I paused still looking at him. "Say your sorry again?" I saw the little wrinkles in his mask, indicating that he was smiling.  
"I'm sorry." My heart tugged.  
"Again?" I asked.  
"I'm sorry." My heart got yanked from where it stood and I hugged him. He put his arms around me and I slowly rocked back and forth, my head resting on his shoulder.  
"Please, just this once, say you're sorry for everything that you ever did to hurt me?" I questioned feeling odd about it afterward. I could feel the warm tickle sensation when he spoke.  
"I'm sorry, for everything I ever did to hurt you," he whispered into my ear.  
"I think I'm falling in love with you..." I whispered, not noticing I said it out loud.  
"What was that?" he asked.  
"Oh, nothing, thank you." He was still smiling.  
"You're welcome." I had an arm around my stomach. I smiled and waved as he left away from the apartment. I slowly opened the door and closed my eyes as I leaned against the back of the door.  
"Kakashi, what am I going to do with you?" I asked myself.  
"He really likes you, you know." I jumped and my eyes flew open.  
"Sasuke, what are you doing here! Where's Naruto?" I questioned quickly. He rolled his eyes, still leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room.  
"He's out with Sakura some where, I managed to get away," he responded coolly. I breathed again at the sound of good news.  
"That's good," I replied happy to breath again.  
"He really does like you, though." I stared at him awkwardly before walking up to him.  
"Sasuke, life is always more difficult than it seems..." I said pausing. "Life finds a way to take a single frayed hem and make it into a tare...then even when you try to patch the tare it's just never is the same as the original fabric." His eyes hardened.  
"You have no idea," he said harshly before turning and leaving the room. I watched him as he left.  
"Sasuke, I might not know exactly what you feel, but I do know it hurts," I responded to him quietly, fully aware that he could hear me. "If ever you just need a shoulder, I'm here. No questions asked." It was completely silent for a few moments.  
"I don't and will never need a shoulder to cry on. That is for the weak, the strong do not need such stupid things." It was bitter and every word was dripping with venom at the tip. It dug into my fluttery heart.  
"Sometimes it's because the weak had a shoulder that they became strong," I replied before he slammed the front door. I leaned up against the wall with my chest to the wall. I let my hair down and cried there. My heart's a mess, I thought to myself.  
"A tare that will never be the same."

**

* * *

**I turned the light on. Boy, it's been a while. The whole house was covered in a layer of thick dust. I couldn't help but cough as I opened the closet. I've got some cleaning to do, I thought to myself. I started by opening all the windows. I was blinded by the light that came into the house. Then started the dusting. By noon the house was completely clean. I grabbed my wallet and headed into the village.

"A large turkey please," I said handing her the cash. She handed me the change and I went to the next shop. I grabbed a sack of potatoes, bread, and wine. Then when my shopping was finished I headed back to the house. Then I began the cooking. While the turkey was cooking in the oven I changed the table cloth and put a nice orange and brown one on. I set the table for three people and put the candles on the table.

I could almost see my aunt cooking the turkey while my uncle was trying to find the right place to put the silverware. I saw my younger self pulling up a chair to reach the counter.

_"Can I help?"_

_"Sure you can, deary."_

_"What can I do?"_

_"Can you set down the napkins on the table? You know Sabuto has trouble with it." I smiled at my auntie._

_"Of course I will!"_

_"I can do it," he mumbled._

_"The forks are on the wrong side."_

_"It works fine either way."_

I picked myself up off the ground and went back into the village. I went to the very same flower shop I had worked at just recently.

"Hey Ino, I came to get some flowers."

"For anyone special?" she asked smirking.

"No, well...yeah." She giggled.

"I hope you have a great dinner together," she said handing me the flowers.

"Thanks," I replied before turning. I walked to the front of the flower shop, but stopped right before running into a familiar jounin with his head down in his book. He lifted his head to look at me, his one visible eye looking at me.

"Oh hey, Uindo."

"Hi Kakashi." We just stood there for a moment before I could see the wrinkles in his mask.

"Are you doing anything special for thanksgiving?" he questioned.

"Oh, yeah, I'm having a meal with my aunt and uncle."

"Oh," he nodded trying to hide the disappointment.

"Sorry."

"Can you wait right there a minute? Don't move," he said before passing me. I did as I was told. "Close your eyes."

"They're closed." After a minute I felt someone grip my hand. He started walking and I followed suit. I had no idea where we were going, suddenly forgetting all my ninja senses. He stopped after a while

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready," I confirmed.

"Open your eyes." I did as I was told and opened them. We were in the middle of a open field. The long golden colored grass was blowing with the breeze. My attention was taken away from me when I saw the flowers in front of Kakashi's face. His mask in my hand along with his leaf head band. His sharingan eye was watching me as I tried not to stare.

"Can I...?" I said lifting my hands to the flowers. Kakashi didn't move, so I closed my eyes and spread the flowers apart. Then slowly brought my face closer to his.

"Can I...?" he replied and I slowly nodded my head. He brought his lips to mine and gently kissed me once. Then I stepped back and let the flowers go back in front of his face. When I opened my eyes again I realized what kind of flowers they were-- daisies.

_"What's your favorite flower?" He asked. I thought for a moment. Smiling when I found my answer._

_"A daisy," I said. _

_"Wasn't expecting that," He said. I looked over at him._

_"Why not?" I asked._

_"Most girl's say roses," He said. I sighed._

_"I'm not like most girls..." I said. He chuckled._

_"Yeah, I figured that out," He responded._

"No roses?" I kidded and he chuckled.

"You're not like most girls." I smiled.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Kakashi."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Uindo."


	5. Reminiscing

I got a review about this story being hard to follow?

So if anyone can give me hints about how to fix it or tell me what they're confused it would be awesome and I will love them forever and ever (:

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_Chapter Five_

I flicked up the switch and squinted my eyes when the room was filled with light. Then I looked over and stared at the empty chairs. Maybe if they didn't look so vacant, I thought before climbing up the stairs to my aunt and uncles old room. I went to the closet and got my aunt's apron and an outfit she used to wear a lot. Then I got my uncles old clothing and headed down the stairs. I grabbed my aunt's hat as I walked past the dresser.

I put the clothes on the seats that they used to sit at every thanksgiving. Then I placed the daisies that Kakashi had given me into a vase and placed them on the table next to the one's I bought for the occasion.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Unfortunately, no one responded. I looked at their seats long and hard before sitting in the chair I used to sit in.

_"Napkin on the lap young lady," my auntie said to me._

_"But Auntie!" I complained._

_"You're a young lady, Hana." I sighed putting the napkin on my lap._

_"Is this how they eat at home?" I questioned her. My aunt looked like she was at a loss of words. Then she slowly nodded._

_"Yes, it's a lot like it. Except they probably have more food their for all the relatives, and lots of silverware."_

"Shut up," I mumbled letting my head fall to the table. The tears fell staining the table cloth wet. "Shut up, go away—leave my head and me alone."

_"Who's that?" the boy said while pointing at me._

_"Son, don't point."_

_"I was just askin'."_

_"Who...?" The man also looked in my direction before hastily turning back to his son._

_"Let's go."_

_"But dad! You didn't answer my question!" he whined._

_"That's Hana."_

_"That doesn't help anything."_

_"She's someone important's daughter, so don't point fingers or even hang out with her."_

_"She looks like a wimp."_

_"Kakashi Hatake!" his dad raised his voice._

_"She does! She looks like a spoiled brat." I looked over at the boy. Me, spoiled? I straightened my dress and kept walking holding my grandpa's hand._

_"Some day, Hana, you'll grow up. When that happens you'll have to find a good man...a good-"_

_"Kakashi, catch me if you can!" a boy yelled at the grey haired boy before running around in circles around him._

_"-to marry." I stared at the two boys as they chased each other around occasionally falling to the ground on their faces._

_"Hana, are you even listening to me?" My grandpa asked me. I turned up and looked at him._

_"Of course I am, grandpa!" I said smiling up at him._

_"Good— and that man will protect you, and everything your parents own." I looked over to the two boys again when one grabbed the collar of the others shirt and tackled him to the ground._

_"U huh," I said, my eyes still focused on them._

_"What are you looking at...?" he questioned before scoffing._

_"Such a waste of time," he said to me and I looked up at him again.__  
__"It looks like fun!" I said._

_"It's not, trust me."_

_"Ugh!" 'Kakashi' said as the other boy jumped up and ran again. I suddenly felt like running, running with them. Playing maybe. It certainly couldn't be as boring as my grandpa made it out to be. My uncle only likes the really boring stuff. So if he doesn't like it...it must be fun. I thought as I mischievous grin spread on my face._

_"Can I play?" I called after them and ran toward them. My grandpa finally stopped his ranting and turned to look at me with his disapproving eyes._

_"Ew, it's a girl," one of them said. The grey haired one glared at me._

_"Please, can I play?"_

_"No," the grey haired, 'Kakashi', said bluntly._

_"I said please."_

_"So that means when ever you say please you get what you want, huh?" Kakashi said._

_'No, I just meant-"_

_"Hana!" My grandpa yelled at me coming over and pulling me away from them._

_"Even spoiled brats don't get everything they want."_

"What spoiled brat?" I murdered to the table cloth before slowly poking it. Then I sighed and grabbed the telephone on the counter. I dialed a number slowly and still had my head lying on the table while it rang.

"Hello?"

"Kakashi?" I mumbled.

"Who is this?" he questioned.

"It's Uindo, are you doing anything special for thanksgiving?"

* * *

_(Kakashi's point of view)_

"Oh, come in," Uindo said ushering me into the house. The house looked like it was dead. Had she been living here before she moved in with Naruto? I followed her and noticed her face change into a frown when she saw the kitchen.

"Oh, sorry, I was um, cleaning," She picked up the clothing and moved them to another room before quickly coming back and smiling at me. "Sorry! Would you like some turkey?" I sat down on at the table and nodded to her.

"Did you make it?" I asked her, trying to start conversation. She looked like she was lost in thought and her face, even though she was trying to hide it with a smile, looked like she had been crying. Why would she have been crying? Perhaps her aunt and uncle couldn't come to dinner.

"Yes, here you go," she said placing it in front of me and I thanked her. She got some for herself and put it in front of a seat and sat down. She slowly picked up her fork and knife then started cutting her food. I followed her and did the same. However, she didn't eat it. She looked like she was in deep thought once again. It made my heart hurt to see her face like that.

_"Morning," Ino said chipper to me as I entered her family's small flower shop. I turned my attention to a small girl with black hair. She was finishing a small banquet of flowers. The flowers were delicate...and she looked the same. She put the flowers into a large vase. Then stepped back and looked at her work. I walked over to the flowers. What was so familiar about this women?_

_When I reached for the flowers the women did also. She blushed as are hands brushed and pulled her hand away quickly to her chest. Then turned and looked at me. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes widened at seeing me. She took a step back, still staring at me. Ino came around and stared at her then me before leaving to some where trivial._

_"K-k-kashi?" the girl asked. I stared at her. How did she know my name? Where have I seen her before?_

_"Who're you?" I asked. She sighed and looked relieved but then looked sad.  
"Oh, I uh...work here...would you like to buy that banquet? It'll be fifteen dollars," she said picking it up out of the vase and going to the register. I followed her wanting to ask some questions._

_"How do you know my name?" I asked and watched her face scrunch a small bit. Then she tried clearing her throat. _

_"Who doesn't know your name? You're the famous...um,, Kakashi Hatake!" She said bubbling with happiness. I stopped myself from showing any emotion of knowing she was faking it, though. Someone that happy obviously isn't happy._

_"Oh, yes, I am," I said handing her the money for the flowers. She once again put on a fake looking smile and I picked up the flowers. I started to turn but stopped after making up my mind. I turned toward her and noticed a small gasp come from her lips._

_"Would you like to get some ramen with me? After your shift of course," I said. I want to know who she is. I want to know more about her. She slowly shook her head._

_"Um, I'm sorry, my shift goes really late and..." she started to drift off. I nodded my head, not sure what else to do. She was lying. It was so obvious._

_"Your shift gets off at six! And anyways, you have to go with him Hin-" The women quickly got off Ino._

_"Alright! I'll go, when will you pick me up?" she asked in defeat._

_"Six," I said before turning and leaving. Hin...what is your full name? I thought as I walked toward Kurenai's apartment.  
_  
I stood up from my chair and crouched down to her height. She gasped when she noticed I was there.  
"Uindo," I said to her, my face inches from hers.

"Yes?" she asked slightly out of breath. She stared into my eyes before her eyes went down to looking at where my lips would be if not covered by the mask.  
"Happy Thanksgiving," I said to her before she slightly smiled.

"Um...may I?" she questioned quietly.

"What would you like?" I asked.

"Kiss you?" she whispered. I shook my head bringing my face closer to hers.

"May I...Uindo...kiss you?" she gulped and nodded her head slowly before closing her eyes. I pulled down my mask and brought my lips to hers. I don't want to see your fake smile anymore, Hin. I want a real genuine smile.

* * *

_(Hana)_

I stood up and dressed myself. Then headed toward the kitchen and looked in the fridge. There was practically nothing in there. I'll have to go shopping. I turned and grabbed my coat off the rack and headed out of the house. I shivered as I opened the door and the cold air prickled my skin.

"Winter," I mumbled. It was most definitely coming, as much as I would like to deny it. The birds were flying south, the farm animals being put into the barns, and the children having more layers of clothing on. I watched a group of children play on a slide. I always wanted one, I thought before passing them and going on my way to the market. I grabbed the groceries I needed and headed back home. When I got there I saw Sasuke holding Naruto in a head lock.

"Let go! Let go!" Naruto yelled.

"Give me back my damn fruit loops box!" Sasuke yelled at him.

"I don't have it! I swear!"

"Guys," I said still standing idly in the doorway. Goosebumps were already formed on my legs and arms. I shivered again because of the wind. It was getting even colder. Sasuke looked up at me as did Naruto. Naruto, still in a headlock, grinned at me.

"You're home!" he said.

"Sasuke, let Naruto go."

"He--!"

"Naruto, give him his cereal, I went shopping." I put the bags on the counter. Sasuke released Naruto and Naruto picked the box up from under the couch. Then Naruto bounced his way over to the counter.

"Did you get anything good? How about Ramen...get any ramen?" Naruto said quickly. He's hyper this morning, I thought to myself.

"I bought some ramen," I said sweetly, trying to calm down the overly hyper boy.

"Where?" he asked as he ripped open bags of food. I sighed before going over and pulling them out of a bag the he hadn't ripped yet.

"Ramen!" he yelled taking it and hugging it. I watched him for a few moments. He then began to look up at me with puppy dog eyes.

"What?" I questioned.

"Will you make it for me?" he begged.

"Huh?"

"Please!" he begged again.

"Sure I will, Naruto," I said smiling at him and taking it. "Would you like some ramen, Sasuke?"

"No," he responded.

"Why not?"

"I hate ramen."

"I'll make you some dumplings, okay?" I questioned. It took him a while to respond. However, when he did he was standing in the door way staring at me.

"I like them just under cooked," he told me before going down the hall. I stared at where he had been standing. I guess he moved in, I thought to myself before heading to cook the food.

"Thank you!" Naruto said as I set down the hot ramen in front of his seat. He sat down and started slurping away. Then I sat down the bowl of dumplings for Sasuke.

"Thanks," he mumbled quietly.

"Hmm?" I said, feigning that I didn't hear him. He brought his head up and glared at me. I smiled an eye shutting smile at him before sitting down at my spot. I had a small bowl of lo mien in front of me. Then Sasuke, along with me, began to eat.


	6. Accepting A Marriage Proposal

**So for some reason fanfiction won't let me fix an error in the last chapter even when I deleted it and redid it with the correction. SO, I'm super sorry if you got confused during Kakashi's POV. Here's the place that needs the correction:**

_"Morning," Ino said chipper to me as I entered her family's small flower shop. I turned my attention to a small girl with black hair. She was finishing a small banquet of flowers. The flowers were delicate...and she looked the same. She put the flowers into a large vase. Then stepped back and looked at her work. I walked over to the flowers. What was so familiar about this women?_

_When I reached for the flowers the women did also. She blushed as are hands brushed and pulled her hand away quickly to her chest. Then turned and looked at me. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes widened at seeing me. She took a step back, still staring at me. Ino came around and stared at her then me before leaving to some where trivial._

_"K-k-kashi?" the girl asked. I stared at her. How did she know my name? Where have I seen her before?_

_"Who're you?" I asked. She sighed and looked relieved but then looked sad.  
"Oh, I uh...work here...would you like to buy that banquet? It'll be fifteen dollars," she said picking it up out of the vase and going to the register. I followed her wanting to ask some questions._

_"How do you know my name?" I asked and watched her face scrunch a small bit. Then she tried clearing her throat. _

_"Who doesn't know your name? You're the famous...um,, Kakashi Hatake!" She said bubbling with happiness. I stopped myself from showing any emotion of knowing she was faking it, though. Someone that happy obviously isn't happy._

_"Oh, yes, I am," I said handing her the money for the flowers. She once again put on a fake looking smile and I picked up the flowers. I started to turn but stopped after making up my mind. I turned toward her and noticed a small gasp come from her lips._

_"Would you like to get some ramen with me? After your shift of course," I said. I want to know who she is. I want to know more about her. She slowly shook her head._

_"Um, I'm sorry, my shift goes really late and..." she started to drift off. I nodded my head, not sure what else to do. She was lying. It was so obvious._

_"Your shift gets off at six! And anyways, you have to go with him Hin-" The women quickly got off Ino._

_"Alright! I'll go, when will you pick me up?" she asked in defeat._

_"Six," I said before turning and leaving. Hin...what is your full name? I thought as I walked toward Kurenai's apartment._

**It's all a flashback of the first time he remembers meeting Hana.**

**Hope that helps a little!  
**

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

**Chapter Six**

_(Naruto)_

Mmm...ramen. I munched down on my ramen quickly and slurped up the broth. "Another please!" the man handed me another bowl and I went to work on it.

"Naruto?" I raised my head from my ramen and looked toward the person who spoke my name.

"Ino?" I questioned, noodles hanging from my mouth.

"Ew, keep the ramen in your mouth."

"Sorry," I mumbled and slurped them up and swallowed them.

"Anyways, I just wanted to talk with you."

"Me?" I mumbled. Ino wanted to talk to me?

"Don't get full of yourself," she replied sharply.

"No, no, I would never do that," I responded and she rolled her eyes.

"Can I get you something?" the man behind the counter asked.

"A small shrimp ramen, please," Ino said as she sat down beside me.

"What did you want to talk about?" I mumbled leaving my ramen for a second before returning to my bowl.

"I was just wondering," she said staring off at the wall. "How is Hana?"

"Good," I replied quickly.

"I really miss her. Is she eating?" Ino asked. I couldn't help but stare at her. I never thought of her as the motherly type of person. Girl...women...what ever.

"Yep! Another ramen please!"

"Ugh," Ino said. "Is she sleeping well?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "She seams to be."

"You're ramen," the man said.

"Thank you," she replied before turning back to me.

"Hey Ino," a guy with brown hair said smiling at her. I had never seen him before. Who is he?

"Hey," she replied to him.

"I'll see you around," he said as he kept passing. She rolled her eyes.

"He's so annoying," she mumbled to me.

"Who is he?" I questioned.

"Honestly, I have no idea." I was going to laugh but I didn't think Ino would like it. Sakura always punched me when I laughed at her jokes. Ino looked over at me.

"What? I'm really not funny at all am I?" I quickly shook my head.

"It's not that...it's just every time I laugh when Sakura jokes around, she punches me."

"Naruto."

"Hm?"

"Please. Don't compare me to Sakura."

"Sorry."

"I better go," Ino said putting her purse...pouch...thing down on the counter. "Thank you," she said handing the man behind the counter the money for her ramen.

"Bye," I said before asking for my check.

"Bye," Ino replied. Then she turned around and walked out of the ramen bar.

"You're bill," the man behind the counter said. I looked at it. Wow, I ate a lot today. Then I reached my hand into my right back pocket. It wasn't there. Then I checked my back left pocket. It wasn't there either!

"I-I..left it at home," I said.

"Pay up," the man said his eyes seaming to get darker.

"Ino!" I called quickly. She turned around and looked at me.

"What?" she asked annoyed.

"Can I borrow money?"

"What? No!"

"Sakura always says the same thing..." I said trying to get her to pay.

"Ugh! Fine, here's the money." She set her purse...I'll call it that...on the counter as she searched for the money. Then she handed it to her and the man handed her the change.

"Happy now? You better say thank you."

"Thank you!" I said grinning with my eyes closed. Then Ino left the ramen bar again.

"Idiot," Sasuke mumbled and I jumped.

"Sasuke!" I yelled at him. "Don't jump out like that!"

"I've been standing here since Ino gave the man the money. Idiot."

"I'm not an idiot!" I yelled.

"That's what you think," Sasuke said putting his hands in his pockets and walking away. I glared at his retreating form.

"Well, to home I guess," I mumbled. Then I smelled a fresh pot of ramen. I turned, it smelled delicious. If only I had money, I thought before looking at the counter. My eyes widened. A small purple purse was there...Ino's purse! She must have left it.

"Ramen! Just made!" I quickly grabbed her purse and turned to smell the ramen again. Letting it fill my senses. Mmm...ramen.

"Maybe, she won't notice," I thought grinning.

"Two chicken ramens please!" I said then stopped. "No, never mind." I turned around out of the ramen bar. I couldn't spend her money. It wasn't mine to spend. And sure, I got her to pay for mine, but that's not cruel like stealing is. I stopped at home and grabbed my green froggy wallet. Then I started walking to Ino's shop.

"I hope she doesn't think I took it from her," I thought. I looked to my right and stopped where I stood. "I should probably thank her." In the window was a pair of sky blue chop stick things that the girls put in their hair. Then on the tips they had deep blue heart crystals. I walked into the store and asked the man at the register to bring them. Then I asked him how much they cost. They were not cheap...they were really expensive.  
I looked down at my wallet then at the hair things.

Well...she paid for my ramen...and ramen is the most important thing in the word. So I guess the least I could do was get her these. I slowly handed the man the money for the hair things. Then headed out of the store with them in a small pink bag with a purple lace bow. I looked down at my now squished looking wallet. It was so empty now. After I put my wallet away I once again started walking to Ino's shop.

**

* * *

**_(Ino)_

"Have a nice day!" I said as a customer left. I sighed; finally the place was not busy. Christmas was coming up, which meant people buying flowers for their lovers and relatives. Which reminded me—my Christmas party was soon. Who had I already invited? Sasuke, Sakura, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kurenai-sensei, Asuma-sensei, Kiba, Neji, TenTen, Hinata, Shino...

The bells on the door rang, meaning someone came into the store. I sighed before looking up at them. Why must a customer come at this exact moment?

"Oh, hi Ino."

"What do you want, Naruto?" I questioned annoyed. Just because I paid for your ramen doesn't mean we're best friends.

"Well uh," he started before pulling something out of his pocket. It was my purse! He lifted it up for me to take. "You left it at the ramen bar."

"You better not have taken one penny! I swear if you did, Naruto, I'll-"

"I didn't take any," he said with almost a sad look on his face. "I can't believe you would think of me doing that." My eyes softened and I regretted what I had just said to him.

"Here," he said pulling out another thing from his pocket. What all is he carrying around in his pockets? He lifted out a small pink gift bag with a purple bow on it. "I bought it for you, to thank you for paying for my ramen." I slowly opened it and gasped as I saw what was inside.

"Naruto...these are..." the things I saw in the window. I had wanted them so bad, but they were way too expensive. How could he have enough money to pay for these? It must have taken at least two months pay.

"I'm sorry if you don't like them you can return them for the money," he stated before looking at his feet. "I just thought they were pretty, they reminded me of your eyes." My eyes? My eyes watered a little bit, that's so sweet. Since when was Naruto so sweet...and mature?

"No," I replied. "They're absolutely beautiful. Thank you."

"You're welcome." I blinked a few times. That's right, I forgot to invite Hana to my party!

"Hey Naruto," I said.

"Hmm?"

"Can you give this to Hana. It's a party invite," I said smiling at him.

"Sure," he said and I handed it to him. Then he looked sad again, and I felt bad. I reached over the counter and grabbed another invitation.

"This one is for you," I said to him. His face lit up as I said that and handed it to him.

"Thank you so much, Ino!" he said happily.

"Yeah, don't mention it." He suddenly looked like something clicked in his head. That can't be good.

"Hey Ino, will you get ramen with me tomorrow?" he asked.

"I'm not paying."

"Is that a yes?"

"It means I'm not paying."

"I'll see you there then...?" he half stated and half asked. I just looked at him. "I'll pay." My eyes softened yet again.

"What time do you want to meet there?" I asked him, giving in.

"I can come get you at noon!" he suggested.

"I'll be at training till one."

"I can pick you up there and walk with you to the ramen bar!" he suggested.

"Okay," I said sweetly to him and smiled. He really was sweet. I can't believe Sakura is so mean to him.

"You won't get harmed at all with the Naruto Uzumaki guarding you!" he said. I sighed. He still needed some work, though.

* * *

_(Hana)_

I can't believe that Ino invited me to a party. I doubt I'll go, though. It doesn't seem like something that I would go to. A formal dressed Christmas party. "Hana!" Naruto called coming into the room.

"Do you know how to tie a tie?" he asked and I couldn't help but chuckling. He was too cute.

"Why are you getting dressed up? It seems unlike you," I said. I chuckled again when his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. Hmm, a crush maybe?

"Because it's a formal party," he said to me.

"U huh," I replied as I motioned for him to come closer.

"Are you going to go?" he asked as I was tying his tie.

"Oh no," I said to him.

"Why not?" he questioned.

"I'm just not into that kind of stuff," I said before standing up and studying my work. Then I grabbed a brush off my dresser and started putting it through his tangled hair.

"You know..." Naruto started. "I bet Kakashi will be there."

"He said he doesn't like these kinds of things." Naruto sighed in defeat.

"So you really won't come?" he asked with a frown on his face.

"Nope, I'll be right here when you get home," I told him before ruffling his hair.

"Thank you..." he said before he quietly mumbled to himself, "...mom."

"You're welcome! Sorry, I didn't hear the last thing you said. You should stop mumbling, it's a bad habit," I replied to him with an eye shutting smile.

"I just said thank you. I'll see you later!" he said before blitzing out of the room and out of the house. Naruto is way too hyper. I sighed and sat back down on my bed.

"Kakashi is going tonight." My eyes darted to the door. Sasuke was leaning up against it.

"Sasuke," I rolled my eyes.

"He is. He wouldn't go until Ino told him you were going. Then he said he'd go." I blushed.

"Are you going?" I asked. He scoffed.

"Go and be flocked by fan girls? I think not," he replied before turning and leaving me alone in my temporary room. I looked to my closet. Well, if Kakashi is going because of me...I think I can find something nice to wear. I stood myself up and went over to my closet. I grabbed a white dress and quickly changed. It still fit after ten years. Then I brushed my already brushed hair and stood in front of the mirror. Should I wear it up or down? I pulled my hair up into a bun, leaving my long bangs hanging by the sides of my face.

Then I grabbed a small bag in my dresser that held the little make up I actually owned. I put on some lip glass and mascara. Then I grabbed a pair of white flats with little black bows on the front. After I looked in the mirror one last time I headed out of the house.

It was even worse than I expected. The lights were dim and there were so many people there. There was loud Christmas music playing and many people dancing to it. There was a small bar with alcoholic beverages that adults and teenagers alike were drinking. I did chuckle, though, when I saw Naruto ask Ino to dance. She accepted him! I was so proud of him. I don't think I could ever like Sakura. There was just something about her.

* * *

"Hey," I turned around. Kakashi was standing me, a black mask over his face and a black suit on him. He was absolutely hansom. I stared up at him. He brought his face to my ear.

"You're wearing white..." he whispered.

"And?" I whispered back.

"Do you know what it means when you were a white dress?" My eyes widened and realization hit.

"Yes."

"So," he smirked under his mask. "Are you lying?" I blushed and shook my head side to side.

"I never did anything like that before," I whispered. He chuckled and my blush deepened.

"You're cute when you blush," he said.

"Meany," I mumbled.

"You're cute when you're upset too." I put my arms over my chest and crossed them, faking a pout.

"Will you dance with me?" he asked and I stopped my facade.

"Um, yes," I replied. He held out his hand and I took it. Compared to how everyone else there was dancing, Kakashi and I were dancing like we were in some Cinderella movie.

"You're a good dancer," Kakashi said trying to make conversation.

"I used to practice in front of my mirror when I was younger," I replied chuckling at the memory. Before I knew it we weren't in the party room anymore, the loud Christmas music barely touching my ears. We were on a balcony.

"Wow, the stars are beautiful."

"Yes, yes you are." I blushed at what he said. We just stood there for a few moments. Its winter, I thought to myself as I shivered.

"Are you cold?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm fine," I replied. He didn't give me his coat to wear. But he did the next best thing...or maybe the best thing. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Uindo," he started saying in my ear. "Will you...marry me?" My shivering stopped and my heart beat raced. I looked up into Kakashi's eye.

"You'd want to marry someone like me?" I questioned half to myself and half to him.

"I would love to."

"Are you really sure?" I questioned.

"I wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't absolutely positive it was the right thing in my heart."

"Wow."

"What?"

"That was really romantic...especially coming from you," I responded and he chuckled.

"I can be romantic."

"In random rare situations."

"Are you ignoring my question?" he said making fun of me.

"Kind of," I stated honestly. Then he pulled out a small black velvet looking box. He pulled it open and picked up a ring. It was a gold ring with a red heart in the middle and two white crystal hearts, one on each side. It was most definitely a marriage ring.

"Does that help at all?" he said jokingly.

"No, it doesn't change anything," I responded to him.

"Its pure gold and-" I cut him off and kissed him on the lips.

"Is this a yes?" he questioned while kissing me. I broke away.

"Take a guess, ninja boy." He slid the ring on my hand and kissed me again, brushing his lips against mine. Is this heaven?

* * *

**A/N I personally love this chapter ^-^**


	7. Leaving the Village

**The _long?_ awaited chapter seven!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

**Chapter 7 **

Sometimes life finds a way to be cruel during the most perfect times. When life is too perfect is usually when all falls into despair. I guess my life was too perfect. So life, trying to balance itself, made my perfect night into one of despair. Marriage in Konoha is much different than that of other far away places. When you slide the ring onto your finger you are married. There is no need for a priest and witnesses to be present. When you slide the ring on it is a promise to each other, to live with each other for your whole life, in marriage. Of course, it's not fully completed until the marriage night.

"I love you," Kakashi whispered in my ear as we entered the house, joining the party.

"I..." I hesitated. "love you." We walked into the party, hand in hand. We kissed before separating and I went to the drink table. I got a light alcoholic beverage, not testing my drinking capacity. Honestly, I think this was one of the first times I ever drank.

I turned and sipped at it as I watched people dance to the music. The music was still loud and annoying, but my cheery mood made me forget about that. My eyes lingered over Kakashi as he moved. He was talking to Might Gai, and then suddenly Gai slapped him hard on the back before hugging him. Kakashi looked so annoyed, yet happy, with Gai.

"Would you like some more?" the bar tender asked me. I glanced at my now empty glass. Wow, I already finished it.

"No, thank you," I said to him as I set down my glass. Then I glanced down at my left hand. Married, the word sent butterflies down my whole body. Married to Kakashi, I blushed when Gai and Kakashi looked over at me. I turned my attention to Naruto. He was standing next to Ino and Shikamaru, all of them talking and laughing together. When I glanced over at Kakashi again he was gone. A hand tapped my shoulder and I turned to see him, his gravity defying hair the same as always.

"May I have this dance?" he asked me.

"You may," I replied. We went against the rhythm of the dance as we danced slowly together. His body so close to mine, his breath warm on my neck. I laid down my head on his shoulder. I love you, I thought to myself. I love you so much. Suddenly the door burst open. The music stopped and I looked over at _him_, lifting my head from Kakashi's shoulder. _He_ had an anbu outfit on, however, _his_ mask wasn't on. _He_ had brown hair and I instantly recognized _him_ as an old friend of mine, from the academy days. _He_ looked around the room..._he_ was looking for someone.

"Hana!" _he_ said. I froze in my spot. I didn't move, I didn't even bother to breath. I felt everything around me slip underneath my feet. "Hana!" _he_ repeated coming up to me. I grabbed onto Kakashi. I buried my face into his muscular chest. I breathed in his sent, for as I knew these were the last few seconds with him. The man came up to me out of breath.

"Hana?" Kakashi questioned looking down at me. I didn't even need to look up at him to feel his gaze on my head. His arms were around me but they loosened a small bit.

"Hana," the man repeated. I wanted to yell at _him_, yell at _him_ to stop calling me that name. I hate that name. I hated it so much. Nothing to do with that name ever brought me happiness.

"Hana?" Kakashi muttered again. "As in Hana Nakamura?" The man nodded. No. This can't be happening...and all I'm doing is latching on.

"Hana, Sasuke left the village!" My eyes widened, the tears stopped coming. **Sasuke...left?** Why is this happening to me? Why me...? Kakashi didn't move, even at hearing that Sasuke had left. He just stood still not moving. Then, as I feared, he let go of me and stepped back. I straitened my back and stood wiping my eyes and trying to compose myself.

"Nakamura...?" His eyes widened and he stepped back again. I noticed the change in his eyes the second he recognized my name. I couldn't bear to watch him as his hands clenched. I couldn't bare to just stand there dumbly. I glanced around at the faces. People, lots of them, all staring at us. Then, before I could think through anything, I sprinted out of the door. I didn't care if lightning stuck me where I stood, at that moment that was probably what I was hoping for.

It was raining out and my white dress was going see through. I ran all the way to my aunt and uncle's old house. I climbed up the stairs two at a time. I ran through the door and broke down when I got into the room. Even though it was covered in so much dust, it still brought back some old memories… 

_"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" I, being younger, yelled, tears falling down my face as I yelled. The two girls next to me stared at me like I was a misplaced thing._

_"Stop what?" The tall black haired girl asked._

_"Stop picking on me! I bet boys are nicer than you!" The two girls chuckled._

_"Really? Who?" The brown haired girl asked her, her hands on her hips. My eye's flickered around me until they landed on a certain silver haired boy._

_"K-kakashi!" I said with a stutter._

_"Kakashi?" The two girls asked while following my gaze toward him._

_"Want a bet?" The black haired asked looking over at me._

_"Y-y...yes," I said determined._

_"Kakashi-kun!" The black haired called while waving her hands. As the girl expected the boy came right over._

_"Hey," he said._

_"Hi Kakashi," the black haired responded. "Don't you think she is so ugly?" she said pointing toward me. She grinned when she got her response._

_"Who? Her?" the silver haired asked pointing to me as I cried. The black haired girl nodded. "Of course she is."_

_"K-k...k-k...kaka...shi...." I stuttered, after trying to speak to him, I ran away in tears. I should've known better. Of course Kakashi would side with the other girl. Kakashi always liked her._

I looked around me before going over to the window and opening it. I shivered as the rain pounded down on me, a cold wind with it.

_"May you...um..." I started but stopped. "never mind, it's stupid." I started walking again._

_"Wait no," he said catching up and taking my hands in his. I stared down at our hands. "just say it...anything on your mind at all." I looked up at his face. I wish I could see his face. If he had a pleading expression or not I didn't know._

_"Will you...I mean you don't have to..." I paused still looking at him. "Say your sorry again?" I saw the little wrinkles in his mask, indicating that he was smiling._

_"I'm sorry." My heart tugged._

_"Again?" I asked._

_"I'm sorry." My heart got yanked from where it stood and I hugged him. He put his arms around me and I slowly rocked back and forth, my head resting on his shoulder._

_"Please, just this once, say you're sorry for everything that you ever did to hurt me?" I questioned feeling odd about it afterward. I could feel the warm tickle sensation when he spoke._

_"I'm sorry, for everything I ever did to hurt you," he whispered into my ear._

_"I think I'm falling in love with you..." I whispered, not noticing I said it out loud…_

I bit my lip and exhaled. I jumped out the window and landed onto the muddy earth. I put my hands together into a hand sign and focused all of my chakra into my hands. It felt like all of my anger and sadness was being bunched together with the chakra. I closed my eyes as the shield of chakra became bigger and bigger. Then, as I had expected, it exploded. With it went my anger, sadness, and every emotion I felt at the time. I collapsed to the cold, wet, ground, out of chakra.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

I clenched my hand, a rock in it. The whole time...the person I loved...was actually Hana? Not just any Hana, Hana Nakamura! I sighed before throwing the rock into the water. I guess I really had no reason to hate her. I always did, but didn't really have a reason. I guess it's because after my father died I pretty much despised everything and everyone. I also rebelled.

My father had said Hana was someone important's daughter. So I had to be nice to her, not play with her, pretty much treat her like a spoiled princess. Then there was the way my dad looked at her. Like she was more important then his very own son!

I picked up another rock and studied it as it was in my hand. I did regret all the mean things I had said to her. But...my Uindo...she wasn't my Uindo at all. She wasn't my beautiful wild flower. She was...Hana! It was so infuriating. Was everything she told me a lie? What, did she get some sadistic joy from watching me suffer like this? Why did she do all this? Why? Why, darn it tell me! The rock crushed into powder and I stared at it.

What if...she was the same person? What if...Uindo...what if she...had the same feelings as Hana? Was she still that sadistic monster I was just thinking she was? Ugh! This is so annoying! I let the powder of the rock slip through my fingers, watching it blow in the breeze.

Was that what Hana was doing? Flittering in the breeze? Messing with emotions, then leaving? I let my mind drift back to the party...everything then was so...happy. It was like all my happiness got sucked away in less than a minute. It's like when she left she ripped out my heart and took it with her. I shook my head side to side, I'm sounding like a depressed idiot. I'm a ninja. A jounin, for goodness sake. I pulled my hand through my hair. Get a hold of yourself.

I lifted myself from the where I sat and stood. I turned toward my home village and walked toward it. I don't want to go back, I thought to myself. I just want to stay...away. Against what I was saying in my mind, I headed to the village. I walked through the gates with my hands in my pockets. Acting calm and collected, as I always do, however, my mind was off some where else. Some where in a meadow of flowers...Uindo's hands going through my hair. Her gentle, soft, vanilla smelling hands, going through my hair slowly.  
Darn it!

* * *

_(Hana)_

"Naruto?" I mumbled. He was lying on his bed, his blankets thrown across the floor. I shook him again. He didn't move. "Naruto?" I repeated. I leaned down toward him. He looked so cute when he was sleeping. His night cap on him. I put my arms around him and hugged him. His arms went around me as I hugged him. They hugged me tightly and I could feel his nails scratch down my back as his teeth gritted together.

"Sh, it's okay, Naruto," I said, saying it as soothing and soft as I could. His nails were deep in my skin and they didn't stop scraping down on my back. I could practically sense the blood now coming from my back. However, no tear was near my eyes at the pain. "What pain?" I mumbled to myself. I had gotten rid of it last night.

"Hana?" Naruto eyes opened. His hands were no longer digging into my back. "What are you doing in here?" He was still hugging onto my tightly.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked him not moving.

"Just a simple nightmare," he replied. I pulled him closer to me.

"It's okay, I'm right here," I said to him. I didn't look at him, though I could feel the tears on my shoulder.

"I was...attacking the village...no, it was attacking the village..." he trailed off. "I couldn't control it and it just went house to house, destroying everything in it's path. I couldn't stop it. I watched as it killed people...innocent people, people I love!"

I remained silent. I stayed there, being warmth for Naruto. It was the best I could do for him. I couldn't say any comforting words. I just sat there as he latched onto me, as tears streamed down his face.

Naruto...**how much pain are you_ really_ in?**

* * *

_(Sasuke)_

I could feel death. It was all around me...in the very air I breathed. It was my death. This was my choice, I thought to myself. I chose this. **Hana.** The name strayed into my head. So ironic for it to come into my head at a time like this. If there was ever a person I looked up to, it would be Hana. Not look up to as a idol, or a role model. I looked up to her...maybe, as an older sister. Obviously I didn't show it, but I felt it.

Sakura. Ugh. Why torture me? I'm lying here, taking in breaths just before my death, why must I be tortured now? It's not like I didn't have to put up with her every second of the day...but now? Seriously! Other names of trivial people winded their way into my head.

Naruto, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, TenTen, Lee, Neji, Kakashi. Ugh, Kakashi. He better get off his lazy ass and marry my sister. Why was I calling her that now? I might as well, I guess. If he doesn't, I swear I'll kill him.

Don't end up getting yourself killed, Hana. I'll kill you myself if you do.

...I don't know how I will...but I'll find a way.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

"Are you sure about this, Kakashi?"

"I'm positive," I replied as she handed me the papers. I grabbed the pen ready to sign them.

"It's a tough decision, I just hope you choose what is best for you and Hana," she replied before stepping away from the counter and leaving the room. I gritted my teeth together, quickly signing my signature. There, I thought. It's done.

* * *

_(Hana)_

"Are you positive about this, Hana?"

"Yes, completely," I responded. She handed me the papers and handed me a black pen. I looked down at the paper, reading it over again.

"It's a difficult decision. A hard one too. I pray you choose what is best for you and Kakashi," she said to me before going back to all the papers on her desk. I picked up the pen and stared at it a moment. Kakashi. I gritted my teeth, fighting back the tears. Then I put the pen to the paper and quickly signed my name.

* * *

I held the papers copy of the papers in my hand. I looked down at it. I had to forge Kakashi's signature, but I'm sure all was fine. I folded them, then put them back into the envelope. I just hope he's happy with it, I thought to myself. Then I opened the door to his house. All the lights were out. I flicked on a light to the right of me, that I had a hard time finding in the dark. It was actually only around eight o'clock. I hated winter. It always made the days seem short. Scratch that, it did make the days short.

"Hana?" he mumbled rubbing sleepy eyes. I went over and hugged him, and he hugged me back.

"I have a present for you," I said handing him the envelope. "I really, really hope you like it."

"A present? It's not my birthday," he replied.

"Just open it," I said to him. Then a thought went through my mind. "It's your Christmas present." He did as he was told. He opened it and looked at the paper with confused eyes. Then his blue eyes went wide, his mouth hung. Slowly he looked up at me. Then he hugged me so tightly I could hardly breath.

"Adopted? **Adopted!**" he squeezed me. "So this means I can call you mom?"

"Of course you can."

"What about mother, mommy, mama?"

"If that's what you'd like," I replied to him. He let go and sighed.

"I have a mom," he mumbled to himself.

"Yep," I said. "And the first thing I'm going to tell you, as your mother, is that you have to get washed up for dinner."

"Aw, that's not fair!" he complained.

"Naruto."

"Huh?"

"It's ramen."

"I'll be just a minute!" he raced to the bathroom. I grabbed the ramen out of the cupboard. I really need to get him on a balanced diet. I'm not sure eating noodles all the time is healthy for him.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

I pulled my old mask over my face. Wow, it's been a while, I thought. I'm just glad I kept all my gear. I walked in the hokage's door and bowed.  
"So I see you've made your decision," she said to me. I looked at her desk, and inwardly sighed. She had drunk seven cups of sake and they were all spread randomly across her desk.

"I have," I replied to her. Standing up straight.

"I hope it didn't come between you and Hana-" I grit my teeth "-you two really were a cute couple."

"Sorry, but I am supposed to be leaving for a mission."

"Oh, right," she said. She looked down at her desk. I could see worry in her eyes. She misplaced my mission scroll. She started rummaging through everything. Throwing things on the floor and couch. Then she sighed content when she found it.

"Here you go," she said to me and handed it to me. "I expect you back in five days."

"Understood," I said before disappearing.

* * *

_(Tsunade)_

I rubbed my throbbing head. I think I had one too many yesterday, I thought looking at the sake bottles. I really hope Kakashi knows what he is doing. He just signed in ink, and in blood, that he would serve as an anbu for two years. I hope he fully knows the conditions.

"Life is too difficult when you worry," I said once again rubbing my forehead. I looked down at my bottom drawer, a smirk forming on my lips. Just one more can't hurt.

* * *

_(Hana)_

****"Can I have fourths, mom?" Naruto asked me.

"Help yourself," I said signaling to the large pot of ramen. Naruto got up from the table and poured himself another bowl of ramen. Then he sat back down. He brought his face close to the ramen bowl and closed his eyes as he breathed in the smell of ramen.

"Ramen!" he said happily before digging in to it. "Wait, aren't you going to eat some?"

"Oh no, I'm not hungry," I replied to him. He tightened his eyes at me.

"You haven't eaten."

"I'm just not hungry." He stood up and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and filled it with steaming hot ramen. Then he put it in front of me.

"Naruto I-" he cut me off.

"As your son I am supposed to make you eat, even if you don't want to," Naruto said before blowing on my ramen for me. I didn't say anything as he blew on my ramen or as he put it onto chopsticks for me. Or even when he stuck the chopsticks in my mouth. Well, I couldn't when he stuck the ramen in my mouth because I couldn't speak. He made unimaginably big bites!

**"Eat up!" **

* * *

_**A/N: Any questions? Feel free to contact me (=**_


	8. Mission

Thank you everyone for all the darling reviews.

All of you are what keep me writing.

* * *

My Heart Yearns

Chapter Eight

_(Kakashi)_

_..."Kakashi."_

_"Mmm," Kakashi mumbled in his sleep._

_"Kakashi," the voice called to him. It was sweet, angelic. It flittered gently on the breeze._

_"Who's there?" he muttered while opening his eyes. He looked around him. He was in a woods, the sun just coming up. The sun cast shadows about, but not the scary kind. He was surrounded by flowers...daisies. He felt a presence and quickly turned toward it._

_"Uindo?" he said. She was a haze, a beautiful blur. She leaned down to his sitting height, her butt raised in the air. Then she gently kissed him on the lips._

_"Kakashi," she said in her cherubic voice. The voice skidded off the flowers, trees, and pond. It skipped around the air. _

_"Why are you here?" he questioned. A small smile fell upon her face. It made her gentle features glow. She kissed him again before standing._

_"Why are you here?" he repeated. Her smile fell into a frown, her face no longer with the beautiful glow. _

_"Set me free," she said quietly. _

_"Set you free from what?" _

_"Please," she said sounding desperate. Her blurry form started to disappear. She reached out to him, her hand nearly touching his face. When her hand was almost touching his face it started disappearing. "Set me from myself, my emotions, my past."_

_"I will, Uindo, I promise."_

...I jumped forward, my breath uneven. As I was gasping I looked around me, at my surroundings. I was still in the tent I had set up the night prier. I sighed putting my hand to my head. I rubbed my face.

"A dream," I mumbled. I picked up myself and my camp. Then I headed to my destination once again. It became dark quickly and I stopped, hearing voices. Not people's voices, voices of the wind. I twisted quickly, dodging a kunai that was aimed for my head. I skillfully pulled three kunai out of my pouch and turned toward where the other had come from. Laughing started to come from the edge of some trees.

"The copy ninja," came a voice. Not an angelic voice, a demonic one. Then five large men appeared. Not large as in fat, large as in big muscled, strong. I grabbed three kunai for my other hand also.

"Who are you, what do you want?" I asked quickly. The man, who looked like the leader of the group, laughed again. His voice deep and harsh. Then, suddenly, I felt something hard hit my head. I could feel blood coming from where I had hit. I tried to stay standing straight but failed miserably. I started to fall to the ground face first, but I'm not sure if I did because I passed out before I hit.

* * *

_(Hana)_

Naruto handed me the plate again and I sighed. I reluctantly took the plate and set it in front of me, then glared at it. Naruto took his own plate and sat down beside me. Then he picked up his chopsticks and started eating his food. "Morning, Mom."

"Morning," I mumbled still staring at the plate. "I'm not hungry."

"Eat up!"

"I'm not hungry," I whined. He looked over at me.

"I can always hand feed you again," he said with a sly smirk on his face. I glared at him for a short second before looking at my plate. Then I grabbed my chopsticks and started to force the food down. I got several bites in before his face flashed in my mind. Kakashi. The food, that I had recently swallowed, suddenly was in the back of my throat. I ran to the bathroom and shut it. I got to the toilet just in time and vomited the food. I put my hand to my neck, it burned.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked from the other side of the door.

"Of course, Hon!" I said to him, my voice surprisingly not scratchy. "I just need to use the bathroom. Be out in a minute!" I heard Naruto go back to the table so I slouched over the counter, looking at myself in the mirror. I really did look like a muddle. I grabbed a brush off the sink and brushed through my long hair. Then I grabbed my small make up case and started to touch up my face. When I looked at my reflection again I didn't look so bad, the make up covering up my gloomy face. After I put the pouch away I flushed the toilet making it sound as if I really did use the bathroom. Then I washed my hands and headed out of the bathroom.

"It took you long enough!" Naruto complained.

"Sorry," I said to him before sitting down.

"There's a bird flying outside the window," Naruto said standing up. He leaned out and grabbed the letter of it's foot.

"It's probably for you, Naruto. Have fun on your mission," I said as I dumped my soup down the sink without him noticing. He turned to me quickly and I dropped the bowl in the sink.

"It's for you."

**…**

"Did you just...?"

"No."

"Then why...?"

"Finished."

"But-"

"Have to go. Bye." It's not like I was excited to get a letter. Quite the opposite. However, I did not want to go through Naruto's "I'm your son you have to eat" thing that was becoming a routine. Me saying I'm not hungry, him saying he's my son and he gets to make me, me giving in, him getting distracted, and me dumping it out. I walked silently to my room with the letter carefully between my fingers.

My throwing up was getting worse. The smell of the food was making me nauseous. I closed the door and sat down on the bed. With shaky hands I opened the envelope.

* * *

**_D_**_ear Hana Nakamura, _

_Come to my office immediately.__  
__This is not a request. It is an order.__  
__If you are not here within a half an hour I will send a team of ANBU Black Ops to get you.__  
__Do not think of running. __  
__We will find you.__  
__Come quickly._

_- Godaime, Tsunade._

_

* * *

_

"Damn," I mumbled. She made it sound like I was in trouble. I didn't do anything, though. Maybe she just wanted to talk? No. I knew exactly why she called me. It wasn't the first time I had been called by the previous Hokage and the one before that. I knew exactly what they wanted. They wouldn't get it. I pulled on a pair of dark shorts and a blue and grey striped shirt—a pair of simple sandals on my feet. Then I headed out to the Hokage's building, afraid of her actually carrying out her threat.

"Hokage-sama?" I said knocking on the door.

"Come in," replied a woman's voice. I sighed and took a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. I was mentally and emotionally preparing myself for what I knew she would ask. So when she did finally ask it would be a simple "no, I'm sorry, good bye."

"Hokage-sama," I said bowing.

"Hana," she stated quickly, getting to the point. "I didn't call you here to have a pirty conversation with you."

"Petty?" I questioned.

"That's what I said," the Hokage replied. I felt my nose wrinkle in disgust. I could smell the strong scent of alcohol coming from Tsunade's breath.

"You were saying?" I said.

"Ah yes," she looked over to the window. "I want you to become an ANBU." I inwardly rolled my eyes at this and sighed. This was so old school. This is exactly what I had expected.

"No. I'm sorry, but right now life is too busy."

"No, it's not," Tsunade replied leaning back in her chair.

"I have the flower shop and my aunt and uncle to take care of."

"Hana, they're dead. You don't work at the flower shop anymore."

"How did you-?"

"And I know some secrets you and Kakashi wouldn't want the world to know."

"Such as?" I asked.

"Four nights ago Kakashi and you got married. Then three days ago you both signed papers. You to adopt Naruto, him to become an ANBU once again." My eyes widened. He became an ANBU? Such recklessness! What about his team? Even if he felt nothing of leaving me behind, what of his team?

"Do you know what each of those includes?" I nodded my head. "Kakashi, signing the papers, said that he was not married and during his time as an ANBU would not have any kind of a romantic relationship." Wow. She was drunk and she could still say long words.

"And you," she said and I nearly jumped. "You signed the adoption papers, that a husband and wife have to sign...in blood. You went to Kakashi's apartment, pricked his finger, and signed it yourself as him."

"I...I..." I didn't know what to say. I was still flabbergasted that she knew all this.

"You both did highly punished crimes. Death penalty kind of crimes," I cringed as she said it. "However, I will let you both free of them, without telling any one else, if you become an ANBU."

"Why me?" I questioned quietly. "What is so important about me now? Fourteen years ago no one wanted me on their team. No one wanted to know me. Yet alone want me to be on ANBU. I have no great skills, no talents, I'm a washed out old lady with no money to her name and no living family."

"Hana," she said to me. I looked up at her, willing the tears to not come. With a husband who doesn't want her, was what I was going to say. However, I knew the words wouldn't come out without tears, so I didn't say them. "You sneaked into another ANBU's house, sliced their finger, and stole their blood. They did not even stir. Now you are telling me you have no talent? I think differently."

"I need to get back home to my son," I bowed before turning around and griping the handle.

"You go through that door and Kakashi dies." I was frozen in place. I tried to turn the handle, willing my hand to move. It wouldn't move a fraction of an inch. Why? Why me? Why must I love him? He hates you, let go of him, I kept saying to myself. My brain wishing so much to leave, to disappear from that room, could not over power my heart, because my heart wanted to love him and at that moment didn't care if it hurt me again. I turned toward her. She smirked.

"He was kidnapped, two days ago. Your mission description is in this scroll," she handed it to me. I looked at it in my hands. "Go to Gai and he'll get you some ANBU clothes."

"Yes ma'am," I said sadly, and then left the room. My fists clenched around the scroll. I don't know if I can save you Kakashi, but even if all I can do is take your place, I will gladly do that then know you are suffering.

* * *

"Why me? Why me?" I mumbled to myself. Who would have known that Might Gai was extremely...how do I put this...gay in a straight way?

"Let me see!" he said coming up to me. I pulled the shirt over my head as quickly as I could as he barged in the small room with a million mirrors. "Hmm. It doesn't quite fit your curves right. You have amazing curves; it just makes them look dull."

I really lost all patience with him within the first hour I was here. All the extra small ANBU outfits were exactly the same! None of them was "hugging my curves" perfectly or "fitting my form" just right!

"Well, on to the next one!" he said too enthusiastically. He all but ripped the clothes off of me. I kicked him out and changed fast before he could walk in on me again.

"How do you look?" he yelled coming in again. He looked at me and turned all the way around me. Then he put his face extremely close to my chest. I felt the heat rise to my face and even went down to my neck. "It doesn't fit your breasts quite right." Without being able to restrain myself I punched him straight in the face. He landed hitting the wall, even though at the moment I didn't really care.

"Not that you have ugly breasts!" he stated quickly, his left eye already bruising. "They're actually quite beautiful breasts! Very...youthful!" He stood up and walked over, ranting about my chest. I couldn't help the blush that was probably over my whole body...is that possible? I couldn't stop my anger either. I felt like he had no dignity. He was standing there ranting about my chest for goodness sake!

"I wonder what they look like by themselves. Nothing covering the youthful things," he said kind of out of it.

"Gai!" I screamed at him.

"Right!" he said pulling out another. "Try this one." He ran out of the room before I could punch him. I decided not to change and ruffled the new outfit he gave me, then I threw it on the floor. He burst in and I looked toward him.

"Perfect!" he yelled. "It fits your breasts perfectly! It's like a work of art!" One of these days, I thought to myself. He's going to randomly die in a dark alley on his way home from work.

"Oh no," he stated sadly as he was half way around his circle. "Your butt. It doesn't fit right. It makes your butt look wrinkly." I wanted to kill him for mentally taking my clothes off. He threw another outfit at me. Then left the room. I yanked the new one of the hanger and threw it on the floor. Then straightened out my...as he called it...the pants...butt area.

"Coming in! Let's see!" he barged in. He circled me twice, staring and making me feel very self conscious. Then his face lit up. "Perfect! It's absolutely perfect! It highlights every beautiful feature of your youthful body!" I was about to kill myself or him before I got out of that place. If I hadn't gotten out when I did I would've ended up murdering someone.

* * *

"Hana!" I quickly turned toward where the voice came from. Ino was running toward me and stopped right in front of me.

"How did you know it was me?" I questioned her. I had my ANBU outfit and mask on.

"You're the only person in Konoha with long black silky hair," she replied like it was obvious.

"Oh," I responded kind of dumbly.

"Any ways, I heard from a random little bird that you were going on an ANBU mission," I rolled my eyes, flashing back to the conversation with Naruto…

_"Leaving?" he questioned, his eyes almost glazed over. _

_"Just a simple mission, I'll be back as soon as I can," I replied to him. I could see his emotions, that were flying through his mind, in his eyes._

_"Promise?" he asked. His question threw me off guard. _

_"I promise."_

_"Promise you'll be back here, alive?" he choked it out. "Not in a wooden box."_

_"Oh Naruto," I said putting my arms around him. "You silly silly boy. I'll be back here in no time, in one piece and not in a brown box. Okay?" He nodded._

_"I believe you, Mom." No matter how many times he called me that it always tugged at my heart. Mom. Such an honor to be called mom. Such a privilage._

_"I love you, Hon."_

_"I love you too, Mom."_

"…Hana? Hana?" I blinked a few times taking in my surroundings. "Are you okay?"

"Fine!" I said to Ino.

"Well, as I was saying, you better come back here in perfect condition or I swear-"

"Ino," I cut her off. "I'll be perfectly fine." Her eyes softened.

"Naruto will really be hurt if you come back hurt or...dead," she said to me. "I would be too, because, well, you're like an older sister to me. An awesome one."

"Thanks, Ino," I responded putting my arms around her.

* * *

I was either completely crazy or courageous. Right now I was leaning toward the crazy part. How long has it been since I actually fought? Longer than I wanted to admit. And here I am going to try and save someone who is in perfect shape and has been training for fourteen more years than me. Yes, definitely crazy. He was always better than me anyways. What was I doing? I stopped in my run. Going to meet my death? Was it considered suicide if you knew by doing something you would die? If I didn't go then Kakashi would die. Even though he hurt me I still loved him. I should have told him who I was earlier.

I started to run again.

I just got so wrapped up in it. Naruto was also a reason why I was doing this. Because he deserves so much more than what he's gotten. He deserves someone he can count on. Someone he can trust fully. I grit my teeth. He deserved someone better than me. So did Kakashi. My own parents...no. I choked as the tears started to fall silently down my face. I stopped myself from thinking about it. My memories were so blurry now. They have been for a long while. There's always this little feeling that I'm forgetting something deadly vital.

I need a break from this. From everything. "Kakashi," I chocked out. "I'm so sorry. I wish I never hurt you like I did. I wish you could love the real me instead of Uindo. And I fully understand if you never want to talk to me again. But please, I beg you, don't go doing irrational things that could kill you or harm you in any way." If only I could actually tell him that. I stopped running again. Then I pulled a scroll out of my pocket and a brush. I wrote down the words:

* * *

_Dear Kakashi Hatake,_

_I would have put Kaka, but I feel that is too informal for our situation. _

_The situation I started. __  
_

_I'm so sorry. I wish I never hurt you like I did. _

_I wish you could love the real me instead of the__ person I created; Uindo. _

_I fully understand if you never want to talk to me again. _

_But__ please, I beg you, don't go doing irrational things that could kill or harm you in any way. _

_This is all my fault. I'm so incredibly sorry, I can't even find the words for it. _

_I wish that it didn't have to end like it did. I wish there was some way to let you forget it. _

_To let you feel like nothing__ happened...to let you forget me. _

_So I could disappear somewhere in the distance. _

_So you could be happy. _

_That's all I ask. I don't ask for a fake apology. I don't ask for a card, letter, or anything for__  
__that matter. _

_I just want you to be happy. _

_To smile. Smile, Mr. Hatake. Smile because everything__ is beautiful. _

_Smile because you only have one chance. Smile because even if that one chance__  
__hurts so badly, it feels so right in the end. Smile. _

_Just smile. _

_Mr. Hatake, I know that it is nearly __impossible to forget the past. And I know we learn from past mistakes._

_So remember me...? _

_Remember the ripping feeling inside your chest every time something reminds you of the person__  
__I made you believe was real. _

_And learn from it. _

_Live from it. _

_But...smile, Mr. Hatake. _

_Just smile._

**_

* * *

_**

I didn't notice I was crying until as I read the letter I noticed the wet splotches. There, I thought to myself, now that that is off of my chest I can concentrate. I put the scroll into my bag, never for it to see the light of day again. I pulled on my anbu fingerless gloves, securing them tightly on my hands. Then I sprinted away. I sprinted for Naruto. I sprinted for Kakashi. I sprinted for the two men I loved.

I passed tree by tree, feeling a pulsing feeling in the back of my head. What was I forgetting? What was in the back of my mind yet I didn't remember it at all? I turned quickly and grabbed to kunai, mid air, with my finger gracefully going into the circle on the end. I heard a chuckle behind me. Was this my enemy? I threw the kunai behind me before jumping down from the tree and spinning to face my unknown opponent. Try to remember something that sensei taught you! Something! Anything!

"So they send the leaf village's copy ninja. Then to rescue him they send some non-existent little girl? How pathetic." The man appeared behind me, catching me off guard from behind. Then rammed his sai into my chest. Right into my heart. I gasped. Who? I slowly turned, him leaving his sai in my heart as I turned to see his face. My opponent was...was...who? So I'm going to die...not even knowing who killed me? How miserable. How pathetic. How...like me.

So the two men I loved...they would never know? I am pathetic. I'm weak. I'm not a ninja and I should've never tried to be one. You know what? I hate him. I hate both of them. They never believed in me, those bastards! The man in front of me chuckled and I could barely distinguish his facial features. He had dark hair. Black even. It was shaggy and messy looking but not very long. He had sharp grey eyes that made me feel like he could see right into me. His nose was average length but pointed a tad bit at the end. His lips were a dark shad of peachy red. Why was I doing this? Looking at his features when I had seconds to live?

He full out laughed in front of me. "So pretty too. Oh well, I honestly thought you would be able to dodge something simple as that," the man said. I couldn't tell the symbol on his ninja head band. It was just a blur to my eyes. Just a little for focus, I practically sounded like I was begging. "Please," I said to the man. "tell the him that I was never good at genjutsu and that I love him." I coughed on the blood coming up from my mouth.  
"Tell who?" He questioned as his eye brows furrowed together.

"Your prisoner. Tell him-" I coughed again. I could feel my heart stopping and my eyes blurring. The man, being respectable, caught my body as I fell. I'm dying. I breathed before I felt my eyes close.

The man gasped as I thrust two kuani into him. One into his head and the other in his heart. The body in his arms becoming nothing but broken petals. "How?" he mumbled. I'll be respectable too.

"I saw through your jutsu," I said to him calmly, catching the man as he fell. "You were reading my mind the whole time. I simply countered the way I thought and put on my own illusion. Not to make you feel bad, but you actually stabbed a flower I picked." He chuckled at himself.

"So I'm really the pathetic one?"

"No, no, not at all. You're a respectable person, even if your life choice was far from respectable." He chuckled. I shivered as I saw the blood pour out of his mouth.

"So all the confessions and thoughts you had were..." he started but could not finish. The man died in my arms. He died in mid sentence. He died because of me. I swallowed vomit that wanted to come up.

"Fake." I finished his sentence. Then I walked the body over behind a tree and placed a near by wild flower next to his dead body. Then I closed the man's frozen open eyes. How ironic, I thought looking at the flower. It was a daisy.

I jumped into a tree near by yet not so near by. I placed a genjutsu over the place before pulling my knees into my chest. "Love." It hurts. It hurts so badly.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

Everything hurt. Was this going to be where I died? Would the Hokage send someone to rescue me? I hoped not...for their sake. But then I hoped they would, because I didn't want to spend my last days in a cell with regrets tangling around everything I thought about. I wished I could have told Hina that I didn't hate her. I might not love her but I definitely don't hate her. I wished I could have told Kurenai how I really felt. How I felt for so long. I wouldn't before because...well...she had Asuma, and I couldn't do that to them. I would never.

But dying with that still unconfused? Was that healthy? Not that it mattered. I was dying. Why would healthy matter? I tried to chuckle but my throat was so cracked, so dry, it burned. I couldn't even talk. The door of the cell opened and my eye darted to the door. A big burly man came in and dropped a body onto the floor. The man that the other man ordered to beat me. I wasn't cooperating, I guess. Well, hell, I wasn't cooperating. So now my left side was bruised and blood covered. I wouldn't be surprised if it was purple and blue colored but right now that was the least of my problems.

The man shut the door before walking away. It was so dark. So cold. And I hated to admit...lonely. It was so lonely dying here alone. Dying in battle would be an honor. But dying in a cell as your body practically ate itself? I don't see anything respectable about it. I brought my attention to the unmoving body. I couldn't make much out. My right eye being swollen along with the left side of my face. The body moved and I jumped in my skin. My body not being strong enough to move.

I closed my eyes, giving up.

If it was important I would have been able to move...right?

Or was fate sadistic?...

"Kakashi?" The sweet smell of flowers met my nose. Why would something so beautiful smelling be here? "Kakashi." The voice was desperate, begging.

"Please open your eyes, please," The innocent voice said. I did what I was told, with much effort. Crouched in front of me was Uindo. Her hair moving gentle as if there was a breeze in this cell. This dark, moldy smelling cell. She smiled at me, wiping the tears from her face. "I need you to wake up."

"What? No," I said to her. There was no way I could. No way had I wanted to. I was here with Uindo. There was no other place I would rather be.

"Please!" she begged. "I need you to. I'll die if you don't!" I took one last glance at Uindo before doing as she had told me. I slowly opened my eyes…

I groaned as my eyes opened. I was still in the dark cell that I dreaded. Uindo, why did you make me open my eyes? No, she didn't make me. She just asked me. That's when I noticed something slightly move to my right. I jumped. Not just in my skid. My body jerked backward. I moved! It was the body. Only now there was a small bit of light peaking in from the small window of the cell. I gasped.

"Ui-" I stopped before correcting myself. "Hana." She didn't respond at all. So I slowly oh so carefully crawled over to her body. Hana, I thought to myself. She looked so helpless. I brushed her hair from her face. Blood stains were obvious all over her. I scooted closer to her but stopped as I felt something jab my side. I reached to the floor and grabbed it. It was a scroll.

I heard the door open and I quickly moved back and slid the scroll under a small blanket behind me. The grizzly man came in picked Hana up. Hana! I screamed in my head. How could I just let them take my Uindo? I mean take Hana? But honestly, there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I watched helplessly as they picked up her body. Her eyes darted open and looked straight at me. She started to struggle in his grasp. Hana, if only I could help you.

* * *

_(Hana)_

I opened my eyes to see Kakashi. Why was Kakashi here? My eyes darted around the room. Then that means...! I struggled in the grasp that held me. It did little good though. I already knew who ever held me was strong because I'd killed two more of their men in my trap. Then was stopped. So obviously they knew better than to just leave me in any ones arms. The man turned and started to walk out of the cell. I watched Kakashi in fear. What was going to happen to him?

I barely noticed him pull something out of a blanket and he opened it. It was a scroll! I glanced at my side where I put the scroll I had written the day prior. It wasn't there. Oh no. I gasped. That means...I looked at Kakashi again. His face was emotionless, unlike it had been seconds prior. Oh no.

Oh no. Oh no.

This was extremely bad.

That scroll was not supposed to ever be seen! It was supposed to be burned! It was just a way to get my mind off of all that.

This was totally out of character for me to say such a thing...such a crude word...but at the moment it was the only one that came to mind.

I'm so fucking screwed.

* * *

A/N: I don't want Kakashi to seem weak because he got captured so easily by the ninja that Hana took out. It wasn't that he was weak, but that he was utterly distracted. Hana wrote down the note so she wouldn't make the same mistake. Because honestly, in a fight, Kakashi would probably win. Hope you enjoyed it!


	9. Leaving Captivity

This chapter is dedicated to hippielicious

who demanded I write it. And who also motivated me to keep going.

Thanks a million!

Enjoy!

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

**Chapter Nine**

_(Hana)_

After going down many dimly lit hallways, the man dropped me. My body pulsed with pain as he dropped me down onto the stone floor. I shivered because of the cold before looking up. There was a large...large as in very fat...man. He chuckled darkly and the person that oddly reminded me of grizzly bears stood next to me. I also noticed two ninja at the door.

"Tell me the code to get into the Hokage's library," the man said. The Hokage's library wasn't just any library. It was a room where Hokage's put down all of their research in to books. All of them back to the first Hokage. It had knowledge that no one should be able to have. Such a large amount of knowledge could be a downfall to the whole fire nation.

"I don't know it."

"Really?" he said motioning to the big guy. I looked over at him, knowing he was about to sock me. I could imagine the pain going through my body—the blood pouring from my mouth. But even though I could see myself in so much pain I didn't fear it—not nearly as much as I feared going back into that cell with Kakashi. Just to see his face.

Right then was where I would want to die. I ignored the new pain on my face. I ignored the crimson liquid that I had to spit from my mouth. I ignored the man that was constantly trying to get information from me. Because the only thing on my mind was Kakashi. I didn't care what these people did to me because that kind of physical pain could not hurt nearly as much as the pain I had just recently received. I sighed, ignoring more pain being inflicted on me. Honestly, the room was just a fuzzy blur now.

I am in love with Kakashi Hatake.

What did I get myself into?

* * *

They threw my blood stained body down onto the floor of the cell. Why must they be so violent? I mentally sighed. Then I brought my head up to look at Kakashi. He was sitting in the corner of the room. The scroll wasn't in his hands. Maybe it wasn't that scroll. Maybe he grabbed another one? I could've lost my scroll when I was fighting!

"Hana." No such luck. That's what I thought until I noticed I really did want him to know that. I wanted him to know how I truly felt. I gulped.

"Yes?" I said weakly. Kakashi carefully crawled over to me. I was lying on my back but slightly leaning to my side. He came close to me. I could feel his body heat and I wanted so badly to reach out and pull him closer to me. However, I knew that was impossible for two reasons: 1) Our relationship was a mess and 2) I couldn't move.

"I read the scroll," he said almost in a whisper. I bit my lip. "Honestly, I had no idea how to react to it. I was so confused. Then I noticed that when you were gone in there with them I got so worried. I wasn't worried about me or how I was going to get out of this. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to see you again. I was worried earlier that I wouldn't be able to tell you that I didn't hate you." He paused. "I thought I was in love with Uindo but I noticed that I wasn't. The whole time I was in love with you, Hana. I was in love with the you that you let seep through when you were sad or free." He reached out and brought my body close to his. I was smothered into his warm body.

"So please forgive me, Hana. I never hated you. Ever. I love you." I love you. Those words are so bitter yet sweet. Tears stung at my eyes and even though I wanted to keep them in I let them fall.

"I..." my throat burned, "love you too."

"I know we might not get out of this and might die here, and I know it's wrong for a ninja to feel emotion. But Hana, I love you and I want to stay married to you. I care neither for my status in Konoha nor my life. Only for you." I brought my arms to his, barely able to move his. Then I brought my head into his chest. I love him. I love him. I love him

God only knows how much I love him.

"I love you," I said out loud not caring that it burned every inch of my throat. "I love you so much. I love you. I love you." He chuckled, not darkly like all the others I've heard in the past forty-eight hours. It was pure. It was beautiful.

"I love your voice," he said to me wiping my eyes.

"I love your chuckle," I responded. This was all new for me. I'm not sure how well my brain was keeping up with this. One day I'm calling him Mr. Hatake and afraid to look at him, then the next day I'm in his arms as we confess our love. How odd.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the sun was back up. I groaned and rolled to the side. I suddenly stopped and looked around me. I was all alone. Where was Kakashi? That couldn't have been a dream! Could it have been? I hoped not. Oh gosh, if that was a dream. The door opened and Kakashi was thrown in. He was in horrible condition. I could tell just by looking at him. He didn't move after being thrown down. Even after about five minutes. I wasn't sure if it was a dream or not and there was no way I was going to make our relationship even worse if it was just a dream.

A beautiful dream that felt so real.

So I just stood there feeling helpless.

"What no welcome back? I'm glad you're still alive?" Kakashi mumbled. I quickly went over to him. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I was so afraid that yesterday was just a dream," I told him.

"It wasn't," he told me.

"What proof do you have?" I asked him.

"This," he said before kissing me. "And this and this..." he said kissing me again and again.

"I believe you," I breathed.

"Are you sure?" he said. "I can keep trying to convince you."

"What are we going to do?" I asked him looking to the door. He kept staring at my lips.

"About what?" he mumbled.

"We're stuck here. We need to do something."

"I agree," he said before standing up. I watched him carefully. We were so energy depleted. When he stood he walked over to the door. Then, as I had expected, he fell backward. I stood and caught him before he could touch the ground and hurt himself further.

"I don't think you're in any shape to be playing hero," I said to him.

"And I don't think a hero would let the damsel in distress save him," he replied.

"Damsel in distress? I am not!" I said and he chuckled.

"I was kidding."

"I figured," I said before chuckling. Then he stood up out of my arms and went back to the door.

"Kakashi you really shouldn't-" I stopped as he activated a jutsu. In his hand a large ball like thing with lightning started to appear. The lighting struck random places around it. I just stared widely at the technique.

What was that?

"Hana, please move," he said and I snapped out of the trance I was in. I stood to the side against the wall. He then ran and thrust the lightning like thing in his hand into the wall. A large whole appeared in the wall.

Wow.

"Hurry," he said to me. I went to him before he suddenly stopped.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I never thought of a plan." I sighed.

"Oh well," I said shrugging. Then we ran out of the place.

* * *

"And we thought injuring you and draining your chakra would keep you under control," a man said appearing in front of us. He pulled a large sword of his back. The man's muscles were built. His long black hair blew in the breeze and he smiled sadistically.

Kakashi moved swiftly. He pushed me behind him gently and stood ready to fight. Did he still see me as the pathetic little tomboy like he had so long ago? Who am I kidding…I still am the pathetic little girl that I was. My ninja skills haven't really improved at all.

In the blink of an eye Kakashi and the man were gone. Their weapons clashed; the man's sword and Kakashi's kunai. This was not going to end well. Kakashi was low on chakra. Even I could tell that. He was also beat up badly.

"Missed," the dark haired man said before swinging his sword around behind his back and hitting Kakashi's back with it. "Kakashi" disappeared and the real Kakashi came down from the sky. He brought his kunai down on the man but the man blocked with his sword. Kakashi had used a shadow clone.

I knew I had to involve myself into this fight. I knew if I didn't Kakashi would die. Why did it seem that his life was always on the line? See this is a lesson; don't fall in love with someone, especially if they live a dangerous life. The man's sword connected with Kakashi's shoulder and Kakashi turned toward me.

"Get out of here!" Kakashi yelled to me. Is he crazy? How am I supposed to just leave—I can't do it! I can't watch this. I will die first. Am I going crazy? I think I already have. I bit my lip; Kakashi was losing blood at a rapid rate. The man nicked Kakashi's lower arm, just below his elbow.

The man laughed sadistically before swiping again at Kakashi. Kakashi looked over at me. I saw something new in his eyes. It was something I couldn't describe in a million years. He glanced at me once before he fell to the ground, unconscious. Was my lip bleeding? I could taste the salty metal taste in my mouth.

"Here goes nothing," I said to myself; forming hand signs at an extraordinary speed. I pushed my hands out toward Kakashi and a blue shield of chakra surrounded him. Then I put a genjutsu over him and made him disappear. The big man looked over at me.

"Only one left," he said with a smirk on his face. At least he counted me as one. I dodged to the right when his sword went to slice me in half from above. I quickly formed hand signs and put a genjutsu over the both of us.

It was raining—no, it was pouring. The man leaped to attack me. I bit my lip—I need to get out of that habit. This time he side swiped and I had to duck to dodge it. I ducked to the left and grabbed his arm as he was completing the swing.

I grabbed his hairy, icky, arm with my left hand and did hand signs with my right. A blue circular shield went on his arm. However, since I didn't make it big enough for his whole body to fit in—which I had done on purpose—it sliced his arm at the two points the chakra shield hit. When I say sliced, I mean decapitated. His arm lay on the ground. I brought my hand to my mouth to stop vomit from coming up.

The man looked at his arm in shock. He lifted his head and glared at me; new found anger in his eyes. I wondered if medic nins could sew it back on? Not that I cared. I was about to do something utterly disgusting and I new I was going to regret it. The man lifted his sword with his other arm and began to sprint toward me, yelling like a wild animal.

I sprinted toward the man as he sprinted to me and I formed a one handed hand sign with my right hand as my left hand reached out to the man's chest. The blue chakra bubble-like shield formed. It formed right around the man's beating heart. Against my better judgment I looked at the man's face. His face held shock and fear. I couldn't help feel bad for what I had just done. As fast as lightning, the man exploded; casting blood everywhere in a twenty yard radius.

I closed my eyes tight, but still felt my stomach wrench. The little food that I had eaten in the past twenty-four hours ended up on the ground in front of me. I was on my hands and knees as I threw it up. My throat and my head burned; my headache from a few days ago came back.

I stood carefully; nauseated. I made my way over to Kakashi slowly. His body was blood covered. Not because of the man's body exploding—no, this was all Kakashi's blood. My breath caught in my throat and I forgot how to breathe. What would I do…how could I…if Kakashi die? I leaned down to hear his heart beat. It was erratic and brisk.

I couldn't stop myself and I didn't even notice I did it. I cried. I've already lost so much. I've lost so many people, so many things, so many dreams. How could I live with losing Kakashi too?

I took a deep breath through the tears and studied him closely. I could try to put a shield over his heart by mixing my chakra with his chakra. But that would be exceedingly dangerous. I would have to put a lot of chakra in to it, and if I didn't mix the chakras just right then he would die...either by putting too much of my chakra, making it so his heart stopped, or by putting to little of my chakra, making his heart explode.

I took another cavernous breath before I started to mold the chakra. I would never forgive myself if I did this wrong. Just a slip of my hand and Kakashi could die. I hated this kind of pressure.

"…I don't think a hero would let the damsel in distress save him," I said repeating what Kakashi had told to me just a little while ago. "Let's just hope you're wrong, Kakashi."

* * *

A/N: Again with Kakashi looking weak. He's not. It'll explain more later on (: haha

P.S. A shorter chapter but I felt like that was a good line to end it with.


	10. Tenten

Double digits!

When I first typed up this chapter it had 4,444 words.

Which is awesome because 4 is my lucky number!

So that means this chapter is lucky...right?

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

**Chapter 10**

"Hina-san?" the voice repeated.

"Hm?" I said as I slowly opened my eyes. Why was someone calling my name?

"You may see Kakashi-san now." I leaped out of my chair and went into Kakashi's room. He had different cords sticking into him. I looked toward where he was hurt. It was all bandaged with layers and layers of bandages.

"Hey," Kakashi said. I looked up at him and smiled.

"How are you doing?" I asked going toward the chair in the corner and pulling it up next to his bed.

"I've been better," he said. I chuckled before I lay my head on his bed.

"I really thought I was going to lose you," I told him.

"Lose me?" he asked before slowly moving a hand over to my head. "You'll have to do a lot more than that to get rid of me."

"Han—mom!" Naruto said bursting through the door and holding me in a tight hug. I lifted my head and hugged him back.

"Hey Naruto," I said to him. Five minutes later, he was still latching on, and I was trying to push him off. Pushing off a sixteen year old boy is hard. I gave up and started pushing my fingers through his hair like a comb.

"When is the last time you brushed your hair?" I asked as one of my eye brows twitched. Naruto looked upward as if he was in deep thought. Perhaps he was.

"I don't know," he told me in a certain way that said it didn't matter. When I looked around I noticed he was right. Out of everything that had happened in the last while I was flustered over his hair not being brushed? That's when something hit me. To anyone looking in on this room that didn't know better it would seem that we are a family. Father, mother, and son. Don't ask me about how black hair and silver hair make a blond haired child. Perhaps they assumed it was in our genes from our parents?

Another thing hit me—and it hit hard. Legally, we were a family. Kakashi and me being Naruto's adopted parents. I wonder how Kakashi will handle it if I tell him. Naruto let go of me and looked toward Kakashi.

"Aw, man!" he complained. Kakashi's eyes went to him. "Now training is going to be on hold till you are better, won't it?" I laughed at how simple minded Naruto could be. That should be the least of his worries. I fumbled with the bottom of my shirt as I sat there and Kakashi's eyes went back to me. I knew that he could tell that I was nervous.

"Kakashi, I kind of…adopted Naruto under our names...as….as…um…parents," I said. My voice broke as I got closer and closer to the end. My whole body was tense as I waited for him to reply. The room went completely quiet and Naruto stared between Kakashi and me. What will I do if he doesn't accept Naruto? What if he gets upset? Will he leave me again? If he says yes then how are we going to live? Will he—

"I know," he said with is eye closed in a smile. What! How? Kakashi read my body movement easily. "At least, I guessed as much." So he knew. He didn't really answer the question I asked without asking it. If he doesn't accept Naruto as his son, it won't matter. I will not leave Naruto because of this. I wouldn't. I loved Kakashi, yes, but I also loved Naruto (in a son-like way). How could I possibly choose one over the other? What if…what if—

"I presume the only question now is where we are all to live? Naruto's apartment is not big enough and would be…" he trailed off. He stopped saying what he was going to say. "My apartment is also too small." He was calculating in his head what we could do while I was jumping for joy in my head. I hugged Kakashi and he didn't complain even though I felt him flinch. His chest, I reminded myself.

"We can buy another…" I suggested quietly. Kakashi's eyes were locked with mine.

"That I believe would be the best idea. We can sell our apartments," Kakashi said agreeing with me.

"I love you," I told Kakashi as I kissed his chin. He chuckled and—with much effort—kissed my forehead.

"I love you too," he said quietly. I smiled up at him and he chuckled. I almost forgot Naruto was still in the room. He was so quiet. I looked over at where Kakashi's eyes went to. Naruto was standing there unmoving. His eyes were glazed over before he blinked and they went to their normal color. I didn't even think of Naruto rejecting Kakashi! Oh gosh, what if he doesn't want Kakashi to be his adoptive father? What if he doesn't want to leave his apartment? What if—

"Having Kakashi-sensei as my dad is going to be so weird!" he complained all of a sudden. I've been being cut off from my thoughts a lot lately. I sighed contently. "Does that mean I get special treatment?" Naruto grinned. "Wait till I tell everyone!" Naruto did a fist pump. I giggled at him. Sakura came in and was shocked at seeing us all in the room.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto said and went over to her. "Kakashi-sensei is my dad!" He jumped up and down while Sakura just stared. She ignored him as her pulled her arm every time he jumped. Snapping out of it, she looked at Kakashi.

"Your dad…?"

"I get to have special treatment now!" Naruto yelled in her ear. She punched him.

"Stupid! He won't give you special treatment! He's still your sensei!"

"Ow, Sakura-chan, you hurt my head," he complained. A vein appeared on her forehead. "Would you like to get me ramen to make it up to me?"

"Argh, Naruto!" She punched him again. "You idiot! You're the one giving me anger problems!"

"Then can I take you to get ramen to make it up to you?" he asked innocently.

"Huh?" she said as she stopped punching him.

"And you can even pay for it. It will be great!" Naruto said happily.

"Ugh! No!" Sakura turned around and stomped out of the room.

"But Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined as he followed her out of the room. I giggled looking up at Kakashi again. I stood up and got on the bed. I strattled Kakashi with a leg on each side of his body.

"Hey gorgeous," I said to him with a playful smirk on my face. "Can I kiss you?"

"Hmm," Kakashi said as he pretended to think. "With my mask on."

"Without the mask," I pouted; bringing my arms across my chest and pushing out my bottom lip. He smirked. I could tell by the wrinkles in his mask.

"You look sexy when you pout," he told me as his smirk stayed on his face.

"If you say so," I told him. I leaned down so I was inches from his face. "May I?" I motioned to the mask on his face.

"You may," he responded. I slowly brought my fingers up to the top of his mask. He trusts me, I thought as my hands shook. I gently started to pull on it.

"Mom!" Naruto burst in and I jumped, earning a grunt from Kakashi. I must have just crushed his aching body. Oops.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" I told Kakashi.

"I'm fine," he grunted out with clenched teeth.

"I'm going to the ramen bar with Sasuke and Sakura! I'll see you later!" Naruto yelled before shutting the door and running off. I leaned down to Kakashi again; my fingers going to his mask. As they pulled it down I shut my eyes. I kissed him softly on the lips. I trust him too. In that second life was utterly perfect. What can possibly ruin my happy mood? I thought as I kissed Kakashi again with a smile.

* * *

"How is this one?" Kakashi asked as he took a step inside the building.

"Oh, I like it! It's perfect!" I said before even looking at it. Any one would do. I'd take a shack at this moment. I obviously never thought that shopping for a house would be the one thing that could ruin my happy mood.

"You haven't even looked inside of it yet," Kakashi sighed.

"It's got a good environment," I countered. Kakashi gently pulled me inside behind him. I hate house shopping. Hate it. Die, house shopping! Ugh. Who would have thought that two boys could be so picky when it came to buying a house? Aren't girls supposed to be picky?

"I don't really like where it is, though," he said as they looked through the house. "I want something more away from Konoha; something almost out in the country but not in the country."

"I don't want a farm!" Naruto whined as he came into the room. I moved over into Kakashi's arms. He put them around me affectionately. I put my head into his chest.

"I want sleep," I whined. It became muffled by his strong chest.

"I think we're…" he drifted off looking down at me. I was feeling his chest with my hand. He had strong abs. Damn, he must have no fat on his entire body! I felt slightly jealous. "…almost done."

"Mom," Naruto said looking at us oddly. "What exactly are you doing?" I trailed my hands up his chest to his shoulders and put them around Kakashi's neck. I lifted to the tip of my toes and pulled his head down. I placed a small peck on his mask covered lips.

"I'm kissing Kakashi…what are you doing?" I asked casually. Kakashi chuckled.

"That's just weird," Naruto said before turning around and leaving the room.

"Can we just choose one yet?" I begged. Kakashi kissed my forehead.

"Can we check one more? I heard it's supposed to be very nice," he bargained.

"Does it have a garden?"

"Yes, two in the front and a vegetable garden in the back," he said knowing it would convince me.

"Alright, one more. Then you have to decide," I told him kissing the crook of his neck.

* * *

"It's perfect," Kakashi told me.

"It's fricken huge!" I complained. Kakashi laughed before kissing my head.

"It's not that big. We can afford it, anyways," he told me.

"It has four bedrooms. There is only three of us and I do not plan on having my own room." I felt very whiney today. Oh well.

"Does that mean I get three rooms?" Naruto yelled happily; clapping his hands together while jumping up and down.

"Why would you want three rooms?" I questioned.

"Why wouldn't I want three rooms?" he asked confused.

"Because you'll have to clean them."

"Aw!" Naruto complained. "I never even cleaned when I had one room!"

"We'll get a maid," Kakashi said into my ear very seductively let me add.

"I don't care. Let's get the house," I said skipping off with Kakashi in tow.

"I want the one closest to the ramen!" Naruto said while trying to decide on a room. Kakashi and I took the biggest room because we'd have to fit a king size bed in it.

"Why not the one closest to the door? Then you can go out easier. You won't have to go through the kitchen."

"True…I'll take that one then. It's colored orange too! It's fate!" An orange room? How odd.

"So…" Kakashi said pulling me into his arms from behind. "They already brought the bed in…we don't need to unpack anything…why don't we go and spend some time together?"

"That is one of the corniest pick up lines ever," I said smiling at him. He smiled under his mask. "I accept." He lifted me into his arms bridal style and carried me to our new room. Our. Mine and Kakashi's. Kakashi. My heart beat faster as I thought his name.

"I love you," I said as Kakashi set me down onto the bed.

"How silver-sweet sound lovers' tongues by night, Like softest music to attending ears!"

"Only the sound of your voice is music to my ears," I replied to him. He was quoting Romeo and Juliet. That was romantic yet frightening at the same time. I didn't want the same ending as them.

"I love you," Kakashi responded to me as he laid himself next to me in the bed. I brought my hands to his shirt and tugged on it. Kakashi laughed and helped me with taking it off. I traced his muscles with my fingers.

"You're so perfect…how do I deserve you?" I said quietly. Kakashi brought his hands under my chin and lifted it up so I was looking into his eyes.

"It is I that does not deserve you." He rolled to the side so he was above me. He lifted my shirt with his hands and brought his lips to mine.

"Ew! Ew, ew, ew! Double ew!" We both turned to see the door open with a wide eyed Naruto in the door way. Oops…Kakashi left out one little, tiny, molecular detail. He forgot Naruto was here.

"Um," Kakashi said as he looked down at me. "We were just trying something that I read in a book."

"Ew, those perverted books you read? I don't even want to know!" Naruto shut the door before shuffling away from the room and probably out of the house.

"I forgot about him," Kakashi admitted looking at the door. He's so out of it when he's around me, I thought. He loses focus and forgets simple things. Oh well, he was bound to walk in on it some day.

"Whatever," I said pulling his face to mine and kissing him. "Where were we?"

"Excited are we?" Kakashi teased.

"Quite. Will you kiss me already?" I pouted.

"If I have to," he complained as he brought his lips to mine. Jerk!

* * *

I wandered around the house with one of Kakashi's huge t-shirts on. Naruto and Kakashi were out training with Sakura. Apparently, from what Kakashi had told me earlier, they were getting a new member on their team. A member to replace Sasuke. I pulled a hand through my messy hair. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke…where are you? What if he is dead? I felt tears in my eyes and wiped them away with the sleeve of my borrowed shirt.

I wandered through the kitchen and sobbed when I saw a container of dumplings. I pushed the door of one of the spare rooms open. This would have been his room, I cried as I collapsed onto the bed. He would have slept here. He would have secretly cried here. He would have acted indifferent here. Maybe, just maybe, he might have opened himself up to me more. Maybe he would have let me help him. I snorted quite rudely. He always helped me, yet refused to let me try to help him. Had he never heard of fair? An eye for an eye? A tooth for a tooth?

I cried and brought my hands to my eyes. When was anything fair? When did anything turn out the way we wanted? I removed my hands and opened my eyes, staring at the ceiling. I was being ungrateful. I had the most amazing husband…and the most amazing son. I could have had two amazing sons, I bit my lip. This wasn't fair to Sasuke. Did he not deserve a family that loved him? Or did he want to leave? He is nothing like a criminal! He is secretly sweet, kind, caring, and loving!

Then why did he leave? I rubbed my eyes with my hand. If he had so much here that he loved, then why did he leave? Did he not like it here? I bit my lip again. Was it me? Did I annoy him? I sobbed loudly. I miss him so badly. Life is so cruel. It gives me Kakashi who is all I could ever ask for and more, and takes away my Sasuke. I cried myself into a dark sleep full of memories and regrets.

* * *

_(Sasuke)_

I opened my eyes to complete and utter darkness. Was this death? I put my arms behind me and tried to push myself to a sitting position, but my limbs were like noodles, so I fell back again. I left Hana and Naruto for this? For death? I sighed and hissed through my teeth as I felt pain ripping through my chest.

No, I left to get stronger. I left to be able to kill Itachi. I will kill him! Nothing can stand in my way. No friends. A memory flashed into my mind…

_"Sasuke!" Naruto said before throwing a kitchen knife at my back. I dodged it and grabbed the handle between two fingers. I then looked back at him and tossed it toward his head. "Eek!" Naruto ducked in time for it to miss him. Hana, who was standing behind Naruto, also squeaked before grabbing it between two fingers of the handle._

_"Watch it!" She yelled at us. "Someone could have been badly injured!"_

_"Aw," Naruto whined. "We didn't do any harm!"_

_"Don't talk back to an elder!" Hana complained before throwing the knife in Naruto's direction. He let out a yell before ducking again. I mentally laughed at the two, if you could call it that. I grabbed the knife and threw it back toward Naruto._

_"What? Why are you only throwing it at me?" Naruto shrieked. Naruto moved to the side and Hana caught it._

_"Seriously, though," Hana said putting it into the knife holder. "I wouldn't be able to stand it if either of you got hurt." I looked over at Naruto. He has no idea how lucky he is. He gets practically adopted by the best person in Konoha. He gets to stay with her. I sigh and rub my temples. I need to focus. Revenge is the most important thing. I'm an avenger._

…So stupid, I thought to myself as I tried to sit up again, only to hiss another time. Now I'm stuck in this damn place. Why didn't I just stay?

…

Who am I kidding? I don't give a fuck if this is hell. Nothing is standing in the way of my destiny. "Itachi," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm going to fucking kill you!"

* * *

_(Hana)_

"I'm home!" Kakashi's voice rang throughout the house. I looked up to see Kakashi strolling in with a droopy Naruto following closely behind. My face brightened at the sight of them. Naruto sank down beside me and I lifted my arm over his head and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Hey, squirt," I said as Naruto whined. Too exhausted to fight, he relaxed in my hold. I let his head fall to my lap, his eyes closing immediately. I raised my gaze to Kakashi who I knew had a smile under that mask of his. He kicked off his sandals and placed his vest in the coat closet near the door.

"Hana," he said as the side of his mouth curved up into a smirk. I patted the cushion beside me and he placed himself beside me, my body folding to fit his.

"Do you think he's okay?" I asked as I looked up at him. Long, dark nights. No care for his long-term health. Sasuke—so young and reckless—how could he be okay? His face stayed emotionless as he placed his chin on the top of my head.

"He's much stronger than you give him credit for," was his response. I sighed and ran my fingers through Naruto's golden colored hair, studying each strand.

"I know, Kakashi. I just feel like I missed something…like I could have stopped this." Kakashi brought his hand to my chin and lifted my face to his. A gasp caught in my throat, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Sasuke has to do what he has to do. Nothing in this world could have stopped him. But when the time comes, he will remember where home is." My lips molded to his for a split second before he pulled away and placed his lips to my forehead.

"You talk like such an old man, Kakashi." He laughed causing my body to shake against him.

"But I am, am I not? It's like one son is already out of the house, the other soon to follow." I looked down at Naruto and sighed.

"Don't remind me."

Knocking on the door made me awake from my trance-like state. Naruto's head shot up and hazy eyes darted across the room. I lifted myself and pulled him up by the arm. He followed me to his room where I left him to go to sleep. A girl's voice caught my attention.

"Kakashi-sensei?" The voice said. There was a patter coming from the droplets of rain on the ground outside.

"Hmm?" Kakashi's normal response for anything he didn't wish or know how to respond to.

"I-I didn't know where else to go. No one else…no one else is home or wants to speak with a girl of sixteen at this time." I entered the living room and saw a girl with caramel brown hair and matching chocolate colored eyes. Her eyes caught mine and I could see all the emotions hid behind them. Sure, I had no idea who the girl was. No name or person came to mind. But I knew why she was here.

"Come on in," I greeted as I wiped my hands on my skirt. The girl's breathing hitched and she flung herself into my open arms. "Sh, it's okay." Kakashi shut the door and—reading my expression—left to find a towel and change of clothes for the drenched girl and myself.

"I just…It…I…" she trailed off, unable to say what she was meaning to say. I rubbed her back in the embrace and shushed her.

"There's no need to tell me, dear. Just relax. Kakashi is getting some towels and clothes so you can hop into a warm shower. Okay?" She nodded, her longer wavy hair bobbling with her.

"Thank you so much," she said and took a deep breath. "My name is TenTen."

The next morning consisted of me trying to explain what happened the previous night to Naruto. Kakashi sat beside me while eating his cereal, not willing to join along. Tenten was still asleep in her room. Naruto's face went blank.

"I'm glad she came back here," he stated before lifting his weapon pouch. "I'm going to go train with Jiraiya." With that, he left the house and I sighed, plopping myself on the chair next to Kakashi.

"Good morning." I turned my head to see Tenten standing hesitantly at the door to the kitchen. Her hair was in a messy knot in the back and her borrowed clothes fit her surprisingly perfectly.

"Good morning, Tenten," Kakashi responded before standing and leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. I pulled my head up so he kissed me on the lips and giggled. He chuckled before taking his bowl to the sink and leaving the room.

"Are you up to shopping, Tenten?" I asked as I pulled down a clean bowl for her. She nodded and I motioned for her to come over. "What kind of cereal do you like?" She chose fruit loops and nodded in approval. After we ate, I sent her to her room with one of my spring dresses.

"I really don't feel comfortable in this," she said as she wouldn't leave the room.

"You look great, I promise!" I told her through the locked door.

"You can't see me. I look horrid." I sighed. I remember when I had such confidence issues.

Actually, I still do.

Hmm.

"Just let me see, and then I'll tell you my honest opinion."

"Promise?" I smile.

"Promise." The door opened slowly and there stood a girl only an inch or two shorter than me. Her eyes were still slightly red from the night before but her face was more calm and relaxed. Her hair was back up in those two buns.

"You're beautiful, girl!" I told her before pulling her into my room and sitting her down at my vanity. "Can I do your hair?" She nodded and her buns went up and down as she did. I chuckled. She's so cute. I pulled the two buns down and long brown locks fell down past her shoulders.

"I love your hair," I said as I pulled a brush through it. She thanked me and it became silent once again. When I finished brushing it I put it into two loose pigtails that hung down her back, allowing her wavy hair to be mostly free.

I could tell she was not used to wearing her hair down like this, even if it was not all the way down. None the less, she came with me to go shopping and did not offer even one complaint. We went to many clothes stores to pick up clothes for her. I had to fight her to buy a few dresses, but in the end she agreed to get the dresses if I agreed to take her to a weapons shop. I gave in.

Her whole expression changed as she walked into the small weapon store. I could tell this place was like home to her. She smiled as she ran her hand over the many weapons on the racks. Just then, a boy came around the corner. "Can I help you?"

"Eiji!" Tenten called. She ran over to him and hugged him. Who is this? He smiled and hugged her back. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well. My dad is in the back if you want to order some specialty weapons," he replies, his brown hair just past his ears.

"Oh no, I just wanted to pick up some ordinary ones," she said and looked over at me. "Eiji this is Hana. Hana, this is Eiji."

"Nice to meet you, Eiji," I said before walking over to the weapons. They sure brought back memories.

"You too, Hana." I browsed through the many weapons as Tenten talked with her friend. He seemed nice. I put my head to my hand. I miss Kakashi. The little voice in the back of my head was telling me that I had gotten far too attached, but I ignored it. I love him; that weird, perverted, old-acting man. Gosh, I love him so much.

* * *

A/N: This is sorta following the series of Naruto right after Sasuke leaves only they're a few years older. So if you don't want spoilers, then don't read. Sorry!


	11. Worry Wart

Most of you have probably not realized that this story has hit _100 _pages.

That may not be a big achievement to some people, but this is the furthest I've ever gotten.

So anyways, it's a big deal to me haha. Enjoy the chapter, even though it's a bit short.

I eventually have to get to my list of many essays I have to write.

Ugh.

Enjoy!

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

**Chapter Eleven**

Tenten quickly changed her clothes when she got home, happy to be out of the dress. I laughed, she'll get used to them eventually. When she came back in she was wearing a long sleeved fishnet shirt under a loose shouldered short sleeve shirt with a tighter stomach area. It's hard to explain, but you get the main idea. She was also wearing a pair of black colored shorts that showed off her tanned legs. Now how come she was self-conscious when she was wearing a dress but she is perfectly fine wearing shorts? I laughed.

The days went by quickly, I was mostly happy, but ever so often Sasuke would be on my mind. Tenten became more comfortable with dresses, but still hated them. Sakura dropped by every once in a while, but she hadn't been the same since Sasuke left. Heck, I hadn't been the same since Sasuke left. Kakashi left his place on the anbu squad—again—and was now working as a jounin sensei. He'll be getting a new set of kids soon. I am quite excited, but him, not so much.

I found out that one of the funniest things is watching Tenten and Naruto interact. Tenten is pretty cool-headed until Naruto gets on her nerves. We've had a lot of deep discussions and I learned a lot about Tenten. She's a weapons expert but she hates it. She doesn't want to be limited to it, so she gave it up. She has been working with both Jiraiya and Tsunade to broaden her expertise. She is the only child of a very rich yet not well-known family.

The night she arrived at our door, her clan had been murdered. It was not much of a task for her clan was small. But her clan's expertise made it hard to believe that they were wiped out. Tenten had survived on a whim, still not understanding why. The dark figure that leaned over her was about to strike, but instantly froze.

"What is your name?" he had asked. She found it hard to speak, but managed to breath out her name. "Well then, Tenten, I expect to hear more of you." He then disappeared and Tenten wakes up many times in the night. Everyone in the house knows it but only I comfort her when she awakes. Kakashi and Naruto both respected her privacy.

Naruto had been doing well. He was talking about taking a long trip with Jiraiya but I quickly refused. I was not about to lose another son. His hair has grown out quite a bit; he talked about cutting it, but then was too lazy to go through with it. I kind of like it long though—it's handsome. Both he and Tenten have been recently promoted to jounin.

I offered to adopt Tenten, but she kindly refused. She wanted to keep her clan name and gain the respect that was always supposed to be there, but never was. Kakashi understood and agreed with her on the spot. It took me a bit longer to understand. She reminded me of Sasuke at times and it freaked me out—a lot.

Naruto dated a few girls and that was awkward…especially when they met the family. Naruto had turned into quite the ladies man! I plopped myself on the bed and rubbed my weary eyes. I think too much. Just then Kakashi walked in and laid himself beside me. "You're thinking too much again."

"Am not!" I objected. Kakashi chuckled before trailing his hand over my forehead.

"Those worry wrinkles are going to become permanent if you don't stop," he said. I tried to relax my face but gave up.

"You're so mean to me! Why do I put up with you?" I joked with him. He laughed and rolled himself on top of me.

"Because you love me," he accused me. I sighed.

"I do." He pulled off his mask and planted a kiss on my lips.

"I love you, too—even if you are a worry wart." I groaned as he kissed me again. See what I have to put up with?

* * *

March 20th: the first day of spring, when the flowers start to show and the cold vanishes from sight. It also happens to be my birthday. My thirtieth birthday. Oh gosh, I'm old. I put my hands to my face. How did I get so old so fast? Thirty years old! I'm granny material! Not quite, but the "big 3-0" is when I'm supposed to start counting backward. Wait, does that mean I say I'm twenty-nine today or start counting backward next year? Eek, I can't do this!

"Hana." I peeked through my hands to see Kakashi. He was on his side with his hand propping up his head. He had a playful smirk on his face as he watched me embarrass myself without even noticing. My face was bright scarlet.

"Yes?" I squeaked out. He brought his thumb to my forehead and rubbed it soothingly. It was very nice—until he breathed out, "Worry wart."

I playfully slapped him and turned my back to him. He laughed and put his arms around my form. I sighed contently. That was until I remember the matter at hand. "I'm such an old lady." Kakashi laughed at me and I pushed out my lower lip; pouting.

"My father was thirty when he died." My breathing hitched. Kakashi talked about his past so rarely, it made me cherish the moments he would speak of it. Though, most of the time, his stories were sad and lead to unstoppable awkwardness and depression to the both of us. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect anymore.

"I'm sorry," I told him as I rubbed his hands that were around my form. He sighed and brought one hand to his forehead, to rub his temples.

"No, I'm sorry. It's your birthday and here I am talking about death," he said as he tried to place a smile on his face. I sighed and turned to face Kakashi.

"I guess I'm not so bad because you're half a year older than me, you old fart," I said trying to change the subject to something less painful for Kakashi. His face stayed blank for a few moments. He was still stuck in the past, I could tell.

"What would you like for your birthday?" he asked when he awoke from his flashback. I smiled as I brought my hands up to cup his face and kiss him tenderly on the lips.

"I already got my birthday wish."

"May I give you another?"

"Certainly—as long as it isn't a hassle," I replied, unable to read his expression. He lifted himself off the bed and pulled lightly on my hand for me to follow. I allowed him to pull me up and when I did he went to one knee. This feels familiar, I thought remembering the night at the party.

"I want to have an official wedding. I know we are married and that most—if not all—of Konoha already knows. But I want to go up on that alter with you and have the whole fire country know." Kakashi's serious moments were few, but they were the most wholesome moments ever. My heart beet in an unsteady pitter-patter and my voice was unable to find a way out of my throat.

Oh Kakashi, I don't deserve you. I never have—we both know that. That would be the best birthday present that anyone in the world could ask for. I wanted to speak all these words and lovey-dovey sayings that floated into my mind; however, my voice was still not found, so I simply nodded with, what was possibly, the cheesiest grin ever.

**…**

Next thing I knew Ino, Tsunade, and Shizune were around me, planning, planning, and more planning. Who ever knew a wedding was so much work? They would ask me questions like what colors I wanted for the table clothes. Who had ever heard of bright ube? Buff? Celadon?

"Celadon is a soft green with a tint of blue," Shizune informed me. I groaned. What ever happened to prime colors?

"How about we just use white?" I suggested. All three girls whipped their heads in my direction.

"White?" They shrieked. What's wrong with white? That's a wedding color, right?

"That's so boring!" Ino whined.

"Definitely not a color fit for the son of the White Fang and a daughter of the Nakamura family," Tsunade said in disapproval. I bet Kakashi would agree with me, darn it! Where did that man go anyways?

"What kind of flowers would you like to hold during the procession?" Shizune asked me. Procession?

"Daisies," I said and Shizune raised an eye brow.

"Daisies?" Ino questioned.

"Daisies," I said without falter. It's my wedding. Seriously! Tsunade shrugged and Shizune wrote it down.

"Did someone just call my name?" I asked no one in particular. I turned around and did a one eighty, pretending to actually try to find out. "I'll be right back, hubbie calls!" I practically sprinted out of my living room to my room, where I slid my back down the door and landed on my bottom. I'm going to have worry wrinkles by the end of all this. Kakashi used to think I stressed a lot, now he knows just how little I stressed compared to how much I can stress.

I heard chuckling and raised my head. Kakashi was sitting on the edge of the bed, having the gall to laugh at my current state of frustration! "Kakashi Hatake!" I screamed and bolted from the ground. "No hassle? No hassle? What ever happened to prime colors?"

When I jumped up I ended up pushing Kakashi on his back and now I was hovering over him, pounding my fists into his chest—well toned chest, might I add. "Woah, settle," Kakashi replied. I made an odd grunt-groan out of frustration, throwing my hands in the air. "Ugh!"

After that, I broke down into tears and cuddled to Kakashi's chest. "I can't take this stress," I balled. "It's just too much. I-I need a long nap. Can't we just skip to the honeymoon?" He laughed and put his arms around me, pushing me down on the bed beside him.

"If you really don't want to, we don't have to go through with this," he whispered in my ear. The hairs on my back raised and I completely forgot about the guests right outside of our house. I brought my hand to Kakashi's face and trailed my finger down from his ear, to his jaw, and stopped at his lips.

"Can't we just take a short break?" I asked and Kakashi laughed, pulling a hand through his hair that I loved so much.

"We could…" he didn't have to say it twice. I put my hands to his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles. My lips went up to meet his and they brushed, his breath tickling mine when he spoke, "but we have people right outside." I jerked upward.

"The guests!" How could I have forgotten? I blushed a deep red and looked over at Kakashi. Amusement was clearly shown on his face. My accusing eyes met his chuckling eyes. "You couldn't warn me? I could've embarrassed myself!"

"You were so wrapped up in it…I didn't want to burst your bubble too soon." I glared daggers at him.

"Fine, you can sleep on the couch. Get! Go!" I mumbled as I tried to push him off the bed. Clearly, neither of us cared that it wasn't even night time yet. Kakashi's face remained amused.

"You'll have to make me, dearest," he told me and I scoffed.

"Oh no you didn't," I said as I narrowed my eyes and stood off the bed. "Hell hath no furry like a woman's scorn!" And with that I left the room and stomped my way to the kitchen, where stood a hungry Naruto sneaking down large quantities of ramen. He froze when he saw me, stray noodles hanging out of his mouth. My mood perked up instantly. Gosh, the boy's like my personal sunshine.

"Naruto, what color do you think the table cloths should me?" It took him a minute to register that I wasn't screaming at him. My, I must be bipolar. Ugh. When it registered he slurped in his noodles and a big, cheesy grin grew onto his face.

"Orange!"

Orange it is, I thought as I stomped out the door.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

She must be on her period, I sighed as she stomped out of the door of the house. Jeesh, if this is her on her period then I don't even want to see her pregnant! He could imagine her thirty feet tall, stomping around Konoha, destroying everything in her path.

"I said orange, damn it! It's my wending! If I say orange, then it's as hell going to be orange!" Kakashi sighed again as he lifted himself from the bed to follow after Hana before she could cause any permanent damage.

**…**

"What's got your panties in a bundle?" I asked Hana when I got close enough to her. Her face grew a dark red and she whispered back, "They're not in a bundle…"

"Ah, it's an expression," I whispered back. Then I turned my attention to the three women who were currently making my wife's life hell.

"She said orange—"

"But!" The three screeched.

"It better be orange…for your sake." And with that, I brought my moody wife and myself into the house to finally be left in peace.

"It's going to orange? For real?" Naruto squealed in a high pitch. So much for peace and quiet.

"Naruto, shut up!" Tenten screamed from her room.

"Don't 'shut up' me!"

"Really? Cause I just did!" I sighed.

"Oh. you didn't."

"Oh, I did." Hana sighed.

"Oh, you're going to pay."

"Psh, I want to see you try." The three woman outside sighed.

"Watch me!"

"Psh." Something exploded in the room next to us.

"Take that!"

"That was nothing!" Hana and I looked at each other, both wanting the other to go stop the fight. After a few moments of just staring aimlessly at each other we both shrugged.

"A little fighting is good for them," I said as I laid myself down and Hana followed.

"Mmhm, it's just like training," Hana agreed.

"I just wish they could train quietly," I said as another crash, followed by an explosion, was heard.

"Gosh, what the neighbors must think of us!" Hana squeaked and brought her hands to her face, turning red again.

Ah, cute, I thought as I pulled her into my arms.

* * *

_(Sasuke)_

Bodies—all around me. Men, women, children—_so many_. I looked down at my hands. I did _this_? I saw the blood splattered aimlessly around the open field. What am I becoming? I'm a monster. I leaned over to the side, placing a hand on my stomach, and threw up my stomach's contents.

Is this all really worth it—all these lives? Do they have families somewhere, just waiting for them? Families that will never see them again? I kept one hand on my mouth and one on my stomach, ready to lurch again. Even though I knew my stomach was already completely empty.

Is this really what I wanted to be so badly—an avenger? In the end will everything I left behind and every person I killed be worth it? Be worth one man, one criminal?

I'm turning into _him_, I thought as my eyes widened.

* * *

A/N: Anyone notice the summary of the story in this chapter? heheh.


	12. The Rain

Hello (:

So i had this whole long speech for you all, but then my computer erased it all. Seriously, this thing hates me.

Anyways, I got a new laptop so I apologize beforehand for any typos. The keyboard is much smaller and it does not have spell check at the moment.

Thank you everyone who reviewed!

I love each and every one of you.

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

**Chapter Twelve**

"Owee!" I whined as yet another paper felt it had the right to cut my skin in half. I know! What gall these stupid two-timing envelopes had! Kakashi sighed.

"Let me see it," he said as he put his hand out.

"No! It hurts!" I complained. He sighed as he took my hand and inspected it. He pulled out a tub of band-aids and placed one over the cut.

"All better?"

"No," I said as I glared at the envelopes. I hate wedding invitations! "Do we really need to invite all these people?"

"They'll invite themselves no matter what we do, Hana."

"Exactly why we shouldn't invite them."

"Then they'll whine about us not inviting them," Kakashi explained. "It's a very sentimental process."

"Why don't you just make a million clones and do all of them yourself?" I said, still pouting and holding my boo-boo.

"Because every time one of them would get a paper cut, it'd disappear," he licked an envelope. "I'd have to keep making them."

"It sounds like a good idea to me," I said as I picked up an envelope and carefully placed a darling letter inside. "There—my work here is done."

"Hey, you can't leave me here. It's your wedding too." I grinned as I stood up and looked down at him.

"Uh-huh, but you're the one who wanted the wedding." With that I left the disaster of a living room and entered the kitchen. For once Naruto wasn't in the kitchen stuffing his face with ramen. What is he doing? I decided to open the fridge and stare at its contents. Ah, he's on a date with someone, I remembered. A double date, if I remembered correctly.

"We have nothing to eat!" I complained to Kakashi. I heard him sigh. Man, that man can sigh loud. Haha.

"Stop complaining, woman!"

"It's not my fault I'm pms-ing!"

Another sigh.

Fine then, I'm going out to get something to eat. And whose money am I going to spend? Kakashi's obviously. I'll use up the entire wallet. Hah. I want to see what his face looks like when he finds out.

Sweet victory is mine!

_

* * *

(Naruto)_

This. Is. So. Boring. I may just stab myself. I was sitting at a table with Sakura, Ino, and Sai. For what? A double date. Worst. Double. Date. EVER.

"So…" Ino said trying to start some discussion. "The food's nice."

"Yeah, I can tell by the way you devoured it, Ino-pig," Sakura responded. I sighed. I liked Sakura, I really did. But she's a horrible date. She keeps trying to pick fights with Ino. Sai isn't even bothering talking. He's looking at something over there. What's over there?

"Shut up, bill-board-brow," Ino spat back.

"You shut up, Oinkers."

"Ugh!" I said. I've had enough. "Both of you shut up! You're so annoying!" That got Sai's attention. He stood up, an umbrella in his hand.

"Fine then!" Sakura whined and looked over at Sai. "It's raining. My hair is not getting wet. I don't care if you're Ino's date. You're walking me home." With that she darted out with an emotionless Sai following her. Seriously, he gives me the creeps.

"Am I really annoying?" Ino asked. I looked over at her. We were the only two left.

"Only when you're with Sakura." It was the honest truth.

"Oh," she said as she stood up. I followed. "She just grates on my nerves."

"Heh," I said as we were standing just outside of the dumpling shop. Raining was an understatement. More like pouring or hailing raid drops. I looked over at Ino, her mood grew dim at the sight of the rain. Sakura complained about it hurting her hair or something.

"Here," I said handing out my jacket to her. "You can put it over your head. It's waterproof so it won't mess up your precious hair." Her eyes grew big and her jaw dropped.

"Really?" She said as she took it.

"Yeah, just give it back later sometime."

"Okay…" She hesitated and I turned back to her. "Or you could walk me home. I can give it back to you when we get there." I shrugged.

"Sure," I replied and she put the jacket over her head. The rain was refreshing as it pelted on my skin. So relaxing.

"I don't see why you like the rain so much. It just makes my hair frizzy," Ino said as she saw my happy face.

Heh?

"Because it feels good," I said and her face remained confused. "Haven't you ever just enjoyed the rain?"

"Uh, no," she stated obviously. "That's why I asked you, idiot."

"Here," I said offering her my hand. "Dance with me."

**

* * *

**

_(Ino)_

Dance with him?

Did he seriously just ask me to dance with him?

He's crazy! I looked around us. No one was outside because of the pouring rain. We were in the middle of a practically deserted street. But my hair! It will be gross later. Like super gross. I won't be able to go out in public. And will have to do it all over again.

"Come on," Naruto urged. "It's not like your hair'll fall out or somethin'."

Ah, what the hell! I dropped the jack off of my head and wore it properly. Burr.

"It's cold," I complained as he put my hand in his. His hands are so big. So warm. So callused, I noticed. You really can't tell that he's gone through so much…unless you feel his hands.

"Heh," Naruto snorted. Was that the right word for it? It wasn't unattractive. It was almost…almost…almost really attractive. He began spinning me around in circles.

It's nice. I like this, I thought as he spun me and a smile fluttered to my face. I giggled when my feet spun off of the ground and he continued to spin me. Then he caught me in his arms like a baby.

My breath got caught in my throat.

Endless blue.

An endless sea of emotions. Of kindness, of hurt. A whole story, right there in his eyes.

He's so wounded. He's beating himself up for not being able to bring Sasuke back…for letting Hana down, for letting Sakura down. He's mad at himself for not being strong enough. He thinks it's his fault Sasuke left.

Oh, Naruto.

I brought my hands to tanned face, pushing his damp hair away from the endless ocean of his eyes. Naruto stopped breathing, his full attention on me. Our eyes are connected, we're just staring into each other's eyes.

I wonder what he sees, I thought. What does he think of me? Could he ever like me as much as his beloved Sakura? I bit my lower lip. So much pain. How can he act so happy when he's so sad on the inside?

Naruto…

I lifted myself up and touched my lips to his. They didn't collide. They brushed. The sweetness of his dessert meeting my lips. His lips are so soft. I pulled away and looked at him, afraid of his response. He likes Sakura. I shouldn't have done that. Ugh, I'm such a big jerk!

"Heh," I looked up at Naruto, he had a smirk on his face. "That was my first kiss."

Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!

"Well, if you don't count when I kissed Sasuke when in the academy." Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that. I chuckled at his statement.

"It wasn't my first kiss," I responded honestly to him. I've had tons of boyfriends, tons of kisses. But none were as sweet as that one.

"I know," he laughed. "I'm sorry it wasn't Sasuke." Oh my gosh. He actually thinks I'd rather kiss Sasuke? The bastard? Uh, no. It was a huge crush, I won't lie. But I'm so over it.

"No, I wanted to kiss you." A grin formed on Naruto's face.

"See? The rain s'not so bad."

"No…" I agreed. "It's not so bad."

...not with you.

* * *

_(Tenten)_

Pain surged through my body, my legs collapsing from underneath me. I bit my lip to keep back tears.

_Damn, it hurts so badly._

I placed my hands behind me and attempted to push myself up. No such luck. I huffed out a puff of air and sighed, giving up.

"You trained too hard," Neji's voice spoke above me. I looked up to be met with clear, emotionless eyes.

"Not enough," I mumbled. "I need to train my body to hold up better." I pushed myself up quickly, before my sore muscles could resist. Neji sighed, his hands on his hips. A few months ago I would have laughed at him—at him standing like _that._

But that was then and this is now.

"You're working yourself too hard…" he said, inspecting my self-inflicted injuries. "Your chakra stem is damaged." I knew he was watching me closely. He has always been like a protective mother hen.

_Mother._

"Back off Neji," I said as I pushed him out of my way, "stop trying to be my mother." Another sigh escaped his lips and I bit back the desire to turn and face him, to see the look on his face.

"I miss you, Tenten…" I paused, surprised that he lowered to _this. _Sure, he had been warning me about this…but he doesn't usually go as far as becoming personal with me. I have known Neji since I was out of dipers. We could read each other so easily, sometimes it was to the point of scary. "Not this you—_you, _you." I turned to him, him suddenly being much closer than he was before.

I gasped.

"You're more vulnerable now. Before you would have never let anyone sneak up behind you," he said with a returning arrogance in his voice. Yeah, I've known him forever. I've been his teammate forever. In a fight, I had his back he had mine. I've put my life on the line for him, and he's done the same for me. We knew each other better than perhaps anyone else in konoha, but he pisses me off sometimes.

"Fuck off," I said and forced chakra into my step, running from the training ground. I didn't turn to see Neji's face.

Probably emotionless anyway, I seethed.

I didn't run home like I had anticipated. Instead, I did a lap around Konoha. It's like…a cool down, I tried to convince myself. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I was really lonely. Having Naruto around helped a lot. He was a giant ball of happiness and energy.

Seriously, where did he get all of that energy?

I rounded a corner, thankful for it being dark and not having to bother with people's stares. People have been…_hesitant _around me since…you know, that night. I would rather them not, because doing so makes it harder for me to forget about it. I loathe the stupid pittying glances they shoot me. Who is they you may ask? Everyone. Every where I turned I either got somber glances or ones that wouldn't make eye contact. I wasn't sure which was worse.

All because of **him. **I don't even who he is. Tears started fog my vision and I pushed myself harder, ignoring the pain that was still throbing through me. I honestly didn't get a good look at him. All I remember is that voice. That horrible voice that plagues my dreams over and over again. Why did he do it? What good was it to him what became of my family? There were only a few of us…my family, my cousins family, and a few more distant ones. It's not like we have some threatening kekki genki that could be a valuable asset to someone.

We were just plain weapon users.

I slowed to a jog as I neared the house. I'm grateful to Hana and Kakashi—so grateful. Words can't even describe. I'm not going to let their efforts go to waste. I'm not going to let that happen to me. I am going to become strong. Stronger than any konoichi—than any _male. _

I walked the rest of the way to the house. I hoped Hana was still awake despite the late hour. I was skidish around men, like hell that I would admit it, though.

It's because of him…that fucktard asshole.

"Tenten!" I looked up to Hana's voice, a smile adorning her face. I let a small smile form on my face.

Thank Kami for you, Hana.

* * *

_ (Hana)_

I grinned as I entered the kitchen. Naruto and Tenten were—for once—peacefully enjoying breakfast. It was odd, but I took it as a chance to spring the news on them. News? Yep.

"So..." I said and two heads raised from their food dishes to look up at me. "I am something to tell both of you." Both faces lit up, Naruto's more so than Tenten's, but that was a given.

"What, what?" Naruto practically screamed. Jeez, it's too early.

"You guys get to go dress shopping with me today!" Both jounin went back to eating their food. My mood dropped slightly.

"Um, no," Tenten said as she slurped up the rest of her cereal and threw the dish into the sink—fortunately, not literally. Though, I had no doubt she would have made it with her eyes closed.

"Ah, why?"

"Yeah mom, I'm spending time with Ino today," Naruto budded in. "We've been planning it awhile and I just can't miss it." I looked over at Tenten for her excuse.

"I just don't want to," she said and paused from leaving the room. "I mean I love you and all, but seriously get someone like Ino." Then she finished with leaving the room. I looked over at Naruto.

"Uh-uh—no," Naruto said and set his bowl in the sink. "I'm leaving before you can try to convince me." I sighed when the room was empty.

"Does no one care about my wedding dress?"


	13. Birthday

**I apologize to anyone whose review I have not replied to. In the mix of switching laptops I have managed to lose track of what reviews I have replied to and which ones I have not. So I apologize if I either miss your review or reply to it twice.**

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* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_Chapter Thirteen_

One week…one week.

One week.

"Ack, I'm going to be Mrs. Hatake in a week!" I screamed into my pillow. The family was gone for the weekend…leaving me. Alone. To think about anything and everything—especially the wedding.

I didn't bother with caring about what the neighbors thought about my family. I had finally gotten around to meet them. They were nice people…a little creepy in that judgemental kind of way. When I met their eyes I knew that they knew what I thought they didn't know but they really didn't know. Does that make any sense? My brain was too fried to care and I moved onto the next topic.

I was relieved that Kakashi was out of the house for the weekend—which I felt incredibly guilty for. I loved the man but he's been so distant lately. Sasuke's departure was finally starting to get to him. Either that or he's been holding it in. Both choices are just as bad. The thing that bugged me the most is that he tried to hide it. Psh!

Oh, Sasuke. Where are you? It's been so long since I've seen you. I've been afraid that I'd forget your face. If not for the picture of your team in Naruto's room I may have. How much have you changed since I last saw you? Has your hair grown out like Naruto's? Did you grow as tall as Kakashi?

Did you turn into a murderer? The thought made me shiver. I did not like thinking of him in that way. He is _my _Sasuke. It didn't matter if I'd never adopted him or had any legal right over him…it was just a fact. Yeesh, you're getting pretty old. How old now? Sixteen? Seventeen? I never did know the date of your birthday.

I pulled off of my bed, reaching for my coat and pulling it on. It was summer but sadly it was still chilly. Cold front, I assumed. I grabbed my wallet and exited to find some food and company.

_All this alone time is driving my crazy!_

* * *

_(Sasuke)_

I looked up to the sky, watching snowflakes fall from the grey abis. Never thought I'd see it snow on my birthday. Not that it matters in the country of cloud. It's always cold here. I pulled my cloak over my head. After this mission is over it will be warmer. Much warmer. I sprinted to the direction of the cloud village

I slipped in with ease. Next I sprinted across the many roofs to the main building. Inside sat the country's Kage. I didn't even know the man.

_But that's what will make this easier._

It didn't hurt as much if I didn't know about the person. Just another face to the millions I've slaughtered. Just another face to haunt my nightmares. I put a hand to my forehead, feeling the foreboding of a headache. I need to focus. Kill the man. One step at a time.

I slid behind the man and brought my katana to his throat. "Sasuke Uchiha," the man breathed and my pulse quickened. He pushed away my katana with a katana of his own, shoving me back. I skidded, digging my feet into the floor. I brought my eyes up to meet his, sharingan flaring. "I've been expecting you."

I didn't bother talking as I ran to the man and met weapons with him. It made a clashing sound and we pulled away again. I pulled my katana up horizontally. _His _face flashed in my mind and I grimaced.

All for a reason—I don't have time for mercy. I'm an avenger.

I clashed swords again and dropped my sword, grasping his and pulling it out of his reach. Deep slashes appeared on my hands but I ignored the pain. _I can hardly feel it anymore, anyways…_

I then flipped his katana and slid it into the man's chest. He disappeared and I turned around, stabbing the real him with my katana. The man let out a small gasp. He obviously did not know the full affect of the sharingan. The ability to literally tell the future.

I pushed it in deeper before pulling it out and cleaning it off on the matted floor. The man made a gargling sound but no others. I pulled the chain and emblem from his neck—the ones that signified him being Kage. I sheithed my katana and carried the Kage's sword instead. Before I exited the room I murmured, "Rest in peace."

It was an odd habit I had fallen into. It had started with the nightmares. Not the ones of my family's deaths…I'd had those since the night they were slaughtered. The nightmares of the people I've killed. My first kills were the hardest. But their faces were blurry. Now, with my enhanced Sharingan, the faces of all the masses I've killed were engraved into my mind. I remembered every detail of every face. Every plane…curve…muscle….

Focus!

I pulled my newly aquired sword and slaughtered ninja after ninja…person after person….and child after child. _I trully am a monster._ A small girl with wide eyes stood in front of me, shock holding her in place. I couldn't help but let it trigger a memory. The memory of _that _night. Suddenly the curse mark was burning at the base of my neck. I brought up my left hand to it.

_I need to finish this quickly._

I closed my eyes and silenced the girl before I could second guess myself. Her scared face remained behind my closed eyes and I sighed.

How much like him am I becoming?

_…I hate my birthday. _

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

I entered the house, dragging myself in. I hadn' t been able to focus and had ended in injuring myself. I'm happy that at least my team was not hurt because of my mistake. Hana was cooking in the kitchen. I had missed her terribly. I missed her touch…feel…voice…but she was not the only one I was missing. I was missing Sasuke. I wouldn't say we were particularly close but I'm not particularly close to anyone and neither was he.

I, of course, didn't feel the same about Sasuke as I did about Hana. But I had the same family protectiveness. They were my responsibility…and I had failed Sasuke. _Failed. _Again. I had let him slip away just as I had Obito.

"Kakashi!" Hana said happily and ran up to hug me. I didn't move at her greeting and her face became downcast. She stopped right in front of me and didn't say anything. I loved her…I missed her…and oh, how I loved her. But I couldn't let her see me like _this_—weak, broken. _I just need some time._

I turned from her and walked to the room, closing the door behind me. I ignored Hana as I did so. I knew it hurt her to ignore her, but I couldn't just let her see me like this. _It's humiliating. _

I stripped out of my dirty clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the cold water pelt down onto my skin. Did she hate me? She deserves to hate me. I failed her. I let my emotions fade away with the water; down the drain and off into the world. When I finished showering I pulled on a clean pair of boxers and pulled myself into bed. The blankets smelled of her. It made me miss her more but I inored it and bolted my eyes shut.

_This is my punishment._

* * *

_(Tenten)_

I arrived home early from my mission, bidding the members of my ANBU team farewell. I hadn't told anyone of my new placement, but why would I? It would not be a secret if everyone were to know. When I entered the house a barage of emotions hit me. It's not like I could literally read peoples' emotions, but I could read their chakra fairly well.

Hana sat at the table plunged deep in thought. A pot of food was burning on the stove. Was I the only one in this house aware of all the drama going on? Kakashi was upset over something and punishing himself for it. Hana was upset over Kakashi being upset and pushing her away. Naruto had a huge crush on Ino and was completely oblivious to everyone else. Me? I was stuck with Neji drama—nothing unusual about that—but I was also stuck in the middle of all this drama.

I turned off the stove and began to repair the noodles as best I could. When I noticed that the noodles were indeed burned to the bottom of the pan and obviously were not going to unstick anytime soon, I began a new batch. I snuck a peak at Hana and saw that she was still deep in thought. I then proceeded to throw the burnt noodles into the trashcan. If anyone questioned it I would just tell him I cooked it. No one would question that. My cooking was horrid.

When I finished the noodles I added the chicken broth and cooked up the chicken. Then I added it all together. It wasn't perfect—as I said, my cooking stunk—but it was decent enough to call a meal. I put a bowl down in front of Hana and she broke from her trance-like state.

"Hey Tenten," she breathed. I let a small smile form on my face for her. I could trust her, so I let my heart out.

"Hey Hana," I said and poured myself a bowl. "Having wet feet?"

"Huh?" Hana's face was torn in confusion.

"Having doubts about the wedding?" I rephrased. I sometimes forgot that Hana and I grew up in very different environments. She grew up in some far off place, being taught to be prim and proper. It made sense if you looked at the way she held herself. She had a grace of a ninja which most of us had, but she also had another hidden grace that came from something more like…well, dancing or something. Nothing I knew about obviously. Unless you counted footwork on a battle field, I thought with a smirk.

"Oh no!" She squeaked out quickly. She looked around anxiously. "I am just thinking—that's all." I frowned at her. She needed a budge.

"About what?" I asked innocently…and like that the dam broke.

"I really don't know Kakashi that well. I love him, I love him so much. But I don't _know him_, know him like some do," she said and I raised a brown eye brow. She sighed. "I don't know his favorite food. I don't know about his parents or family. I don't know why he lies, avoids, and pushes me away. I don't know! I just don't know!" Suddenly she was crying and holding onto me. I awkwardly put a hand over her and patted her back. This was all kind of new to me.

"Does he like my cooking?" She plunged onward. "Does he want to be left alone? Should I go comfort him or give him some space? What should I do? I feel like he's a stranger to me. There's this huge chunk of my heart just for him—Kakashi. But _who _exactly is Kakashi?"

"He's a strong ninja with a big heart…a big heart that he's given to only you, Hana," I said awkwardly but forcefully. "He's asked to share his life with you twice now. He…he loves you and maybe he regrets some decisions in his life. Maybe he does need alone time. Maybe he's too much of a man to admit to needing your help. Or maybe…maybe he just needs you to hug him and love him and be there for him." Hana was baffled and so was I. Had I really just spewed all this romantic love crap? Wow. My whole tough girl reputation could be ruined.

Shit.

"Just…just don't tell anyone I said that," I said quickly, trying to cover my tracks. "I have a reputation to uphold." She giggled and I smiled, happy that my odd tactics had the desired affect.

"Being a caring person is nothing to be ashamed about, Tenten," she said as she happily took a sip of soup. I knew it didn't taste well but Hana was nothing if not a lady and made a sound of content.

_Hana, you're too nice for your own good._

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," I said dismissively and trudged off to my room. Maybe that would diminish some of the drama. Maybe it'd cause more. Who knows? It had made Hana's "frown turn upside down." Hah! That's a smart saying! Because like a frown…and a smile…and—never mind. Ignore that.

_Training…training…training. Less girly crap._

_

* * *

_

**A/N **

**You know where the review button is ;)**


	14. Sakura

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed! **

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**Enjoy! **

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_Chapter Fourteen_

_(Ino)_

If I were to say I were the luckiest girl in the world…I wouldn't be lying, I thought as I sorted through a pile of fresh flowers. I've had many things in my life. I've been pretty—maybe even beautiful. I've been a decent kunoichi. Boyfriends—lots of boyfriends. But I've never had Naruto, and that's the only way to describe what I had. I couldn't really put it into any other words.

Being with Naruto was different than any other relationship I've ever had. I didn't need to dress to impress because Naruto really didn't notice the difference. I'm not calling him stupid. I've learned that that really is not the case. He just didn't care.

_It's really different for me because I've always been so…so materialistic?_

Naruto brought out a side of me I never knew I had. A fun loving almost childish side. For once I wasn't in a relationship based on passion and lust. I was in one based on happiness and his huge fox-like grins.

On our first date-like thing, we danced in the rain. It was different and totally out of my element. But now…now Naruto would whisk me away to different places. It made me feel like a hopeless romantic…maybe I am a hopeless romantic?

I arranged the bouquet of purples and pinks with a hint of white into a vace and placed it in the store window. I couldn't help but smile when I saw a certain blond haired, blue eyed guy walking toward the shop. I returned to my spot next to the cash register and heard the bell on the door ring.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a thing of flowers." Naruto _would _have no idea what the word was.

"You mean a bouquet?"

"Uh, yes."

"What kind?" I said, playing along with his game.

"I'm not sure…" I led him over to some of the fresher ones. "You see, I have this girlfriend and she's really into flowers so it really has to be the best. I also don't know what kind of flower is her favorite. Can you help me?" I smiled.

_Girlfriend…_

I showed him what was honestly my favorite arrangement of flowers. It was simple but beautiful. It had full, light pink roses with baby's breath in between. "She seems like a rose kind of person." I handed him the bouquet.

"She does…hey, what do pink roses mean?"

"Well, they can mean a variety things…happiness, joy, admiration…romance," I responded with a blush on my cheeks.

"Ah, but how will she know which one?" he questioned further.

"Perhaps," I said while ringing up the roses, "she just likes the color?" Naruto smiled that huge grin that I loved. I felt my heart flutter and nearly fell over. All of this is so weird to me.

"That's good—I don't understand any of this flower-color-meaning crap." I coulnd't contain myself and laughed.

"Oh Naruto," more laughs impaired my ability to speak. "You're one of a kind, _you._" He joined me in laughing.

"And what about you? You _eat _flowers!" I laughed harder.

_Sheesh, we must look crazy!_

"They're perfectly healthy!"

"You're like…a deer!"

"Hey, you ate them too!"

"Only to be nice," he said and the laughs died down a bit. Tears were stining at my eyes, that's how hard I had laughed. "Anyways, I was wondering if you want to meet me up at the Hokage mountain when you are finished with work?"

"I don't get off for a couple of hours," I said sadly.

"I'll wait," Naruto replied.

"Alright," I said and looked at the flowers in his hand. "I'll get you a vase so your flowers don't die." Naruto looked like he had just noticed them in his hand.

"Oh, they're for you." I giggled.

"Thank you."

* * *

_(Hana)_

I like to believe I am a chipper person who can brighten peoples' lives with a smile and some nice words. I like to believe that I have the perfect family. However, sometimes reality crashed down upon me.

My marriage is a mess. I'm marrying the love of my life in just two days…and he won't even talk to me. He's pushing me away! Every time he does that I feel my heart break a little inside. Does he notice how much it hurts me? Why can't I be the one he confides in?

At the current time Kakashi had resolved on sleeping on the couch. Were we not legally married already? Had we not been together for months? Did…did he not want me anymore? I mean, there's tons of things wrong with me. I won't deny that. I sometimes hog the blankets, or squeaze the life out of him in my sleep. I hum when I clean. I eat slowly. I get distracted easily.

But…does he not want me because of this? Do I…do I annoy him?

I pulled the blankets over my head and curled up into a ball. Should I call the wedding off? I love him. Kami knows how much I love the man. But would he be happier if all of this went down the drain? I could leave…I…I could go somewhere else so he wouldn't have to be reminded of me.

I…I don't know where I'd go. I really don't have anywhere _to _go. But I'd find somewhere. I'm sure someone I know would take me in. Or would I be a nuesence to them also? I guess it's not like I lacked money. I could always go and rent my own appartment or buy my own house.

I would miss this house…but maybe that would make everyone happy? I love Kakashi and want to stay with him, but if leaving makes him happy…then well…well, I'll leave. My mind fluttered back to when I had confessed my love for him in a letter I had never intended for him to read…

* * *

_Dear Kakashi Hatake,_

_I would have put Kaka, but I feel that is too informal for our situation._

_The situation I started. _

_I'm so sorry. I wish I never hurt you like I did._

_I wish you could love the real me instead of the person I created; Uindo._

_I fully understand if you never want to talk to me again._

_But please, I beg you, don't go doing irrational things that could kill or harm you in any way._

_This is all my fault. I'm so incredibly sorry, I can't even find the words for it._

_I wish that it didn't have to end like it did. I wish there was some way to let you forget it._

_To let you feel like nothing happened...to let you forget me._

_So I could disappear somewhere in the distance._

_So you could be happy._

_That's all I ask. I don't ask for a fake apology. I don't ask for a card, letter, or anything for__  
that matter._

_I just want you to be happy._

_To smile. Smile, Mr. Hatake. Smile because everything is beautiful._

_Smile because you only have one chance. Smile because even if that one chance__  
hurts so badly, it feels so right in the end. Smile._

_Just smile._

_Mr. Hatake, I know that it is nearly impossible to forget the past. And I know we learn from past mistakes._

_So remember me...?_

_Remember the ripping feeling inside your chest every time something reminds you of the person__  
I made you believe was real._

_And learn from it._

_Live from it._

_But...smile, Mr. Hatake._

_Just smile.

* * *

_

…but maybe it would be better if he didn't remember me. If I had just left then instead of being so self-centered. He would have been able to forget me. We could have escaped just as well. We would both be fine. But he wouldn't be hurting.

_Ugh…I'm such a horrible person…_

Will Naruto be better without me too? I mean, he obviously needs a father figure. It's something a mother just can't replace. He also has Ino here and we all know how much it would hurt him to leave her.

Tenten? Well, Tenten had been doing some distancing herself. Only it was to me. Ever since the heartfelt thing she said to me in the kitchen a few days ago, she had been out of the house non-stop. Only coming home to sleep and eat, ignoring conversation with me. So who was left? Who actually needed me? No one. Everyone I loved—Kakashi, Naruto, Tenten…Sasuke,

_Oh, Sasuke…_

Should I find him? I'm not the best ninja, of that I'm positive. But maybe him seeing me would make him return? He could live here with Kakashi, Naruto and Tenten. He would have to share a room with Naruto, but I'm sure Naruto wouldn't mind at all. Sakura would start visiting again. As much as I never liked the girl, she was probably heart broken. Now that I thought about it, I actually pitied the girl.

_Imagine losing the ony you love…not because of death but because he doesn't want you._

I felt like I could relate to her. I pushed my face into my pillow as the tears began to fall. I'm not supposed to be this weak. I was raised to be a strong leader…a strong ninja. But here I am being as weak as always. Kakashi had been right when he was a kid…I was weak. I shouldn't have ever been a ninja.

I pulled myself up out of bed and didn't bother in changing into fresh and unrinkled clothes. I had slept in these but I didn't care anymore. I just didn't care. No physical thing could matter as much as Kakashi…as much as my family.

_My broken…terribly broken family._

I exited the house without seeing anyone. Either they were avoiding me or they weren't home. It was hot out today. It finally started to feel like summer. The cold front was finally gone. It made me miss it. Miss its cold comfort.

I walked halfway across Konoha and arrived at a door step much later. I hesitantly knocked on the door and a petite pink-haird girl opened it. Her brow wrinkled in confusion and her eye brows twisted. "Hana?"

"Good day, Sakura," I said and bowed in greeting. "May I come in?"

* * *

We talked for many hours. We cried many tears. She told me a lot about Sasuke. Things that even I did not know. It reminded me once again that I hardly knew Kakashi. I knew he was a tad bit of a pervert, but gentleman enough to not mention things. He liked reading that book series by some Jerimiah fellow. He did not show his face because he did not want to be known as his father, even though he respected him greatly. He wanted to be known as none other than Kakashi Hatake, the copy ninja. Not White Fang's son. I knew he also had a handsome face under neath the mask. His skin was smooth and clean. His lips were full but definitely masculine. He had high cheekbones and a nice angled chin. He had a small, straight nose. The scar on his left eye only added to his beauty. It was a battle scar but it showed his deadly side. His one eye was a deep grey and the other was constantly bright crimson. Again, both showing his many sides. All in all, everything you would ever need or want to know about the man was on his face. Which is why he hid it from the world.

_He didn't hide it from you…_

That is true. He had opened up to me more so than probably any other person. He exposed himself to me, but not completely. I shouldn't complain. Just because I believe in full trust in a relationship doesn't mean everyone does. I trusted Kakashi a hundred percent. But sometimes I wondered how much he trully trusted me. I mean…he wouldn 't even share his feelings with me.

Am I being selfish again? This is all about me, me, me. I want to see the bigger picture. Or maybe just have someone—anyone—answer my question with a yes or no. SHOULD I LEAVE?

When I finished visiting with Sakura, I had a much higher respect for her. She went through so much heart ache and still managed to live life. She really loved him—trully, madly, deeply. He just…just didn't return her feelings. It made me think of Kakashi sleeping on the couch.

Was he trying to distance himself from me?

When I finally left her house it was dark outsid and the moon was already high in the night sky. It didn't occur to me before how dangerous it was walking around by myself that late at night. But at the time I had other things on my mind.

When I arrived Kakashi was home and on the couch. He was sitting and not sleeping but when his eyes glanced up at mine I knew he wished he were. He didn't want to see me. I used all of my will-power to not break down and cry there. He didn't want to see me…he didn't want to see me…he didn't…he didn't want me—and I don't mean want as in desire or lust for. I mean want to share his life with…want to love…want to hold close and charish. Was I again being selfish?

I walked up to him and well, we had our first real fight. "Kakashi, I know you don't want to talk to me but I need to talk to you. We're getting formally married in two days and—"

"Hana, I'm not in the mood to talk." Not in the mood? Not in the mood? How can you "not be in the mood to talk"?

"Kakashi! Will you not listen to anything I say? I NEED you. I love you so much, I just—"

"You shouldn't."

"What?" I nearly screamed.

"You shouldn't love me." I was at a loss of words.

"What? Why? I…I…you…"

"I'm not proud of things."

"So? I accept them. Naruto accepts them. Tenten accepts them. How come you're the only one who can't? We don't care!" Kakashi sprung up off of the couch.

"Well, I do! It matters to me. I…I shouldn't have just let him leave! I should have been there or him the night of that party." Pain shot through my chest. The night of the party…the night he had proposed to me. My voice came out tight.

"So all of this is about Sasuke? All your distancing and avoiding?"

"No." Another stab in the heart. I took a wobly step back, attempting to brace the throbbing in my chest. "This is about all of us. I think we should cancel the wedding." Cancel? Cancel?

"You're the one who wanted it! All this torture I've been put through, all this trouble you put everyone through and now you want to cancel it when it's in only two days?" My voice raised louder and louder as I spoke.

"Yes, I want to fucking cancel it! I regret it!" He…he swore. He knew how opposed to it I was. The dam finally broke and tears started to pour down my face. My lip quivered and I focused on not whimpering or sobbing. He regretted the wedding. The whole wedding? Did he regret me? "Look, Hana, I—"

"No," I said quietly and looked up to meet his eyes. "I don't believe it…I…I can't believe it."

"Well, believe it," he told me and laid down on the couch, pulling the blankets over himself. "Just leave…just leave me alone." I let out a quiet whimper and whiped my nose with the back of my hand—very unlady-like, I know, but at the time it was the least of my worries.

"Is that what you want—for me to leave?" I asked as I looked at his back turned to me.

"Yes." I then ran for the room. I slammed the door behind me—childish, I know. Again, not one of my worries. I let my back slide down the door until I hit my bottom on the floor. I then sat there and sobbed for hours. I couldn't take it. My heart pounded hard in my chest. Everytime it did so it would feel smaller and smaller, shrinking. It felt like someone had my heart in his hand and was squeazing it as hard as he could.

When I stopped sobbing hours later, I cleaned myself up. I showered and washed my hair. I whiped ferociously at my eyes, wishing the puffiness and redness to go away. They did not, however, so I ignored them. Kakashi was fast asleep on the couch. He did not snore, but he breathed in deeply. That was the only indication of him ever sleeping. I pulled a bag from the closet and stuffed only the necessary items into it: some clothes, some money, and some food.

I tiptoed out of the room, careful not to awake him. I knew I wouldn't. I had snuck on him before when I had collected his blood for the adoption papers. But now I wasn't trying to sneak up on him. I was trying to sneak away from him—I idly wondered if sneaking down on him was a term. It was the opposite. But I ignored that trivial thought and continued to the door. I got out easily and my shoes padded quietly against the road. It wasn't bad and no one awoke in the house.

I went down the main road, the only exit out of Konoha. It wasn't a long walk, but it was a hot walk. My wet hair clung to my face and the back of my neck. It hadn't dried from the shower yet and the mugginess of the air wasn't helping. I stopped when a figure stood directly in my path. It took me a moment to recognize him, the bright orange and black of his jacket not visible in the dark.

_Naruto…_

"Don't," was all he said, not moving. "Don't leave." I stood there and bit my lip, playing with the straps of the bag on my back. I didn't want to have to confront anyone.

"I have to," I responded, taking a step forward. "I can't stay here. I have to leave."

"No," he said through clenched teeth. "You don't."

"I do. I can't…" I can't be with you guys. I can't be around. It hurts everyone too much. "…follow the same path as you guys." Naruto laughed bitterly.

"Funny," he scoffed. "That's the same thing Sasuke said." My eyes bolted up to meet his. He was taller than me but we were far enough away I didn't have to crane me neck.

_Sasuke…_

"The same thing he said to Sakura when he left." A sob welled up in my chest but I forced it down. I was done crying. But Sasuke…_my _little—well, not so little—Sasuke. If he hadn't left, where would he be now? He had so much going for him. So much to offer and to be offered. He could have anything. Now? Now if he returned…well, what would he be greeted with? Would they let him return? Would they hurt him…kill him?

"That's not the same."

"Yeah, it is."

"No, I'm not going as some avenger. I'm just…going."

"Why?" I looked down, unable to hold eye contact. "Why are you leaving? Do you not like it here? Do you not like being with Kakashi and Tenten…and me?"

"It's not like that," I whispered.

"Then feel free to explain! Because I'm completely clueless here!" My eyes darted up to meet his glare. I opened my mouth to yell but closed it the instant I saw his eyes. Hidden underneath the anger there was hurt. Hurt, sadness, regret. I bit my lip and swallowed my anger, loneliness filling the gap it left.

"It hurts Kakashi to have me around...it hurts everyone. I'm going to go after Sasuke." If I could ever actually track him.

"Damn him, damn that," Naruto said and I stepped back at his swear word. "Kakashi isn't everyone—and just cause he's acting different doesn't mean he doesn't want you around."

"But he said so."

"Well, he was being a dobe. He loves you. And so do Tenten and I. If you left…well, you're the only mother I've ever known. It'd be like losing Sasuke again. I'd have another hole here in my chest." He motioned to the place over his heart, his hand in a tight fist. "I can't take that. I'll stop you by force if I have to."

_Oh Naruto, I've been so focused on Kakashi and Sasuke I haven't even paid any attention to you. _You're hurting again. Being with Ino helps, but there's still that ache underneath the surface.

"I'll stay," I told him. His eyes darted up to mine and I added a grin. "Besides, my tracking skills are terrible. I'd never find him." Naruto grinned back.

"Not to mention you'd get your butt kicked by me," Naruto added in and I laughed, bringing him into a hug. He had to bend down and I had to reach up, but it worked. It was different. He had grown so much. But he'd always be my little, ramen loving boy.

"I love you, squirt," I told him and stood on my tippytoes to ruffle his hair. He laughed.

"Hard to say when you're half a foot shorter than me." I joined him, laughing.

"Okay, let's head back and put you to bed. You're going to be exhausted for training tomorrow."

"Oh mom," Naruto whined. "Don't worry about me. You're the one who'll have the worry wrinkles in the morning." I stopped moving and cast him a glare, grinding my teeth together.

"He _told _you?" I seethed.

"He, uh, mentioned it."

"To whom?"

"Just Ino and me."

"Kami, the whole village is going to know I'm thirty!" So my worries had gone from everyone hating me to everyone knowing I was thirty in a matter of minutes. It was a much better change, let me tell you. I looked up at Naruto as we walked, his face forward. He was really growing up. Not just insanely tall, but in maturity too.

_My little boy's getting all grown up! _

Gosh, I sound like a grandma. UGH!

* * *

**A/N: I apologize for the depressing chapter but it had to go somewhere.**

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	15. Wedding

**Ah, the chapter I've been waiting so desperately to write!**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_Chapter Fifteen_

It wasn't until three very moody women started slipping me into a white dress that reality set in. I was marrying Kakashi Hatake. THE Kakashi Hatake. The copy ninja. The white fang's son. But more than anything, I was marrying my Kaka. I giggled.

Kaka sounds like that word for poop!

Oh yeesh, I'm high off of excitement!

"Stop giggling, you're going to make me burn you!" Ino yelled at me as she attempted to curl my long black locks. Funny how she was like half my age and commanded me around like a mother sometimes. Ugh, I'm old.

Sh, don't keep reminding yourself, Hana.

"Ow!" I screached very unlady-like as I was stabbed in the eye. My right eye started to tear and my lip quivered. Well, it hurt! I only have two of those!

"Stop moving!" This time it was Shizune who had yelled at me. She had a stick of eye liner scarily close to my eye. Which makes sense when you think that it's supposed to go around the eye, but that's so dangerous!

"Why do we need all of this?" I whined. The three women in the room—once again Tsunade, Ino and Shizune—all rolled their eyes.

"It's your wedding, bimbo!" Tsunade said. I looked up at her, a pout forming on my face.

"Oh no you don't. That may work on Kakashi, but that sure as hell is not going to work on me," she said as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Kakashi would let me free," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that?" She asked, daring me to speak louder.

"He wouldn't hold me prisoner against me will!" I whined. Yes, I was in quite the whiney mood today. But it was the day of my wedding and I had the right to be nervous. I just dealt with it in different ways than some people. My hands went to my eyes, instantly looking for worry wrinkles. In the process I managed to hit Shizunes hand and she screached. When I looked in the mirror I saw an angled, black line across my eye to my upper right forehead.

Oh my kami, a worry wrinkle!

Agh! On the day of my wedding no less!

"You made me get eye liner on your forehead," Shizune whined. Eye liner? I looked in the mirror again and noticed how crayon-like the line was. Definitely not real. Nothing like a worry wrinkle…but how would I know? I've never seen a worry wrinkle!

I was happy when Tsunade shifted my attention from the horrid worry warts Kakashi said I was destined to get.

"So you're saying Kakashi willingly holds you prisoner?" She said and the three women snickered. My face turned beat red. At that point I was positive I could have beaten a tomato at the "redest thing contest." Wait never mind, that doesn't exist.

"Th-th…that's not what I meant!" I gasped out and was instantly not so happy about Tsunade shifting my attention. Which was worse? Talking about my love life with Kakashi or worrying over worry wrinkles?

Poodle poopies!

Worrying over worry wrinkles? That's like a paradox. You worry over worrying to get worry wrinkles. Ugh. How come nothing can't be complex? See that double negative? Uh-huh. So that means how come nothing can be simple?

Why am I talking to myself like I'm a five year old?

"Hana, you have too much hair!" Ino whined, pulling me from my thoughts.

"I'm sorry," I replied automatically.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" I asked, confused.

"Apologize for it."

"Oh…I'm sorry." Again, automatically.

"Hana!"

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to say sorry!" I said and paused to think about what I had said for a minute. "…poodle poopies."

"An hour left," Tsunade said, being the only clear headed, sane person in the room. Kami, who am I kidding? She was just as crazy as the rest of them.

"Done," Shizune said and I lurched my neck to see my reflection. "Oh no, no, no. You don't get to see till you're all done." With that she covered the mirror in front of me and I sighed. I yawned several times and Shizune began working on my nails. So…so…well, bored. Yes, I was about to get married in an hour but until then I had nothing to do. Bored. Completely and utterly b—

I started laughing like a maniac. That finally got a response out of the three crazed women in the room. I kept laughing and Shizune stopped what she was doing. Ah. I stopped laughing and sighed contently.

"What the—"

"I'm ticklish," I said as if it were obvious. Well, it was. Just because someone is all grown up and everything doesn't mean they can't be ticklish. The same is true with hiccups! I get them all the time!

…on second thought, maybe I didn't grow up? That's what I guessed by the looks I got.

"Ticklish?" Ino breathed out.

"Yes, many people are ticklish," I said starting a rant. "Like Kakashi. Oh he's exceptionally ticklish on this one spot. You would never know it but it's right—" I decided to cut myself off before I could embarrass myself any further. I did _not _need to be telling them about these things. These…these quite secret, intimate things.

I'm pretty sure I matched a tomato again. Maybe something redder than a tamato.

Is there anything redder than a tamato? I began laughing erratically again.

"Hana!" Three women yelled.

"I-I…haha…can't…haha…help!" I said through laughs. Shizune apparently was attempting to paint my toe nails. Tsunade sighed.

"Skip the pedicure. Go to the manicure," she said grudginly. I finally calmed down a good fifteen minutes later. Sixty minues fifteen…fourty-five. I moved my head to look at the door of the room. It was a big wooden door and very intimidating.

And that's when the butterflies started.

"I can't do it!" I yelled out spuradically. Ino and Shizune didn't even pause in their actions. I guess they were hanging around me enough to get used to my odd behavior. Wait, did I have odd behavior? Focus! Ugh, when did I start getting distracted so easily?

"Do what?" The butterflies were there again and my heart nearly started trying leap out of my chest. Good thing my ribs were in the way.

"I can't marry him! Knowing me, I'll trip on my dress and fall down, taking down the whole procession with me!" Ino snickered.

"Probably would."

"Don't jinx it!" Tsunade nearly screamed.

"Knock on wood!" Shizune called and the three women proceeded to knock on the nearest wooden object. Then three pairs of eyes landed on me.

"No," I said calmly. "No way. I'm not into all that supersticious mumbo jumbo."

"No use in decreasing your chances, eh?" I looked over at the door and saw a blinding blond head of hair peaking through.

"Naruto!" I said happily. He came in, shutting the door behind him and then giving me an odd glance.

"Did you get here drunk, granny?" he asked. Drunk?

"Don't call me granny!" she bit at him but then calmed. "No, she's not drunk, drunk."

"Not unless you call drunk off of adrenaline as drunk, drunk!" Ino said cheerfully. Her mood completely shifted when Naruto came in. It wasn't being two faced—no, her entire mood brightened when he had entered.

Aww! So cute! They're getting so big!

"And you're getting so old," I thought outloud. Four pairs of eyes were on me this time. "What?"

"I am NOT old!" Tsunade roared. Aw, poodle poopies.

Even in the room of utter madness with Tsunade now trying to kill me and Ino protecting me with a hair curler, I couldn't help my thoughts race of toward Kakashi.

_I love you. All of this—everything—is for you, Kakashi. _I smiled.

If only I knew that it made me look sadistic. I was, in fact, the target for murder at the time. Oh life, always so complicated but simple. I wanted desperately for Sasuke to be here. But I had Kakashi with me _till death do us part. _Well, that's an oxymoron.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

My usually silent heart pounded ferociously in my chest. I looked around at my best man and close friends who were all cooped up in a very humid, small room. I was already in my suit and after Gai had tried to settle down my hair and given up, I had taken to sitting on a couch and silently freaking out—just a tad bit.

I had never felt so utterly happy in my entire life time.

Gai—contrary to what most people expected—was not my best man. No, over the years we had gone through a lot together. But that did not mean I wanted that lunatic as my best man. No, he was bonkers. Totally and utterly…well, insane! Crazy!

No, I had asked my old and dear friend Iruka to be my best man. Through the years, he had always been there for me—even during some of my stupider decisions. He was, well, pretty much my polar opposite. The only thing we had in common when we were younger was that we both liked Kurenai—and that…well it didn't exactly make us the best of friends.

It was the stupid "fight for the girl's affections" kind of situation. The irony of it is that neither of us got the girl in the end; Asuma did. It was the kind of bitter irony that had left a pang in my chest.

"Kakashi!" I looked up to see Gai's suit. I nearly choked on air, but instead it came out as a stifled laugh. It was the same flamboyant green as his usual jumpsuit. Underneath was a blindingly yellow dress shirt. A green and black polka dotted bow was tied tightly to his neck.

See? I told you he was a loony.

"I would like to make a speech at the wedding ceremony," Gai stated.

Oh, no. No, no, no. That's what I was going to say, blatantly refuse. However, the look on his face got to me. Kami, Hana was rubbing off on me. He was, in fact, "my oldest rival" as he stated. I had never really considered him one. Ever. But he did, and it meant the world to him to make his silly little speech.

"Sure," I said shrugging and Iruka's and Asuma's mouths dropped open. At least they had brushed their teeth. It would have been disgusting if they hadn't. Ugh.

"Oh, thank you! Kakashi, my man, you will not regret it. You are a very fine, youthful man, I tell you," Gai rambled on and on in gratitude and I tuned him out. I was getting married.

I wondered what Hana was thinking about over in the room a few doors down. No doubt Ino, Tsunade, and Shizune were attacking her, as she would say. She may kill them all before the wedding. The thought made me chuckle.

We hadn't scheduled a honey moon, per say. We really didn't plan one at all. We decided to stay home with the family and skip the honeymoon thing all together. I had kind of wanted to go on a honeymoon and get some time away from the family. I loved them—don't get me wrong—but it's hard to do…you know, intimate things with innocent ears in the same house. But Hana had wanted it, so I had agreed. How could I not? She put her rump down on the floor, pushed her lips out, and looked up at me through those long lashes of hers. It was her very own puppy dog look.

_I love you. I want anything—everything—to be yours, Hana. _I smiled.

If only I knew that Gai had started a fight with Iruka. And that I was, in fact, the reason for the fight. Oh life, bitter and sweet, cruel and kind. I missed Sasuke. But I had Hana. Was that, in a way, an oxymoron?

* * *

_(Hana)_

I made my way to my spot behind the door. My nerves had numbed and the fluttery butterflies had…well, I don't know what they did but they had disappeared. I had my beautiful batch of flowers in my hand. Millions of large and small white daisies with patches of some kind of green leaved plant. Around the bottom was an orange bow to keep it all together—and for show, I suppose.

When the music started, my maid of honor—Ino—and my bridesmaids—Shizune and Tenten—began their walk to the platform. I got a peak out the door. There were millions, and I mean millions, of people out there. It was outside in one of the many Konoha gardens. A path of white cloth led to the platform. White chairs with some kind of orange flower and daisies attached to them, were in orderly lines all facing it.

Funny enough, Naruto was the ring bearer, despite his older age. One of the little girls on Kakashi's new team was the flower girl. She wore a bright orange colored spring dress that had flowers all around it. On her brown haired head was a crown of intricately woven daisies. Oh how I loved daisies.

Kakashi's best man was Iruka. I hardly knew the man, but just looking at him and Kakashi interact once gave me the feeling they went way, way, way back. Gai sat in the front row with an obnoxiously green suit. I laughed. Trust him to wear the weirdest clothes _anywhere._

My music started playing and I took a deep breath, being careful to breathe it back out slowly. Okay Hana, this is it. This is the big day. This is your wedding—your wedding with Kakashi Hatake.

With another deep breath and a burst of courage, I pushed open the large wooden doors.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

I made my way to my spot on the altar-like platform. Tsunade stood in the direct middle. As the Hokage, she was to perform the ceremony. I had to stop myself from laughing when I saw Naruto in the procession. He wore a white suit with a bright orange dress shirt and a black tie.

My breathing nearly stopped when the wooden doors were forced open. A petite form stood there awkwardly for a second before she began walking.

_Hana…my Uindo…my wind._

It was ironic that she knocked the wind out of me. Hah.

She had—obviously—a white dress on. It was sleeveless, but lace connected to where the sleeves would be and went almost to her elbows. It had a heart shaped top and intricate white crystals sewn into the white fabric. It made her look like she sparkled, oddly enough. At her hips, the dress went out—almost like a bell. It had ruffles upon ruffles and lace mixed in.

Her long and silky black hair was half up and half down. A sparkling silver butterfly clip held half of her hair up in the back. Her hair was curly but not too curly. It was long and went almost to her waist. A white veil was over her face and back, it also consisted of lace. The lace was shaped in a pattern of butterflies. Oh, Hana. I had to stifle another laugh.

She walked down the aisle slowly and well paced, matching the rhythm of the music being played by violins at her side. Many gasps, "oohs", and "ahs" were heard as she approached the altar-thing. But in that second, it was only me and her. Her dark blue eyes met my grey one and we were the only ones that existed.

It sounds corny, I know. But that's what happened. Everything went to a blur, even the violins and harps were muted against her. Her face lit up in a small smile and I returned hers with a smile of my own. It was all so magical.

I had never believed in any god or gods. I had never believed in some omnipotent being. But now as I stood there, I could have believed anything. I could have believed that Hana was an angel sent down from heaven. So I stood there and did something I had never done. I prayed.

_Dear whoever you are, thank you. Thank you for her._

I didn't know if it would be heard but I didn't care. If someone was up there, then they heard it. If someone wasn't, well, why did it matter? No one would ever know. I let my smile grow and for a moment, I even forgot about the hole in my chest from Sasuke.

* * *

_(Hana)_

There I was. Everything was perfect. Breath! Breath! I yelled at myself over and over. Right, left, right left. Right left, right left! Breath! In! Out! In! Out! Okay Hana, calm down. Calm down. You've gone on dangerous mission not knowing if you would ever return, and you're afraid of a wedding? Heck, you've already married the man! It's just for formalities!

So I continued my chant in my head: left, breath in, right, breath out, left, breath in, right, breath out. I heard gasps around me and trailed the room with my eyes. Many people I knew were there and many people I didn't know were there. But it didn't matter, because my eyes found _him. _

My heart fluttered under my ribs.

_So that's where the butterflies went…_

He wore a dark colored suit, a white dress shirt, and a black tie. His gravity-defying hair was as gravity-defying as ever. His black mask protruded out from under his shirt and I had to stifle a giggle. It was all so perfect. My prince charming. It was like my very own fairy-tale happy ending. In that moment I forgot about missing Sasuke. I forgot about the ache in my chest from him. My heart fluttered and I felt it could fly far off into the skies.

_I love you, I love you, I love you…I love you. I love you. Dear Kami—if you exist that is—thank you for everything you have done for me and the man I love. If you had mentioned this fifteen years ago I would have laughed bitterly. But this, this is beautiful. You must be pretty incredible to have thought this out so well. I love him with all my heart._

I felt a smile tug at my lips and let it slide unto my face. Kakashi mimicked me and I just stared into his intoxicated gaze. His present eye was grey as a stormy sky. It made me smile and tingle all over. Kami, he's gorgeous with a smile on his face—even if it's hard to see it with that mask. But I could imagine him without it, smiling that smile that made people swoon over him. I giggled like a school girl. _Smile, Mr. Hatake. Smile because everything is beautiful. Smile because you only have one chance. Smile because…because even if that one chance hurts so badly sometimes, it feels so perfect in the end. Smile. Just smile._

And that's when I tripped over my own two feet.

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**A/N: The review button? ;)**


	16. I do

**Disclaimer:** I own neither Naruto nor any of the characters besides Hana.

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**My Heart Yearns**

_Chapter Sixteen_

It had turned out so terribly wrong. I hadn't even tripped on my dress. No, fate wasn't nice enough for that. I had tripped over nothing. Air. I had stopped yelling that chant in my mind over and over again. I had lost my concentration when I had seen Kakashi.

Time seemed to slow as I fell. That sounds cliché but seriously, it was like I could think a million things and scream at myself all the while. I kept repeating _no! You're a ninja, Hana! For goodness sake, catch yourself! _But I had already caused the damage, regardless.

As I tripped forward the little boy holding my—train, is it?—stumbled forward and tripped also. I inwardly sighed, grateful that I walked practically last in the procession. Oh, how wrong I was.

As I tripped forward I stepped on Ino's dress in front of me. I heard a ripping noise and Ino tripped forward, knocking over Shizune. Shizune reached out for the nearest object, to steady herself. Sadly, the nearest object was Tenten. Tenten righted herself before she could hit the ground, pivoting on her heel. In the meantime, she managed to hit Naruto, who righted himself easily but not before taking an awkward step forward.

The two golden rings flew from the pillow-like thing they were being held on. I barely righted myself, but managed to not fall to the ground. That would have been horrible. But then I noticed the flying rings and had the urge to chase and grab them. I lifted my hands into the air, reaching childishly to grab them. In the process, I managed to run into Tenten who tried to pivot again but caught on her own dress. Then fell sideways into Naruto. He caught her but hit the ground, cushioning her fall with his body.

Kakashi, luckily, caught the two rings with ease and smiled sheepishly at the crowd. I stood there awkwardly and took in my surroundings. The whole procession, minus myself, was on the grass. I laughed awkwardly and smiled sheepishly, looking over to Kakashi.

_Why do I have to be such a klutz? _I screamed in my head. I wanted to plop down with the rest of my procession and pout like a child. I would fall, push my lip out, and cross my arms over my chest. I, however, would not do that in front of all these people. I was raised to be a lady—a leader—why did I have to be so clumsy? I mean, it was going so well!

Tsunade cleared her throat and everyone shifted their attention to hear what she had to say. A smile was dawned on her face. "Well, it wouldn't be a special occasion if Hana didn't keep us on our toes." Everyone laughed and the people in the procession stood themselves up and brushed themselves off. Horror was still very present on my face. "It seems we have her parents' consent. Shall we continue?"

And with that everyone laughed and applauded, forgetting the terror of it all. The violins, harps, and other stringed instruments began to play as if nothing had happened. Yeesh, and people call me bipolar! Wait, no they don't…do they? I looked around and noticed I had lost my bouquet. Oh no, you have got to be kidding me?

_Could this get any worse?_

Well, fate was cruel like that.

My bouquet of flowers had blown off into the crowd somewhere and I had no idea where to even start looking. So I looked over to the seats that had the cute little bouquets of orange flowers and white daisies. I roughly yanked on one of those. As I yanked on one I noticed they were all connected by this lacey fabric.

Aw, you got to be kidding me!

They fell down like dominos. The people in the seats made an odd squeaking sound and jumped from their seats. Luckily, only the end chairs on the left side fell over. I laughed sheepishly again as I—once again—had everyone's undivided attention. "That was my aunt and uncle's consent," I called out. Kakashi laughed and got the attention of the crowd. Thank Kami!

_Now it definitely can't get any worse!_ I looked around me, apprehensively. Nothing immediate happened. _Knock on wood! Knock on wood! _I probably looked crazy when I went up to one of the chairs and knocked on it. Oh well, who cares anymore?

I looked up to the sky, afraid it might rain or something. This voodoo mumbo jumbo was really starting to creep me out. I walked with my procession with all the dignity I had left. I would never hear the end of this. Never. This was so not a good idea. I reached the platform and stood on it across from Kakashi. I knew he was smirking almost sadistically under that mask of his.

"Do you, Kakashi Hatake…" I let her voice fade off. There was no way I could pay attention to her when Kakashi was standing right across from me. Oh! How odd it must seem to you that suddenly we aren't…well, you know, seething with animosity toward each other?

Well, when I arrived back at the house with Naruto early that morning. Or was it night? Well, it was dark out—early in the AM. When I arrived, Kakashi had been waiting. When I opened the door and stepped in, her wrapped me up in his arms. I took a sharp intake of air as his warm form pressed close to mine. _Didn't he want me to leave? _He put his face in my hair and I could feel him breathe in my scent. "Don't you ever leave me like that again, you hear me?" Naruto kindly left us alone.

"But I thought you wanted me gone?" I questioned. Kakashi sighed as he pulled his face away from me, but still hung on to me tightly.

"Never," he grunted out. I looked up to his visible eye. He let his emotions show in his eyes and I saw worry and self loathing. Oh, Kami! "I just…I didn't want you to see me that way."

"What way?"

"Weak…vulnerable. I haven't been this close to someone in a long time—maybe never."

"You…you were embarrassed?" I gasped out, unable to grasp the concept.

"Yes, Hana," he murmured as he tucked some hair behind my ear. His warm hands brushed my skin and a warm tingle shot up through my spine. "I didn't want anyone—especially you—to see me in that state."

"Especially me?" I felt like a toddler who couldn't grasp something. I didn't like the feeling of asking so many questions but the thought had never occurred to me.

_He's a man. He doesn't want you to see him cry._

"You mean so much to me. I care about you more than anyone else in the world. It's like the different between hurting a stranger or something you love."

"I would rather neither," I mumbled and he laughed, a sweet and innocent laugh that I had long missed.

"Ah, Hana," was all he said. He may have meant to say more but I wasn't going to wait to find out. I reached up and pulled his mask down from his face. Then I stood on my tippy toes and Kakashi leaned over a bit so I could plant a kiss on his lips.

When the kiss stopped I looked into his eyes and hastily blurted out, "I love you." Kakashi smirked and pressed his forehead to mine, rubbing our noses together in little butterfly kisses.

"I love you too, my Uindo." I giggled at the little nickname for me. It was funny how that name had once caused so much trouble between us. Yeesh, we caused so much drama over the littlest things. We really need to do something about that. But at the time Kakashi pulled me down to the couch with him and wrapped me in his arms. My face was pressed into his chest which I noticed just then was bare. I breathed in his sweet smell of grass, peppermint, and some odd smell that I loved but didn't know what it could possibly be—I called it the Kakashi smell. I soon fell asleep, the beating of his heart being my lullaby.

So that's what happened! Are you less confused now? I really need to stop talking to myself. I finally returned to reality and saw Kakashi right in front of me. By the way his mask creased I could tell he was smirking in amusement. What now? I whined in my head. He then mouthed the words "_I do" _and I noticed I was embarrassing myself again.

"I do," I said, breathily. Kakashi's smirk turned into a smile. I don't know how to explain it. I just knew because his mask would crease in different ways when he did different facial expressions. He then brought his hand to his mask and moved to pull it down. I gasped. "Kakashi, no!" But just then flower petals fell from above us, creating a shield from the public's intruding gaze.

It was once again just him and me. Nothing but Kakashi. He pulled me into a passionate kiss and I was grateful for the cover of the flowers. He pulled away to soon and I opened my eyes to see a lopsided smirk. I smiled back and giggled, pulling his mask back up and covering it. That's when I came up with his nickname. His Uindo to my Shika. I rearranged the symbols in his name and came up with Shika.

Shika: nothing but.

I laughed, the flowers having stopped falling, and turned to the crowd of people. They clapped and Kakashi and I walked down the aisle. He made sure to hold onto me tightly so I couldn't embarrass myself any further. I looked up to his eyes again. The world around me becoming a haze. And I saw nothing but Kakashi.

_Nothing but…it's quite fitting, _I thought with a huge grin and started skipping, swinging the hand I had entwined with Kakashi's, and giggling like I was off my rocker.

Maybe I was…who really knows?

Sure, I had Sasuke to worry about still. To worry about his lost childhood and painful past. To worry about if he would ever accept love again. I had Naruto who still had terrible nightmares and tried to hide every ounce of pain, loneliness, and sadness. I had Ino who didn't have a mother and tried to act too mature sometimes, never really experiencing life. I had Tenten who felt haunted at every corner and tried to cope with it by distancing herself from others. I had Kakashi who had trust issues and didn't want to open up to be hurt. And then there was me. I felt responsible for everything and lived with it by trying to torture myself.

We were an odd bunch, with a lot of problems. But when were together—oh when we were together we weren't normal, but we were a family.

Nothing mattered…_nothing but_ my love, my life…my family.

* * *

**_A/N_: A special thanks to hippielicious, who is just awesome in a million ways.**

**This chapter is dedicated to her **

**and the chapter before this is dedicated to my sister.**


	17. Trip

Enjoy, all my wonderful readers. ^-^

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**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Seventeen**_

Everything was perfect. After the wedding, we all dispersed to a beautifully decorated building. It had the same color scheme as the wedding: mostly white with orange hints. The room crowded quickly and I found myself being pulled away to talk to different people. Kakashi was quiet as I did most of the talking.

"Ah yes," I responded, pink coloring my cheaks. "I didn't want them to feel left out! I mean, just imagine how they'd feel!" The elderly couple laughed and nodded, continuing talking and talking….and talking…and talking. I then vaguely noticed them ask me a question. Kami, I wasn't paying attention! Agh!

"We can't tell you all our secrets now can we?" Kakashi said secuctively and then gave a wink. My mouth probably hung all the way to the floor. Since when was he paying attention? And like that, I was whisped away.

"Hana! Kakashi! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!" I was caught in a tight hug by some middle aged women. I had absolutely no idea who she was. Heck, I knew less than half the people here! Gah.

"Oh, thank you," I said sweetly and she pulled away.

"I expect to see children pronto!" she said and I looked sheepishly toward Kakashi then back to the lady. "So you better take a long and secluded honeymoon, you here me? Eh?" She wiggled her eyebrows and I became beat red. Agh! People are so embarrassing!

"Oh trust me, Jiruichi-san, I won't be sharing Hana anytime soon." The lady beamed happily. And again, woosh! I need a nap. Like a month long nap. A lady younger than me came up to me and eyed me suspcisiously.

"So this is her, huh?" she looked me up and down and I squirmed under her intense gaze. "Well if you ever get bored, you know where to find me." I took in a sharp intake of air.

Oh, _hell_ no!

"What's your name again?" I asked her sugar sweetly.

"Ai Ryutzi," she said, putting a hand on her hip. She was a good few inches taller than me. I didn't care. I stood on my tippy toes so I was at her height. Then I jabbed my index finger into her colar bone.

"Well, Ai, you can take your slutty ass away from here and my _husband_ and go find some scum that actually wants you," I said jabbing her with each word. She backed up a few steps but I stepped forward. "If you don't, I will make you wish you did." The girl gulped audibly before turning around briskly and strutting away quickly. Kakashi chuckled beside me and I huffed, putting my heals down and standing at my normal height.

"You're too good looking," I whined to Kakashi, looking over at him. He chuckled again. My body tingled all over and I smiled. I loved his chuckle.

"You should see what I have to put up with."

"Wait, what?"

"Nevermind, Hana."

"No, I want to know."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Haaanaaa…." A sudden clinking of a glass made Kakashi and me stop arguing. We looked up to a little stage where we were attacked with unnaturally bright green.

Agh, my eyes!

"I would like to make a speech, for my dear friend Kakashi and his beautiful bride, Hana." Oh no. Who gave him permission to speak? I looked over Kakashi who looked guilty.

"How could you?" I whispered to him accusingly.

"He caught me at my worst." I groaned and looked up to Gai. It couldn't be that bad, right?

"Kakashi and I have been bitter rivals since I could remember." Kakashi scoffed. I elbowed him in the side. Be nice, I told him with my eyes. "Our score being fifty-one to fifty—me having the fifty-one of course." Again Kakashi scoffed. I didn't even bother to elbow him and rolled my eyes. "But now, I must say that Kakashi is winning. He has married such a youthful and spirited young woman and I find myself in the shadow. I rememer back when the two didn't even get along. They tried to strangle each other everywhere they went. Now they're youthful and being youthful together." How many times can a person say youthful? "Hana has become a very _mature _woman—" he cleared his throat. "And my good friend, Kakashi, has become a very formidable enemy. I wish them all of luck. Let us raise our glasses!" Everyone did so. "To Kakashi and Hana, that they be youthful and multiply!"

"Amen!" "Agreed!" "Could'nt have said it better myself!

I blushed darkly again. Is everyone in this village perverted? Kakashi raised his glass and I soon followed, slamming mine gently into his. Then we drank it and I felt instantly refreshed. I looked at my empty glass and then to Kakashi's which was still mostly full of champagne. I grabbed his quickly and guzzled it down, my throat burning as the alcohol went down. I sighed contently. Where can I find more of this?

Then was the cutting of the cake. I went over to it with Kakashi and giggled profoundly when I saw it. See, I left Kakashi to get the cake so I had never seen it before. The two little people on the cake had their hands up in fists, ready to fight. The man, although he didn't have the gravity defying hair that I so loved, had a black mask painted on his face. The woman, although looking nothing like me, had a dark pinkish red color on her cheeks. Yep, that definitely sums it up.

I looked over at Kakashi and smiled. _It's perfect_. His mask crinkled in a smile back. We cut a piece of cake together and Kakashi caught me when I pushed too hard on the nife and nearly lost balance in the proccess. Then, when he was supposed to get a forkfull of cake and feed it to me romantically, he shoved the cake in my face.

My mouth probably fell to the floor again.

Oh no, he didn't!

I cut another piece, scooped it up with my hand and splattered it across his mask and face, rubbing it in with my fingers. The people around us laughed and I could hear Kakashi's laugh along with theirs. I sighed contently. _Perfect._

Next came presents. The first one I opened was a bottle of champagne. Yeah, I opened that on the spot. I took a sip of it before opening the next box. Inside sat things that I really rather not think about. I blushed and pushed the box away, pulling another toward me. I got a bunch of random house things like a toaster, coffee maker, fancy wine glasses, some pots and pans, pillow and bed sheets, other house things, and other more private stuff that I would _never _use and would forever _refuse _to talk about.

I took the bottle of champage with me as we went around talking to more people. I noticed a little while later that it was empty and groaned unhappily. Where had it all gone? I disposed of the empty bottle on one of the many tables and Kakashi pulled me over to the large amount of space in the middle of the room. Then started our dance. It was a good thing I had taken dance for so many years as a kid—not a goat! You know, a child. A _human_ child. I was never a goat. Why would I have been? _Why wouldn't you have been?_ Well why wouldn't I have been? That's a good question. My brain couldn't wrap around it so I shrugged and enjoyed the dance.

"Mmm, Kakashi," I said into his ear.

"Yes, Hana?"

"Can we leave?" He chuckled.

"No, not yet."

"But I want to go…and be alone." He chuckled again, his chest purring against mine.

"Not until tonight, Uindo." I put my lower lip out even though he couldn't see it, my head laying on his shoulder. The night was long, filled with more people I didn't know, more embarrassing moments to myself, and more talking of making children. Agh! My face turned red.

After dancing a few dances with Kakashi, someone put his hand on Kakashi's arm and beckoned Kakashi to let him dance with me. Kakasi gestured for the person to and I saw Naruto. My face lit up and I grabbed onto him and began dancing with him.

"Is this as boring to you as it is to me?" I asked him and he laughed.

"Well, Ino's here…so…" I laughed.

"Ah, that's true. I have Kakashi, but the old women keep taking him away from me." Another laugh.

"You may have some competition," Naruto kidded. Is that a verb for baby goats too? Just baby goating! Ha ha. No, I don't think so.

"Nah, they only wish." The rest of the dance with Naruto was quiet but pleasant. That's the kind of aura Naruto gave off. He shown with charisma, a kind spirit, and an atmosphere that just made people want to be around him. Me having competition? I scoffed. Ino is going to be the one worried about competition. It was already starting to happen. Naruto was maturing and maturing quite handsomely at that. But Naruto would definitely have competition also. Ino was turning into a beautiful young woman. She had always been a pretty child, but now…now she was trully blossoming.

I turned to see Tenten leaning against a wall, people talking around her but no one was standing next to her or trying to get her attention. She sat there silently, eyes open and absorbing everything and everything around her. Not one detail got past her and her eyes met mine. She gave me a half attempt at a smile. I smiled back at her. She was Ino and Naruto's opposite. She was pretty, but lacked the longed for blue eyes and blond hair. She had grown a lot from when I had first met her. She used to be shorter than me. Not now, she was a good four inches taller than me. At least. She had a muscle-y kunoichi build, a nearly flat chest, and minimal curves. But she was in no way manly. She had a definite feminine feel about her. She was beautiful in her own way. If only she'd let her hair out of those tight buns every once in a while. I need to find someone for her. She's so lonely seeing all of us with someone else so important. She knows I love her, Kakashi loves her, and Naruto loves her, but she wants more than that. She wants my Kakashi, or Naruto's Ino. She wants that _someone. _I sighed, turning away and pushing back the urge to fret and stress over her.

I caught sight of grafity defying silver hair and smiled, heading in that direction. I walked up and stood next to Kakashi and he put an arm loosely around my waist. He continued talking to whomever he was talking to and I didn't bother to pay attention. I looked up and mused about is hair. Since it's already silver, what will happen when his hair greys? Or has it already greyed? I gigled. No, he's always had that silvery hair. Oh gosh, I gasped. What if he balds early? My mood dropped and I pulled one of my hands through his hair. I love his hair. I love it. He can't lose it! Gah! Is there a jutsu to reverse it?

"Hana?"

"Heh?" I blinked back to reality.

"I was just telling Iruischi-san about our future plans." Future plans? We really didn't have any. I noticed Kakashi looking a bit anxious and had to stifle a giggle.

"Iruischi-san, we are definitely planning on having children. Several if fate permits. We plan to raise them in the house we bought a shot time ago. Obviously, we will enroll them into the Academy when they come of age. And for Kakashi and I? Well, we'll continue living in that lovely house together until we grey—" If that's possible for him, I mused. "—and grow old. Naruto and Tenten are welcome to stay with us as long as they desire, but I doubt they will want to too much longer. They have such promising futures ahead of them." That struck the chord. The man's eyes lit up. Oh, I'm good.

"Ah yes, indeed. I hear that Naruto is even being considered for hokage!" he said happily, his eyes shutting in a smile. Hokage? Woah.

"Rumors, rumors. But he certainly has the ability and potential."

"Indeed. That boy could have the world if he wanted it. There's just something about him that draws people to him. Just look at him!" I did. I turned to the side and looked at Naruto whose hand was around Ino's. I smiled. Aw, cute! He had many people his age and older surround him and talking to him. Unlike Tenten who simply stood there as a shadow, Naruto was the buzz of conversation and the center of attention. I was happy for Naruto but looked over sadly at Tenten. She had remained where she was. She checked around her, looking for any immediate or un-immediate threat. Oh, Tenten.

"Yes, but the same could be said for Tenten," I said, turning back to the man. What was his name? Iruki? Iruka? Iruchi?

"Ah," the Iru-man said and paused. "But she has a very different path awaiting for her."

"What do you mean?" I said quickly, confusion showing on my face.

"I see her more in the lines of ANBU black ops, criminal investigations, or the torture department hidden beneath Konoha. She has a very different feel about her."

"What kind of feel? I don't notice it."

"That's because you're blinded by your love for her, Hatake-chan. But she has a dangerous feel about her. Almost like the Uchiha had before he left." My gaze darted toward her again. Her eyes were narrowed at a person that was standing near her. He was a young man around her age, who was going to approach her. Probably to ask her to dance. I couldn't tell what either was saying but whatever she said, she said with her eyes narrowed and words tight. The man darted away seconds later. I looked back at the Iru-man.

"She…she just needs some time. Some people to love and care for her," I said, more trying to convince myself than the man beside me.

"I pray to Kami you're right, Hatake-chan. No one wants another like the Uchiha on the loose." The man then walked away and my mood plummetted. Could Tenten…could she run away too? Kakashi wrapped his arms around me.

"She's not going anywhere, Hana. She has a reason to stay."

"So did Sasuke," I sighd. "but he left anyway." I was so afraid of losing another family member. Even all the alcohol in my system couldn't make my thoughts unclear enough for me to not worry. It was always with me. I would always worry about losing my family. Whether it be to another, to revenge, or to death itself.

The after party finally ended and my family left for home. I pushed through the doors first, happy to be home. I sighed happily. "Home sweet home!" I called and practically ran to the room. "Argh! Kakashi, can you help me?" Kakashi laughed and came into the room, shutting the door and helping me pull off the incredibly complicated white dress. Then his lips attatched to mine and I became light headed. All the sudden we were both on the bed and I moaned.

"Ew! At least wait till we're asleep!" Naruto whined and Kakashi and I chuckled, but resumed. Ah. I love you so much, Kakashi.

I love you forever and ever and ever.

Till the end and even after.

Forever after.

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_(Naruto)_

I hesitated at the door of mom and Kakashi's room, afraid of what might be happening on the other side. I put my ear to the door and heard no sounds. Here goes nothing! I reach for the handle and it suddenly bursts open. Mom gasps.

"What are you doing creeping at the door? You gave me a heart attack!" she cried, putting a hand over her heart, closing her eyes, and acting faint. If she's feeling faint now! I grinned but then my face became solemn. She already said no once.

"Mom?" I asked, completely serious. She must have noticed and stood normally.

"Yes?"

"I…I want to travel with Jiraiya. It—"

"No! Absolutely not!" She suddenly yelled.

"Please? I don't see why you won't let me go." I'm not a little kid. I _need_ to go on this trip. I _need _the pervy sage to train me. Why can't she see that?

"Naruto…I…I can't let you go."

"Why not? I'm not a kid, mom! I can take care of myeslf just fine!" Angry was an understatement. Her gaze went to the floor and I suddenly felt guilty. What came over me? Why did I yell?

Why am I so angry all the sudden?

"N…Naruto!" Hana gasped.

"What?" I yelled.

"You…you're eyes, they're different!" Different?" "And your chakra…it's all…weird…not your normal kind."

Shit.

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(Hana)

Why is he being covered in red chakra? Oh, Naruto! What's wrong?

"Can I help?" I asked, uncertain of what I could possibly do. I didn't even know what was wrong.

"Stop trying to change topics! Why won't you let me go?" He nearly growled. It sounded almost like an animal. I shivered. Where is this coming from? Why is he so angry? The chakra prickled at my skin and another shiver went up my spine. If I don't respond he's just going to get angrier. If I respond wrongly he will get angrier. I need to calm him.

"Because…because I don't want to lose you too," I whispered quietly. The red chakra immediately disappeared.

"You don't want to lose me?" he asked in confusion.

"I already lost Sasuke…I…I didn't stop him from leaving. But you," I said and looked him in the eyes. "I _can _stop you from leaving. I love you, Kakashi loves you, and so does Tenten. You are the only son I have. It'd be like losing Sasuke all over again. I don't care if I have to fight you to keep you here. I will."

"Oh, mom!" Naruto said and wrapped me up in his arms. He was already huge compared to me but I sighed and breathed in his smell. "I never thought about it hurting you."

"I know, Naruto, I know…" I said and hugged him back. "I love you more than the stars, squirt…and if you have to go—well, I won't stop you."

"What?" Naruto gasped and let go of me, eyes searching my face.

"I said if you go, I will support you. This is obviously something you really want to do. I can't have you forever…that's not fair. You can go with Jiraiya, but just give me one reason. Give me the reason you want to do this."

_Don't say to become stronger…don't say to become stronger. I-I can't take that. I can't. It will be too much like Sasuke. Naruto, you have too much of a future! You could capture the stars if you wanted to! You're practically hokage already!_

"I…I…" Naruto hesitated, eyebrows knotting. He sighed, then made eye contact. "I want to become stronger—"

No! No, no, no!

"So that I can bring Sasuke back." I felt light headed. I looked up into his sad blue eyes. He still blamed himself for Sasuke leaving. I bit my lip.

"That…it…that's a good reason." Naruto's face brightened.

"Really? You'll let me go?" I smiled back at him.

"It's not like I could've stopped you anyway," I laughed. "But yes, that's a good reason. It's a good intention that is meant to bring about good. There's nothing wrong with it." Naruto pulled me into another bone crushing hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he yelled and I laughed.

"You're squishing me," I said and he laughed, putting me down. "You better go pack." He smiled and bounded across the house to his room. I laughed at him and held onto the door frame for support. It's like he's moving out and becoming a grown up. Ugh. I sound like a grandma again.


	18. Shopping

Thank you everyone for the favorites.

Enjoy.

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**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Eighteen**_

(Sasuke)

Panic rushed through me. There were no lights on. No one was on the streets. I pushed myself forward, my footfalls echoing into the eerie silence. _Not again!_ I skid to the left and I heaved open the large wooden doors in front of me.

I sprinted down the hallway, ignoring the rooms on my side which I knew were empty. I rushed to the weapons room and that's where _it _happened. All over again. The slash of blood and a scream that I vaguely recognized as my own. Another slash of crimson. The two bodies lay in a heap on the ground. I pulled my eyes up to look at _him. _The shadow of a person turned his head, showing his face.

_Don't run! Stand your ground!_

My body ignored my protests and bolted from the room. Tears filled my eyes and I screamed random words that crashed into my mind. _Not that way! He'll be right there! _The figure appeared in front of me and I screamed again, my throat becoming scratchy and dry.

Words escaped his mouth and I willed my hands to move, to cover my ears. Not again. My body ignored me and the words, so ingrained into my head, replayed like they had millions of times before.

"Foolish little brother, if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me. And yet survive in an unsightly way. Run, run and cling to life."

Red splattered across my vision and I suddenly saw my parents' deaths another time. Over and over again, in the negative black and white from Itachi's Tsukunomi. My breaths came in small, gasping amounts. My heart hammered in my chest. Suddenly, a sharp stab occurred at my side…and everything became blank.

I jerked awake, gasping for oxygen. When my heart slowed its pounding in my chest, I began to interpret my surroundings. The room was dark with no windows. Across from the bed where I lay, stood a door which was open a crack. I bolted from the bed, ignoring the sweat that was across my brow. I slid behind the door and listened. No breathing. No chakra signature. I let out a small breath of air and moved from behind the door.

_No one is there._I pulled a hand through my tangled hair and sighed. I can't believe it still affects me as much as it did the first time. I become trapped in it, unable to inflict my will. _Aren't I suppposed to be able to control my own dreams?_

It was like each time I had these dreams—no, not dreams. _Nightmares_. Each time I had these nightmares they were to remind me. _Don't forget,_I could hear his apathetic voice. _Your purpose is to kill me._

A chill went up my spine and the hairs on my neck sprang up. _I-I. _I paused, taking a deep breath. I'm being ridiculous. I need to focus. I looked to the slightly open door. I need to train. I pushed the door open with a shove, forgetting the sweat that still lingerd on my forehead and the ice sharp pain in my chest.

I do hate you, I _detest _you...and I _will _kill you.

* * *

_(Tenten)_

I tried to drone out the sound of pedestrians' voices. They openly spoke of me as if I couldn't hear them. _I'm orphaned not deaf, you imbosiles. _I also tried to not fidget around so many people. Usually I'd lock myself up in my room or stay toward the training grounds during the daylight hours. During the night, there were far less people—meaning far less talk. A person bumped into my side and my eyes narrowed, right hand hovering toward my weapon pouch. I scanned the crowd and found him. Just a normal middle aged man, not even a shinobi.

I scoffed at myself and began walking again. _Settle down, Ten. They're not trying to kill you. _Yeah, but _someone _is. People are always trying to kill people. People always hurt people. Whether or not they act upon that impulse, or hide it beneath their guises—it's there. People are fake. They do and say what will benefit them at the time. When it is in their interest to be your friend, they'll be your best friend. When it is no longer in their interest, you'll be dropped to the curb.

_That's what 'friendship' is. _

"Tenten!" My muscles tightened at the sound of my name. I swirved around to see Naruto pushing his way through the mass of seemingly endless people. His bright blond hair made him a dead give away. Not something a shinobi would want. He reached me and grinned widely. "I've been looking for you."

Really? I thought you were just yelling my name for kicks. Instead I decided on saying,"Oh?"

"Yeah, I wanted to get ramen…but I don't like going alone and I was thinkg hey! Tenten would be…" And like that I droned out the rest of his endless rambling. I took a small step backward. I wouldn't admit it, but Naruto made me jumpy. His hair had grown out and his cheeks pulled in, going from childish and chubby to manly and lean. His eyes were just as blue and his hair just as blond, but just the differences in his face scared me.

He was becoming a man…and it scared me.

I let him drag me to his favorite ramen bar, but my muscles were tight and the movement was awkward. I couldn't help but feel like the Sasuke replacement. I mean, didn't he used to drag him to this same ramen shop? Naruto must have seen the look on my face and his mood dropped. He suddenly became serious and I saw pity in his eyes. Pity! I scoffed. But not at him—at me. I was embarrassed of myself. Of what I was becoming.

So I smiled my old goofy grin at him. "Yeesh, I haven't had ramen in such a long time! How long has is been?"

"Mmm, for me? About a day." I laughed and broke apart my chopsticks with enthusiasm.

"Well, not for me. I'm excited," I said and looked up to the man who ran the shop. "Hey, old man, is your cooking still as good?" He laughed, rumbling low from his belly. It was kind of nice…seeing someone laugh so light heartedly.

"I'll let you be the judge of that." I laughed, too. I just hoped it didn't look forced. Because it was. I took a tentative chopstick fool and made a face. The man at the counter's face became still and uncertainty flashed across his face. I laughed.

"Just kidding! It's still really good." Naruto smiled hugely and gave me a thumbs up. He looked happy to have me back to normal. Not that we had been really close before, but he seemed to remember me as the always happy and positive one. Which, don't get me wrong, I most definitely was. Nothing could bring me down. No force pushing against me would ever win. Because that force may have pure talent, but I had sheer willpower.

Where had all my determination gone? When had I become so depressing? _Huh, maybe when your whole family was murdered in front of your very eyes? _I bit my lip and looked guiltily down at my bowl. But when had I become so bitterly sarcastic? To the point it hurt?

"Tenten," Naruto's voice called and I blinked out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You going to finish that? Because it's getting cold."

"Naruto! Stop eating so much! I need food too!" I yelled and he rubbed his neck sheepishly.

"Hey, I was just asking."

"Nuh-uh, you were going to take it!"

"Only if you didn't respond," he admited.

"You can have it," I gave in. "I'm not that hungry."

"No," he shook his head. "You need your food."

"No, I d—"

"If you don't eat it, it will just prove you are on a diet…just like Sakura and Ino all the time." I scoffed.

"Fine, I'll eat it."

"Fine."

"_Fine."_

"You make it sound like eating it's so terrible!" The ramen man roared with a laugh.

* * *

_(Hana)_

Today's dilemma: shopping. Yes, shopping was a totally regular thing for a house wife to do. You go to the store and pick up items that are on your list, usually spending twice as much as budgeted and buying tons of stuff you have no real purpose for. That all is true. But there is also another side of shopping I had never known of before. If only someone had warned me.

I began the day by looking at myself in the mirror. _Okay, Hana. This is it. Your first official day of being a house wife._ I pulled on a pair of dark caprees and a baby blue top. I groaned when I looked in the mirror. I don't look like one. That started my day of tearing my room apart. Finally, I found a light green and white dress and pulled it on. Perfect. It had a spin affect at the bottom of the skirt and went to my knees. It was a plain square neck with the light green fabric shaped in the form of a tank top. The white went past it and ended at my elbows.

I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded in approval, giving myself a thumbs up. Then I noticed it reminded me of Might Gai and grimaced, pushing my hand down to my side. Next I pulled my hair into a bun. There was a small lump on the right, making it so it was uneven. I yanked it viciously from the ribbon and started again, pulling my hair roughly with the comb.

"Why won't it just work with me?" I whined. "Come on, hair! Why do you hate me?" When it was finally perfect I sighed contently and left the room. Of course, not before gravity decided to remind me that I was a klutz. I skipped forward and tripped over a pile of clothes that I had previously dumped on the ground in my fit to find the right outfit. I put a foot forward and caught on a silky blouse. I skidded forward, losing traction with the floor. I skidded a few feet, flailing my arms in the air with my other leg pulled up.

I slammed into the dresser and smashed my hip into the sharp corner. "Sheeghhkkkk!" I screamed, reverting to gibberish rather than cursing. I put my hands down on the dresser beside me and knocked off a vase. I piveted to grab it before it hit the ground, but sadly, the blouse was still under my foot and I slipped backward. The vase crashed to the floor in front of me and shattered. The blouse was now wrapped around my foot and I brought my foot up closer to my face so I could detangle it. While I was doing that, gravity laughed in my face again and I tumbled forward. Right onto the shattered remains of the vase.

Luckily, the foot wrapped up in the blouse came crasing down onto the vase shards and none of them pierced my foot. I could only imagine what gravity could have sprung on me with that opportunity. Attempting to not hummiliate myself more, even thought no one had really seen how clumsy I had been in the room, I walked out of the room carefully. I walked into the living room and saw Kakashi pulling on his Jonin vest.

"Kakashi!" I called and he looked up from his vest zipper to my face. A smile formed on his face with that familiar krinkle of the mask. "Thank Kami you're still here!" I grabbed onto him. "Will you please help me get this off of my foot? Please?" Kakashi loooked down and laughed. I turned a dark shade of pink as he made me sit down on the couch and put my foot up into the air. He got it off easily and continued chuckling. I huffed and scoffed off to the kitchen.

There I found my shoes oddly—oddly for me oddly—in the fridge. Obviously I hadn't just kicked them off in there. But there they lay, on the door where the eggs usually were. I didn't even sleep walk so—wait! I guess I could sleep walk. I really didn't know. It's not like any normal person would know because they're asleep. But I felt like I would at least have a feeling in my gut that said _I sleep walk. _

I spun around to see Kakashi and smiled, forgetting about pouting and pulled him into a hug. Well, obviously he was like twice my size. He stood at nearly six feet and I stood a little over five feet. Pretty much a foot difference right there. So it was more like me latching around him and him putting his face down to my head, smelling my hair. The tickle of air movement above my head made me smile and burry my face into his shoulder, smelling his sweet Kakashi smell.

"I'm surprised I'm not super hung over, given how much I drank yesterday," I admitted to Kakashi's shoulder. He laughed and his chest rumbled. Happiness clenched at my heart at the feel of his laugh against me.

"Well…"

"Well, what?" I said putting my hand up to twirl some of his hair between my fingers.

"A few sips after you got the bottle of champagne, I dumped it out onto a random plant. No one needed you tumbling around and blurting out things you wouldn't remember—I _know _you can't hold your alocohol."

"I don't have zero alcohol tolerance! I can't believe you did that," I pouted, pulling away. Of course when Kakashi gave me _that _look, I couldn't stifle a giggle and a smile crawled its way back onto my face. "Stop giving me that look."

"Hnn?"

"You know I can't fight that look. Stop. Stop it," I pulled my hands over my eyes, as if shielding my eyes from his look.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Kakashi Hatake, I swear, if you don't stop right now."

"Then what?" His breath tickled my ear and I peaked through my fingers, stifling a loud EEK!

"Then…then I'll force you to stay home."

"Hmm."

"And I'll lock you in the room."

"That really doesn't sound so bad actually," he commented. I groaned.

"All by yourself."

"Now that's no fun."

"Kakashi!"

"Yes, Mrs. Hatake?"

"Ugh!"

"Mrs. Hatake, is something wrong?"

"Yes."

"Is there a way I can help?" he mocked concern.

"Yes, it's my husband. He's a down right sarcastic jerk. Always hurting my feelings."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like me to teach him a lesson?"

"Yes!"

"Hmm…too bad." And like that, his masked lips touched my own. I giggled and pulled down his mask, eager to touch his _real _lips. He tasted sweet and I idly wondered what he ate for breakfast. Pancakes? Waffles? Then I realized it really didn't matter.

"I've got to go," he said against my lips and I sighed, warm breath fluttering on my face and butterflies flittering in my tummy.

"Yeah…" I agreed.

"I've got my team waiting for me…"

"Yeah…" I breathed out. We both just stood there in silence, holding on to eachother for a long moment. Birds chirped in the distance, and I vaguely heard some kind of grating sound, like our neighbors had finally decided we weren't the only ones who could be crazy. After the long silence, Kakashi finally spoke.

"Oh heck, I'm always late anyways."

* * *

When Kakashi left I looked in the mirror again. Ack! And I started my hair all over again—this time not in the room. I finally finished and pulled my purse over my shoulder, locking the front door behind me. I breathed in the smell of peace and adjusted the purse strap on my shoulder. _See? It's nice out. _Peaceful and quiet._ It's kind of nice, just doing trivial errands._

I had gone shopping before obviously, but I had never gone shopping officially married before. I stopped in front of a large, reknown grocery store. It was known as one of those large stores that everyone shopped at. I had never been inside and I looked apprehensively at the large glass, sliding doors. I gulped and looked around. Only one exit. Only one set of sliding doors to escape from. I tisked myself and rolled my eyes. _It's just a grocery store! Yikes! Grow a back bone!_

Hah. If only someone had warned me.

I went through the sliding doors and pulled a shopping cart from the rows of different sizes. Small, medium, or large? I decided on medium. Can't go wrong with a median. I pulled the banana sticky note from my pocket and looked at my list. _Milk. Ramen_ was written down five times, the sloppy handwriting making it hardly legible. _Eggs_. _Bananas_ was written in Kakashi's neat but to the point hand writing. It was scratched out with Naruto's handwriting saying, _Just kidding! We already have one right here!_

I burst out laughing. _Only my family!_ When I controlled myself I looked around me and noticed several middle aged women eyeing me oddly. Great, I've been here five minutes and I already don't fit in. I brushed it off and went to go find milk. There was Whole Milk, Skim Milk, One Percent Milk, and Two Percent Milk. I eyed them all. Well, whole was the cheapest…and they all looked the same…I grabbed the red labeled milk and put it in my cart. I heard a scoff near me and looked up to see a brunette woman with a scowl on her face, she motioned toward me to another woman near her.

"Look at her, getting whole milk. So unhealthy for the children. She's a terrible mother." I looked back down at the plastic thing of milk in my cart. Was there really that much of a difference? I met the eyes of the brunette woman and scoffed back at her, raising my head and not exchanging my regular milk for her "healthy" milk. Milk was milk.

I found the ramen quickly, grabbing packages of _Instaramen _and putting them in the cart. I noticed two different women pointing at me and whispering. Do these people shop in pairs? What is this? Why did no one tell me? I bit my lip and turned around, going to another aisle. I met the same tricky decision with the eggs. There were several different kinds so I grabbed the first one I saw, placing it in my cart gently. No one wanted any scrambled eggs in my cart. I giggled at my own joke and went searching for bananas. I didn't care if it had been scratched out, I was going to get them anyways. I found bananas stacked on a shelf. I grabbed a batch of yellow ones and went to set them in my cart.

"Ew, that's so unsanitary."

"And she doesn't even weigh them. So inconsiderate." I tried to ingore them, secretly seething. _They're so stupid! Ugh! I just want to beat some sense into them!_ I practically dragged my cart to the check out line. When I got there, I placed my items on the register belt and pushed the cart out in front of me for the cashier to be able to pack them into the cart. Not that I had very many. I heard another snotty snort behind me and stifled the urge to grab a near by candy bar and beat the woman to death with it.

Yes, that's a nice mental image. I sighed and rubbed my temples. Smack. Smack. Pelt. I imagined the womans screaming apologies. I couldn't, however, ignore her snide comment. "She's not even considerate enough to put down a divider. How rude." The woman's voice was pinchy and she let out of an exagerated breath, showing her displeasure.

_Oh, I'll show you displeasure!_

"Do you have any reusable bags, ma'am?" The cashier asked me and my attention went to him. It was innocent enough of a question…but recyclable bags? _Who uses those? _

"No, the plastic bags are fine," I told him uncertainly. Luckily, the boy didn't complain and hurridly put the groceries into the bag and into the cart.

"She's so not economical. You know how many ecosystems she could have just destroyed with that plastic bag?" Another snide comment, a different woman. _What is wrong with these women? _I bit my lip and my fists clenched at my sides. _Don't kill them, don't kill them. Just ignore them._

"Your total is nine dollars and thirty-nine cents," the cashier announced. I pulled out my wallet from my purse and handed him a ten dollar bill. Simple. Painless. _And there's absolutely nothing they can accuse me of by using a bill. Nothing. Hah!_

"Look at her. Just imagine how many trees she killed to get that ten dollar bill. She could have destroyed a whole rain forrest." That was it. That was the last straw! I slowly turned to the two women behind me and sent glaring daggers at them.

"Killed a tree, did I?" I asked them. The cashier gave me my receipt and change and I thrust the change into my pocket, waving the receipt out in front of me. I wripped it in half. "Oh, did I just waste another?" I wripped the halfs into half. "Oh, did I do it again?" Another wrip. "My bad." Wrip. "So sorry." I wripped it one last time and threw the pieces at them.

I breathed in quickly, still infuriated with the stupid women in front of me. I looked around and grabbed a box of tissues that were next to the register. "Do these come from trees too?" I asked innocently before throwing the box at the ground so hard that it broke and crushed. "Is this wasting trees too?" I stomped on it and rolled my foot on it. I ignored the cashier who was standing still in shock. "What about this candy wrapper? Is it made out of trees?" I honestly didn't know and wanted to know, but they didn't answer. That just made me more furious. I crushed the candy bar with my hands and then threw it at the women. The women squealed and ducked out of the way. They weren't trained shinobi, though, so the candy bar it it's mark. "Oh, I'm so sorry! It just slipped right out of my hands!"

I looked around and saw packs of cards on a display. I grabbed them and started deftly shooting them at the women like they were shurikens. They ducked behind their cart for protection. _Cowards! _I grabbed a box of toothpicks and started pelting them like ninja needles. "Dodge this!" I screamed before shooting them.

"You're crazy!" One lady screamed, hiding behind another display. I formed hand seals and blew out a wind jutsu from my mouth. It sent the items on displaying crashing to the ground and the woman.

"Oh, is this wasteful too? Or unhealthy? Or unsanitary?" The two women went screaming from the store. I huffed deep breaths, trying to calm down my rage. I looked over at the cashier who stood numbly with wide eyes. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, and calming my muscles.

_All over. Just settle down. You can leave now. _I opened my eyes and looked at the disaster I had created. Toothpicks were sticking halfway in various walls and products. Chocolate had spread itself across the ceiling and was dripping to the floor. Not sure how chocolate can drip, I mused. I turned my back to the distruction and faced the employee who was still cowaring away from me even though he was a good eighteen years old and at least eight inches taller than me.

"Just ring me up for all the groceries I destroyed," I sighed. Clicks and beeps came rushing from the cash register at a surprisingly fast rate. _Woah, did he actually count?_

"Five hundred dollars and seventy-nine cents." You have got to be kidding me! I grumbled and complained under my breath but pulled my wallet out.

"I'm going to have to put it on my credit card," I told him, sliding it in the electronic box and waiting for it to say _proccessing, please wait. _

"I'm going to have to get my manager to put through a transaction this big."

I sighed, glaring at the doors the two women had exited through.

I hate shopping.


	19. Yard Work

I obviously do not own Naruto or any of the characters besides Hana Nakamura-Hatake. I do, however, enjoy making hilariously awkward situations for them to try and get through.

Toodles!

Enjoy.

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Nineteen**_

"Kaaaakaaaaashhiiiiii!" The man in question grunted beside me. _He's really not a morning person. _He mumbled something that I didn't understand and put an arm around me, pulling me back down to lie with him. "Kakashi, no." His lips brushed against my neck.

"Mmm," I sighed contently, my body instinctively pushing itself closer to Kakashi. "No. Kakashi, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"We need to talk."

"Then talk." His lips went to the spot right below my ear. I began to melt into his touch but quickly stiffened my muscles.

"I need a job."

"Mmm."

"I don't know what to do."

"Mm-hmm."

"I'm so bored."

Silence.

"Are you paying—oh," I squeaked when he touched his teeth to my neck, grazing it and raising goose bumps all over my skin. My hands flew to my sides and started bunching up the blankets. "I-I guess that can wait. It's not that serious."

"Hmm…are you sure?" Kakashi said, his finger tips trailing from my shoulder down slowly to my wrist, then he began moving back up again. All the while placing gentle kisses from my ear to my collar bone and up to my other ear.

"Yeah," I said shakily, putting my hands on each side of his face and pulling his lips to my own. "Let's kiss."

* * *

(Tenten)

Fake smiles. Fake faces. Fake dreams. _Is this what it feels like to hit rock bottom?_ I pulled a hand through my hair and sighed. I looked around me, my eyes zoning in on any possible threats. People whispered openly about me. I gritted my teeth and focused on one step after the other. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Le—

_"Look over there!"_

_"Yeah, that's the kyuubi container."_

_"Sh! If someone heard you talking about it!"_

_"It's not safe to have him here."_

_"They should have him locked away."_

I raised my head to look at where all the adults were pointing. There in the blindingly bright orange jumpsuit, stood Naruto. His grin wavered when the whispers met his ears and he looked around sheepishly.

_Yeah, I know how it feels to be the center of their attention._

Suddenly, his head perked back up and he turned in a circle, pointing at everyone around him. A huge grin formed on his face. "Someday I'm going to be Hokage! Then you'll all respect me! Believe it!" My lips parted and my hands dropped to my sides in surprise.

_"Psh!"_

_"Good luck with that, loser."_

Naruto laughed and threw his head back. "But first—ramen!" He then proceeded to run to his favorite ramen stand, completely ignoring the people's blatant glares. I turned my head to the side, finding myself looking at my reflection. A girl with lifeless brown eyes and unkempt brown hair stared back. On her face was a constant grimace. She suddenly bit the right side of her lip and ran a hand through her bangs.

_That's me, _I thought wryly. _That's who I've become. _

The brown eyes widened. I splashed my hand through the water, disrupting the image of my reflection. Then it wasn't my face I was seeing, but Naruto's determined and cheerful face. _Someday I'm going to be Hokage! Then you'll all respect me! Believe it!_

"I believe it," I told his smiling image. His face dispersed and mine was again there. _I don't have to be like that, _I thought looking at the grimace and the set of my jaw. _I haven't hit rock bottom. _I thought of Naruto, Neji, Sasuke, and Hinata. I thought of all the people who had bad things happen to them.

_Naruto never even had a family. He grew up all by himself, being hated and beat up. Everywhere he turned he must have gotten those looks; the ones that make you feel worthless. But he picked himself up and smiled through the blood._

_Neji never had a mother. His father was killed when he was five. Even with his relatives and clan he is looked down upon because of the curse seal on his forehead. But he ignores the stares and look of disgust. He's become an accomplished shinobi._

_Sasuke had his whole clan killed in front of his eyes by his own brother. He grew up in an apartment by himself and I'm sure he heard plenty about it. I'm sure he got stares every single time he left the apartment. But he picked himself up and ignored it. He may have gone to Orochimaru, but that was his prerogative and he never gave up living._

_Hinata had her mother taken from her. Her father hates her and her clan wants her to lose her title as heiress. Everything she does is looked down upon by her clan. But she keeps on pushing forward and becoming stronger. Someday she will be heiress._

_And me? My family is killed and suddenly I don't even want to live. I don't see the purpose in friends or bonds. I forgot my old sayings that I used to use to encourage others. Why is it that I always encouraged others but can't seem to encourage myself? I need to listen to my own advice. _

I still heard the voices behind me but I stood up tall and pushed my bangs out of my eyes. _Kicks and falls may break my bones but words can never hurt me._ I skipped my way to away from the pot of water and toward the house.

"Tenten!" I looked over and saw bright green. _Lee. _He ran up to me and pulled me into an embrace. I nearly choked. _Oh, and hugs can too. _"Neji and I are going to get something to eat. Will you come with us?" I looked behind him to see Neji standing there with his arms across his chest. His face was nearly stoic but I knew him well enough to read past his mask. _Just agree to it, _it said. _He misses you too. _

And suddenly I realized I missed my old self just as much. I missed being happy and giggling, making jokes about pointless things and spending endless hours doing trivial pranks. 

_This is it, Ten! No more morning, moaning, and being depressed. You've had your time to cry your tears, now it's time to toughen up and stop acting like a baby._

"That sounds great!" I called as I was released from Lee's unbreakable hold. "I just ask one thing...anything but ramen!"

* * *

(Hana)

_Black hair, pale skin, blue eyes. Colors wisped past my vision and I found myself spinning in circles, looking for familiar faces. Pinks, purples, blues, greens, yellows, oranges, blacks, whites, golds, and silvers. Pastels, bolds, and plains. Expensive materials swirled around me all moving to the same rhythm._

_Music, I notice as I notice a string group. Harps, violins, guitars, oboes and instruments I didn't even know. I turn to my left and see them. Sharp, deep blue eyes—the sign of royalty, of a pure blood line. Sleek black hair with a slight wave—a show of money. And finally, pale creamy white skin—a sign of power. A smile fluttered onto my face and I waved at the man and woman entering the room._

_"Mommy! Daddy!" A large gold crown sat on the man's head, with rubies, emeralds, diamonds, pearls, and other expensive rocks I didn't know. A small golden tiara sat on the woman's head, with a deep blue sapphire in the center and two green emeralds on the side. A short trimmed beard framed the man's face and long dark curls framed the woman's. _

_"Hanayo-hime," a voice called behind me and I turned to see a graying haired woman. Gentle light blue eyes and a soft smile greeted me. _

_"Atsuko!" I called, running into her arms. _

_"Come child, it is far too late for you to still be awake," she said as she lightly pulled me out of the ballroom._

_"But I want to dance too!" I pouted, digging my heels into the ground. "I had lots of dance practice."_

_"I know you have, Hanayo-hime," she said, a smile still present on her face. "But don't you want to be awake bright and early tomorrow when your aunt and uncle visit?"_

_"Don't forget Ayame! She's visiting too!" I said cheerfully, finally letting my nanny take me to my room and tuck me in. She kissed my forehead and patted the blankets affectionately. I could still hear the hum of music from the ballroom and insisted she read me a night-time story. She did, of course. She always did. _

_"I love you, Atsuko."_

_"I love you too, dear." Again she kissed my forehead and my eye drooped like weights, sleep tugging at my consciousness. I was just barely awake enough to hear her mumble, "More than you'll ever know."_

I bolted upward in my bed, my breathing coming in short and labored breaths. My past…how could I have forgotten it so easily? How can you forget something like that? I looked down at the man lying next to me. His gravity defying hair stuck out at all angles, almost looking like a spiky afro. His usual mask lay on the bedside table, leaving his masculine features for me to nearly drool over. How can I possibly tell him this with no prior warning? _Oh hey, I just thought you'd want to know I'm a princess somewhere! In case you were ever wondering. _Um, no. I'm not _that _crazy. I laid myself back down in his arms. I just need to forget again. It can't be that hard—I already did it once. No one needs to know…no one will find out.

Hah, if only I knew!

* * *

Today's dilemma: yard work. Remember me wanting a large yard and garden? It's true that I wanted those things and still do, for that matter. But it is also true that I believe the neighbors think I'm crazy. I won't deny that I have some crazy moments, but that does not make _me _crazy. Just my moments. Does that make any sense? Hmm. Anyways…

I finally got Kakashi to get out and get me some flowers and vegetable plants. So here I was now, all decked out in gardening gear. I had those ugly shoes that are named after some animal. Fish, Roosters, Sheep, Ducks, Crocodiles? Something like that. I had my hair tied up in a knot and a bandana around my head to keep my hair away from my face. I had gardening gloves and some kind of apron that Kakashi had gotten me. On the front it read: "Got weeds?" I think it has something to do with those commercials. I really don't get it though. Got milk? It should say: "Got skim, whole, one percent, or two percent milk?" That would sum it all up better.

The hard part was dragging all of the crates of flowers to the front lawn. It made a grating sound on the gravel from the back of the house, to the side of the house, to the front of the house. It made me think that maybe that was what my neighbors had been doing before when I thought they finally went crazy. Hey now, if you spin that around that means that I think I'm finally going crazy. Um, no. Definitely not.

When I got all of the crates over I had to find a shovel. I found one in the tool shed behind the house. I couldn't find a small one so I ended up getting a big one and needed to use two hands to use it. I dragged it to the front of the house with that ERCHZ sound of the metal on the gravel.

When I got it over I threw it on the ground and kicked it a few times for good measure. Hey, it hurt me first! I headed out to find a hose and I actually found one. But I also found that gravity still hated me and wanted to make sure I remembered. As I was hosing down the yard, I managed to trip over the hose. I twisted to avoid falling but ended knotting the hose around my leg. When I tried to undo that said knot, I fell over face first into the wet patch of dirt I had just hosed down. I rolled over to my side and attempted to undo the knot to no avail.

I am not proud to admit that I lashed out in anger and grabbed the giant shovel at my side. I also furiously attacked the hose to try and cut it. While screaming and attacking the hose, mud covered and sopping wet, one of my neighbors decided to let her child outside to play.

It really was a misunderstanding when I screamed at the hose. "You stupid worthless little thing! I'm going to kill you! I will chop you into a million pieces and make you wish you were never born—er made, or however you came to be!" The child, naturally, thought I was talking to him and started screaming for his life. In his own stupidity, he tripped over a crate of flowers and went face first into my muddied patch of garden dirt.

_At least I didn't trip him with the hose, _I thought happily. I blinked a few times before rushing to the house. _"_Knock on wood, knock on wood!" I didn't make it, though. Instead, I tripped when the house tripped the boy who had finally stood up and the hose jerked. I fell forward; taking the monster of a shovel with me and having it slip through my hands. It crashed through the window and I knocked on the wood shutters just in case I had managed to jinx myself again.

The sound of glass shattering must have alerted the neighbors because the woman was running to open her door. Poodle poopies! I'm going to look like a crazy woman! So I ran over to the kid. "I'm sorry! I'm sure this is all a misunder—Agh!" I tripped over a crate and found myself falling toward the boy. It made me think about how I had just called the boy stupid for tripping over a crate. That means I indirectly called myself stupid. Woah, I'm definitely just a wee bit weird.

The woman came out to see me flying toward her child and screaming at the top of my lungs. The kid joined in screaming as my arms flung around me like I was some kind of bird. It made me wonder if I could fly if I used some kind of blanket or something as wings. I stashed that in the back of my mind for later and continued with my screaming. The woman's screams joined the boys and mine and that must have gotten the other neighbors attention because they came out and started screaming too.

So to sum it all up, I was a dripping muddy mess when Kakashi came home shortly after. I had broken a window, a shovel, two crates of flowers, and probably most of the neighbors' eardrums. Apparently, one of our darling neighbors contacted the shinobi police about a—and I quote—"wild crazy woman trying to attack a kid." Not a goat. A person. A child. A boy. Bad terminology on their part, but that's not the point—I am _not _crazy. I'm just a little hyper and have an over active mind with an over active imagination. Nothing to worry about. I also have a short attention span, but that _is _something you should worry about. It should keep you up late at night in your bed. You should lie there thinking: "I better take precautions as to not bore Hana Hatake. She could kill us all with her ADD."

But maybe the neighbors were already thinking that. Hmm.


	20. The Past

**This story has gotten up to about 180 pages!**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Twenty**_

_(Tenten)_

Naruto was leaving. He was starting his adventure with Jiraiya to train. He grunted when I pulled him into a tight hug. I knew I must have seemed bipolar, one day not wanting any form of human interaction and the next thriving on it like it were my life source. But I didn't care because in a way it was.

"I'm going to miss you," I said. My voice was muffled by his jumpsuit but I knew he understood me. He patted my back and chuckled sheepishly.

"I'll be back before you all can miss me." _Lies. _I was going to miss him the second he left those gates and I couldn't see his back anymore. But I nodded cheerfully as we pulled away.

"Keep yourself safe, Naruto," I told him punching his arm playfully. "I want you in one piece when you get back so I can beat you up as a training buddy." Naruto laughed, his voice echoing off the buildings.

"When I get back you're going to have to get used to being the beaten training buddy. I'll be strong enough…strong enough to bring Sasuke back." I smiled. I knew he was going to come back way stronger. I just hoped I would be stronger as well. I no longer was trying to become stronger through straight will power and brutal training sessions by myself. No, now I was trying through will power, brutal training sessions, and with other people. I had found the key that had been missing.

"I'm sure you will be," Hana said cheerfully. I'll admit that I kind of fed off of her cheerfulness. I was still getting used to this whole not being a cry baby thing and Hana was the perfect role model.

"Naruto," Kakashi said and went over and patted him on the head. "Take good care of Jiraiya." They both laughed and I noticed Hana and I didn't get the joke.

"Oh, I will, Kakashi-sensei," he said and just then the man in question arrived.

"Sorry I'm late, I was busy…with important business," the white haired man stated with a goofy grin. I looked over at Kakashi and realized that his sensei had been this guy's student. I guess teachers really do rub off on their students. It was funny seeing his reaction to the thing he usually did.

"I'm sure you were taking care of a very important matter," Kakashi said, shutting his eyes and smiling in fake enthusiasm. Yeah, he didn't take it so well when it was him on the receiving end. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well Naruto, it's time we leave," Jiraiya said and Naruto nodded. They began walking away but he turned around and smiled at all of us.

"Bye! When I get back we better have a ramen feast!" We all laughed in our own ways. Kakashi with his chuckle, Hana with her giggle, and me with my own laugh. It was nice, finally feeling like I was a part of a family again. I waved Naruto off and looked at the two people beside me. The people that had offered to adopt me. They were definitely the kindest and most perfect couple in all the Fire Country—in the entire world, even! I smiled. Someday, someday I was going to find someone that made me feel like that.

Until then, I looked over at the awaiting training fields. I have to become stronger.

* * *

_(n/a)_

Twenty-six years ago, a war erupted between the Fire Country and the Water Country. The Water Country was based on deities and royals, unlike the Fire Country that was based on ninja leaders called Hokages. That is why the Water Country soon found themselves on the losing side of the war. Villages crumbled to the ground with these mysterious things called jutsus, and the soldiers of the Water Country had no way to defend themselves from the onslaught of trained shinobi.

Eventually, that war was brought to the emperor's castle. The soldiers had the advantage of water upon fire until an elite force on ninja, the Uchiha's, brought their lightning users. The ground shook, the sky roared, and many lives were taken. Among those taken, was the King's niece Ayame. To preserve the royal bloodline, King Nakamura sent his two children with their aunt and uncle to illegally cross the border into the Fire Country and onto the winning side. It was not impossible due to the fact that said aunt and uncle already resided in the Fire Country.

Kazuhiko, the king's elder child, broke apart from the group when they were reaching the border. Ninja were approaching rapidly and he went back to intercept them. The younger child, Hanayo, refused to let her brother leave. She tried to go with him but she was only four and her aunt and uncle easily stopped her.

Hanayo and her aunt and uncle reached the hidden leaf village safely, but none of them ever saw Kazuhiko again. Every year on the date, Hana would go to the KIA memorial stone and place a flower by the grave for her brother who would never be remembered as a peace maker between the two angry counties. A brother who would not be put down into history as giving up his life for the ones he loved.

All of this leads to the fact that Hana now stood over the KIA memorial stone with a black rose in my hand. She leaned onto the stone with her arms and cried into them. She was glad for the privacy when she shook and sobbed.

_"That flower is so boring, Hiko," I pouted as he picked up a black colored rose. In my hands, sat a colorful assortment of roses—no doubtably dyed to become so bright. _

_"I like that they're dark," he said as he paid for them. We exited the small shop together and walked down the main street of the village._

_"Why? They're so sad and gloomy."_

_"They remind me of all the people that have given their lives so that we can be here today, buying flowers," he said and paused in his walk. "Look over there," he added as he pointed to a small white house."The woman there lost her husband to the war and over there, that man lost his son to the war. But do you see them crying about it? No. They're proud of their loved ones that died fighting for what's right."_

_We continued walking and I snuck looks at my brother. He was taller than me, but most people were. He had sleek black hair like my own and it went to his chin in spiky straight locks. His blue eyes matched mine perfectly and people usually assumed we were twins. I would have believe it too if it weren't for the eight year age difference._

_"If I died," he said out of the blue, "I wouldn't want anyone to cry over me. I would want them to be happy and proud about all the people I saved."_

_"I love you, brother." He jumped out of his speech and turned to me smiling. His eyes closed in a smile and I quickly smiled back._

_"I love you too, sister."_

_"When I get older, I want to be just as smart and cool like you!" He laughed loudly, his voice echoing down the street. His laugh always made me smile because it was so pure and genuine._

_"Don't worry, Hana. You will be much cooler and smarter than me."_

_"Pinky promise?"_

_"Pinky promise."_

"I'm sorry, Hiko," I gasped out between sobs. "I can't help the tears. I'm grateful that you saved me. I would never be here today without you. I wouldn't have met Kakashi, Naruto, Tenten, or Sasuke. I wouldn't have met Ino or Sakura. I would have never fallen in love—I wouldn't have even learned that "l, m, n, o, p" wasn't one letter in the alphabet. I love you."

I calmed my racing heart and running tears and sat down on the cold wet ground. It had rained earlier which was quite fitting for my mood and the day. A long time later, I forced myself to go on with my day. _I wouldn't want anyone to cry over me. _

When I neared home I met a very interesting sight. Several caravans of horse coaches. Soldiers in chain armor stood stiffly beside them. _Weird, my neighbors are weird. They're always snooping into my business like I'm some freak but they're the ones with horse coaches all over everyone's lawn._

I moved closer to the home and finally noticed what they were all looking at. My house. Kakashi's, Naruto's, Tenten's and mine. Had the neighbors finally tried to get rid of us? That could hilarious. I walked to the front door and pulled it open apprehensively. Right inside sat Kakashi and I let out the breath of air I had been holding. That was until I noticed the other people in our house.

"Kakashi, what's going on?" I asked him, stepping slightly into the house. All eyes were suddenly on me and I fought the urge to try and sink into the shadows. I could tell that Kakashi's lips went into a straight line by the way his mask crinkled. _He's upset about something._

"Why don't you tell me…Hanayo-hime?"

In the same lady-like manner that possessed me what seemed like forever ago all of the sudden, I swore.

"Shit."

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

All these people appeared out of nowhere. On top of that Hana was nowhere to be found. I had awakened to find her gone. And on the top of all that, they tell me that Hana is the heir to the entire Water Country? Talk about a horrible day.

"She was thought to be dead after the siege of the castle twenty-six years ago. No one knew that her father had sent her here to live with her aunt and uncle. We didn't know about her until we caught word about a wedding between a Kakashi Hatake and Hana Nakamura."

"You're telling me she's the only heir to an entire country?" And she didn't tell me about it? I wanted to add on, but had the self restraint to say it to myself.

"Yes, Mr. Hatake," the older woman spoke. "That's exactly what I'm saying. I'll ask you again, where is she?" Just then the door opened. Hana sat there with her blue eyes widened in what I could only guess was shock. She wasn't expecting anyone to find out.

"Kakashi, what's going on?" She gasped out, her breaths becoming quicker and quicker. I bit my tongue, so as not to say something I would later regret. She had lied to me this whole time.

"Why don't you tell me…Hanayo-hime?" Her eyes grew even bigger—if that were possible—and she took a sharp intake of breath. A few seconds later, I barely caught her mumble something I had never heard come from her lips.

"Shit." She swore too, apparently. I guess there was a lot about her I didn't know about. What had I expected? Our whole relationship started by her lying to me about being a completely different person. Why wouldn't she lie about being someone else? Hana Nakamura, a girl with no family and not a cent to her name. At least that is what I believed. She could probably have anything she wanted with just the snap of her fingers.

_"She's someone important's daughter, so don't point fingers or even hang out with her." I looked up at my father, his eyes locked on the little black haired girl in front of us. I instantly hated her. My dad noticed her more than he noticed me—his only son!_

_"She looks like a wimp," I bit out._

_"Kakashi Hatake!" he raised his voice and finally looked at me. Finally, you're looking at me._

_"She does! She looks like a spoiled brat." The girl must have heard what I said because she stuck her nose up and straightened her dress, even though it didn't have any wrinkles in it._

_"Kakashi, catch me if you can!" Obito called to me, circling around me and taunting me._

_"Oh, you're on!" I chased Obito, slowly catching up to him. That was until I tripped and fell face first into the ground. Yuck. Obito laughed loudly and I bolted back up and tripped him when he wasn't paying attention. He fell to his face too. He grunted and grabbed onto me. He yanked on my shirt collar and managed to tackle me to the ground._

___"Ugh!" I grunted as Obito jumped up and ran again._

___"Can I play?" A voice suddenly called. I looked over and noticed the girl, 'Hana', my dad had talked about. Obito, though, still believed in coodies._

___"Ew, it's a girl," he blurted out, throwing his hands in front of him like that would save him from the make-believe germs. I was content to just stand there and glare daggers at her._

___"Please, can I play?" She begged._

___"No," I said bluntly. I wasn't going to play with her._

___"I said please," she said as she stuck a hip out. Psh._

___"So that means whenever you say please you get what you want, huh?" I said mockingly. Her hip went back in and her face changed._

___'No, I just meant-"_

___"Hana!" An old man ran over and pulled her away from us. Good._

___"Even spoiled brats don't get everything they want," I said bitterly before turning away from them. I ran quickly but Obito managed to follow me._

_"Dude, what was that about?" he asked as we slowed, gasping for oxygen._

_"She thought she could have whatever she wanted and I set her in a place."_

_"Looks more like you crushed her feelings."_

_"Good enough." I spat._

_I stood up abruptly and Hana quickly ran over to me, grabbing onto me. "Please, Kakashi, don't go. Just let me explain!" I looked down at her. At her fake tears and fake face. She was one of them. One of those royals who thought they could get whatever they wanted. Well, there's one thing she can't have._

_"Even spoiled brats don't get everything they want," I stated, pushing her off of me and pushing myself out of the house._

_

* * *

_

_(Hana)_

He really just…left. After all we had been through he still didn't trust me enough to hear my side of the story. _I didn't want you to have to worry about something that didn't even matter. I knew you worried too much already about losing those close to you and I didn't want to cause you anymore loss of sleep. _But he just left. He left me alone with all these strangers. He left. He left me. I felt the tears try to fall and I bit my lip.

"I-I…" I couldn't put my thoughts into words and in the blink of an eye, Kakashi was gone. I looked around at all the people that I didn't know.

"W-what's going on?" I asked and an elderly woman stood up beside me.

"Hanayo-hime, Kazuhiko-gyo has passed away."

"Yeah, I know that. I was there."

"No, Hanayo-hime. He—"

"Stop calling me that," I bit out. I wasn't a princess anymore. I wasn't associated with any of that anymore.

"_Hana_," the woman bit out. "Your brother passed away two months ago." _He was alive? All those lonely years I spent thinking I was all alone…he was alive? _I wondered if he felt the same way. Had he wondered if he left us there for dead like I thought we left _him_ there for dead? My heart saddened. _But I still would never see him again. I made a stupid mistake…again._

It was then that I noticed something about Kakashi's and my relationship. The reason I why I had a tendency to keep the truth from him…was because when he found out the truth, he did something to make my heart hurt. I realized that even if Kakashi had stayed there and lashed out in anger at me rather than his silent rejection, I still wouldn't have told him the truth. I turned and looked out the window, in the direction Kakashi had left.

_My heart wants…to tell you the truth…but I don' want to be hurt—again._

_

* * *

_

_**A/N: Review are always nice!**_


	21. Pain

**Warning: the title is very fitting for this chapter-it's pretty depressing.**

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Twenty-one**_

_(Tenten)_

**I** sprinted to the front gates. _I'm not going to make it! _And sure enough, when I got there she had just left. I stood there, panting for breath, and watching the caravan race away from the village. I watched as the last member of my family left. She didn't even look back. I felt an aching pain in my chest and I brought my hand up to clutch my shirt above it.

"It hurts again," I said, my voice cracking at the end. I looked back up at the gates of the village and pushed my hands down to my sides, clenching them into fists. _I'm not going to cry! _Everyone was gone. Naruto had left on his trip with Jiraiya. Kakashi had randomly disappeared a few days prior. And now, now Hana rode off into the distance with her old clan. "Am I not good enough to stay here for? Am I not good enough for you? The hell you want with me!"

"Tenten!" Hands gripped my shoulders and spun me around. I looked up into Neji's creamy white eyes. The hands on my shoulders squeezed tightly and he shook me. I noticed the tears pouring down my face and instantly felt embarrassed. I hated people seeing me cry. Hell, I hated crying. It was worse when it was someone that was closer to me—like Neji. "Ten?"

"She just left, Neji. She didn't even look back," I cried and he pulled me into a strong embrace. Tears then ran down my face freely and I didn't work to cover the sobs and hiccups. "Am I destined to live alone? To lose everyone important to me?"

"Sh, it's okay," he said, soothing my back. I knew this must be awkward for Neji and I appreciated the fact that he was trying his best to comfort me, but I was too far gone.

"I lost my whole family. Is that not bad enough?" I yelled.

"We both know that destiny is something that changes with every choice we make. I once believe in fate and destiny, but then I fought Naruto in the chunin exams and he taught me that fate is something we can fight." I loosened my tight grip on him and let my hands fall to my side.

"Neji, I just—"

"Neji-sama!" A voice called and we both turned, pulling out of the embrace. An ANBU with a fox mask ran up to us. "You are needed at the Hokage Tower immediately." I looked over at Neji as confusion marked his face. I took in a deep breath of air, savoring his smell that I recognized so easily after all the time I had spent with him. _Good-bye, Neji. _I turned on my heel and sprinted away silently, escaping before he could notice.

I ran down the same street Hana had gone down just before. When I got to the turn in the path, I didn't turn and ran toward the forest. At that point, I didn't care where I ended up or if I ended up somewhere. I just wanted to run and keep running, never stopping. I knew I wasn't just running away from Konoha, but my own emotions. If I pushed myself to my limits then I wouldn't have to focus on the ache in my chest, I could focus on the ache in my muscles. The latter was much easier to deal with.

* * *

_(Sasuke)_

I entered the small village with Kabuto at my side. The man had always given me the creeps, but I didn't let it show on my face. No, on my face was a mask of perfection; an apathetic guise with a tinge of power and superiority. I knew that if the grey haired man beside me were to turn on me, I could easily dispose of him. I'm sure he knew that too, for he stood a good distance away and didn't speak any of his usual stark comments.

The guards had attempted to ask us for some form of identification when we reached the village gate, but an Uchiha worthy glare changed their minds almost immediately. We entered at a small building and slid in the door without a glance from the villagers. We ascended the stairs and I kicked open the door at the end of the hall. A heavy set man leapt from his chair behind his desk.

I sneered at the man. He was fat and ugly, and used other men to do his dirty work. He forced his way with the villagers and despite the bad shape of the building, he was fairly rich. He hurt those lower than him and pushed his way further to the top of society, angering many along the way. Unfortunately for him, he had angered the wrong people this time.

"I'm going to enjoy killing you," I spoke, pulling my face into a sadistic smirk. Yes, this was the mask of perfection. Every emotion on my face was what I wanted them to see, every action was what I wanted them to know, and every kill was one more step toward killing my brother. The sword went through his chest in the blink of an eye, and in the next blink was out, blood pouring from the wound. The disgusting man's last words were gargled by the blood pooling into his throat.

"Have any last words?" I spoke darkly, mock showing on my face as the man's emotions flashed in his eyes; shock, confusion, pain, fear, anger, and finally death. I crouched down and closed his eyes. I could feel Kabuto's eyes on my back but I ignored him. I didn't care about him. All that mattered was Itachi. Soon I would be strong enough to kill him, to feel the satisfaction of my blade pushing through his heart, to hear the sweet sound of the gargle of blood in his mouth and on his beaten body, to see fear pass through his emotionless eyes.

I lifted myself up and turned my back on the dead man, turning to Kabuto. He didn't speak but that creepy smirk was on his face. _Freak._ "Let's go, Sasuke-kun." I followed him across the room but stopped in the door frame. I turned to the dead man and whispered, "Rest in peace."

We walked down the same street as before and before long, we heard screams. They had found his body. I smirked. Next time I'll be ready for you, brother. Kabuto pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and I grit my teeth in annoyance. It was a nervous habit of his—his glasses never really fell down.

I paused when I saw a little girl cry and run to her mother. "He's dead, mommy—daddy's dead." I clenched my hands at my side as a pang of guilt tried to sway my prior pride in murdering the man. My mom's face flashed into my mind and I felt my mask break just a bit. Her crumpled body lay before me. The body that had held me in a tight embrace the many times I cried, the lips that kissed my forehead many times before I fell asleep, the hands that wrapped my injuries many times when I trained too hard, the empty eyes that had once smiled warmly at me and told me everything was going to be okay.

I suddenly felt a different kind of pang in my chest—an aching pain that made me feel hollow. Screams of terror echoed behind me but I didn't hear them. All I heard were the words of Hana…

* * *

_"Sasuke, life is always more difficult than it seems," Hana told me, pausing for a moment. "Life finds a way to take a single frayed hem and make it into a tare…then even when you try to patch the tare it's just never the same as the original fabric." My eyes hardened. She spoke like she knew exactly how I felt. Her whole clan wasn't murdered! She didn't watch their deaths over and over! She didn't see their empty faces, saying, "Why couldn't you have just been stronger, Sasuke? Why couldn't you have been stronger? Why didn't you save us, Sasuke?" _

_ "You have no idea," I bit out before turning on my heel and leaving the room. I stalked angrily across the hallway, my family's deaths fresh on my mind._

_ "Sasuke, I might not know exactly what you feel, but I do know it hurts," she said quietly. "If ever you just need a shoulder I'm here—no questions asked." I clenched my fists at my sides, a longing in my heart to turn back around and let her hold me like a lost child, whispering worthless assurances as I told her of my past. Itachi's face flashed into my mind and my arms shook in anger._

_"I don't and will never need a shoulder to cry on. That is for the weak—the strong do not need such stupid things." She was silent for a moment and I thought I finally had won. _

_"Sometimes it's because the weak had a shoulder that they became strong," she spoke quietly. I tore across the room and slammed the door on my way out. I looked around me. I need someone to train with—someone to beat the shit out of to release all of this built up anger._

_

* * *

_

I blinked back to reality as Kabuto called my name. The tiny village was a mess. People were running around, saying that they were going to be next. Babies were crying, children were screaming, women trying to comfort, and men barking commands.

"Let's go! We're going to be caught!" Kabuto yelled at me. I looked back once more before leaving the village. The ache was still in my chest, but I pushed it back. When I got far enough away, I would train with Kabuto. I would beat him bloody and would calm down this stupid longing for something I could never have. Then, my perfect mask will be back and I will be able to focus on avenging my clan.

* * *

_(Naruto)_

I pushed through the crowd, searching for the perverted toad sage. He had run off with my frog wallet. He could have spent it all already! At those stupid perverted shops! Ugh! My eyes glanced over the crowd again and I stopped when I saw a head of blond hair. It was pulled up tightly into a high ponytail. My heart thudded in my chest and I forgot about what I was looking for just seconds before.

I shoved my way through the crowd and touched the girl's shoulder. "Ino!" I called. The girl turned around and I took a step back in surprise when I was met with dark brown eyes instead of the exotic blue I had expecting. My heart sunk in my chest and I apologized for wasting the girl's time.

I stood there for awhile, ignoring the busy people around me. I missed Ino. I missed Hana. I missed Kakashi. I missed Tenten. I missed Sakura. I missed Sasuke. Kami, I could go on forever. I shoved my hands into my pockets and watched the people around me. All of them were in a hurry to get somewhere. They angrily pushed people out of the way.

A small boy fell to the ground when he was pushed out of the way by a man. The boy cried but no one stopped to help him. I pushed forward and extended my arm to the child. He looked up at me hesitantly, afraid I would take it away and laugh in his face. "Come on, kid. I'm not goanna hurt yah." The boy took it and I pulled him up. His face lit up.

"Thank you! Those people are so mean. I'm always afraid to go out of the house." I looked down at him. He had bright orange hair and freckles speckled across his cheeks. I understood that too well. I used to get picked on anytime I set foot out of the house. Adults would glare at me, parents would pull their children away from me, girls and boys would mock me, and other kids my age would bully me.

"Yeah, they're always in a hurry to do something—whatever that is."

"I know!" The red-head yelled enthusiastically. "What is it that they do that is so important?"

"I still haven't figured that out, kid."

"Don't call me kid." I looked down at him and his face was set in determination. "I've got a name. It's Ryuki, and you better not forget it. Someday I'm goanna be famous and you'll be beggin' for my autograph." I crouched down to Ryuki's height and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"I'm sure you will, Ryuk. How about this? You tell me where I can take you home to and someday, when we're both older, we'll meet again and see if we've accomplished our goals. Sound good?" He gave a wide grin, showing that he was missing his two front teeth.

"Sounds like a deal!" He showed me to his house and his mother opened the door.

"Ryuki! I was worried sick about you!" She wrapped him in her arms. "Don't go running off again, you hear me?"

"Aw, mom!" The kid wined and I felt a pang in my chest. She pulled away from him and turned to me.

"Thank you so much. Is there a way I can repay you?" she asked me.

"Oh no," I told her. "I just wanted to make sure he got home safely. I can't have him getting hurt before he finishes the end of our bargain, right Ryuk?"

"Yeah!" I ducked away politely, not being able to stand the sight in front of me. Ryuki's father had come to the door and greeted him also. He chastised him like his mother and pulled him into a hug. I walked slowly through the crowd. No longer pushing and shoving my way through the crowd, I let myself be pulled in different directions.

I longed for what Ryuki had and felt utterly jealous. I had my family and yes, I missed them. But I wished I had something like that—someone to worry about me if I disappear unexpectedly. I wondered if Hana, Kakashi, or Tenten missed me or thought about me. If I came back now, would they be there by the door waiting for me?

I spotted Jiraiya's white mane of hair in the crowd. There was still a slight ache in my chest but I let a smile slide casually onto my face. I may not have someone waiting at the door for me, worrying over my safety, but I've got important people to protect. I've got people close to me. I don't get ridiculed as often. I'm starting to get respected by people. I'm getting closer to Hokage. Besides, I let the smile fade off of my face and become serious. I need to get stronger and bring Sasuke back before it's too late.

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

I exited the doors of the Hokage's office, an ANBU uniform replacing my usual jonin clothes. A new mission—an A-rank mission. That will take my mind off of things. Things like…well, Hana. Why is it that someone who I love so much continually hurts me so badly? She lies to me, I forgive her. She lies to me again, I forgive her again. She lies to me yet another time…how can I forgive her yet again? What is the saying? Once a liar, always a liar?

I sigh as I pull my animal mask over my face. All this time her name was Hanayo—Princess Hanayo Nakamura. She had a brother she never spoke about, she had a clan she never spoke about, and she had an entire country looking for her. The whole time she was pretending to be a family-less, penny-less, girl who quit her life as a ninja at fifteen.

Well, what did I expect? She lied to me that her name was Uindo. She lied to me that she was just an average woman. She lied to the Hokage that I signed to adopt Naruto—which don't get me wrong, I would have signed. Naruto was an incredible boy with a rough past, no family, and a promising future in front of him. He also was my student and I would have adopted him in a heartbeat.

Worst of all, she had lied to me that she loved me. Surely one could not lie so profusely to someone they care so deeply about? Isn't a relationship all about honesty? I don't understand why she kept lying…what did she get out of it? Whatever it is, I hope it was worth it to her. Now I'm just a hollow form of my prior self. The only things that let me know I'm still alive are the pain in my chest at the thought of her name and the pain I feel when I bleed. I set off on my mission, looking forward to a good battle to remove her name from entering my burdened thoughts.

* * *

_(Hana)_

I sat in one of the many coaches, watching the trees as they sped by. I couldn't help but wish I was running beside it instead of in it. My body could use the work. But no, it was far too un-ladylike. Sitting still made me think too much. Obviously, his name kept entering my mind over and over again. All I could think was Kakashi, no matter what I thought about.

_Oh look at that tree. It's a very interesting tree. It's a nice healthy green and the bark isn't chipped. No animals have chewed on its bark. I remember reading that deer and other animals literally eat the bark. That's just gross. I wonder if dogs eat bark too. That's kind of ironic! Dogs bark and they eat bark. I wonder if "dogs barking" is dogs eating bark or making that loud noise. I could ask Pakun—he would know. After all he is Kaka…Kakash…Kakashi….Kakash Hata…Kakashi Hatake…Kakashi Hatake's—I forgot what I was thinking about._

The elderly woman from before sat across from me and she remained silent. I had tried to talk to her but quickly found out that she did not under any circumstances want to talk to me. Funny, earlier she couldn't shut up when I arrived at the house and Kakashi…Kakashi…Kakashi. My Shika. I felt the urge to cry but pushed it back. I couldn't just sit and mope around all day. I needed to do something and here I was, doing something. I was going back to my homeland where I had grown up when I was a small girl. I was going to be crowned queen and hopefully then I wouldn't think about Kakashi. Poodle poopies, I thought about him again.

_Hiko. Oh, Hiko. If only I had known you were still alive! I would have been there in an instant! What happened to you? How did you survive back then? If I had known you were alive I would be with you now. I wouldn't have been in Konoha, I wouldn't have met Naruto, I wouldn't have met Sasuke, and I wouldn't have met Kaka…Kakashi. Damn._

I felt emptiness in my chest and I put my hand there to make sure there wasn't actually a physical hole. No, no physical hole was there, just an ache of loneliness, hurt, and betrayal. I was all alone—again. It made me think of the letter I had written to Kakashi all those months ago, the one I never intended for him to read, the one that had changed the horrible way things were between us…

* * *

…_I wish there was some way to let you forget it. To let you feel like nothing happened...to let you forget me. So I could disappear somewhere in the distance. So you could be happy. That's all I ask. I don't ask for a fake apology. I don't ask for a card, letter, or anything for__  
that matter. I just want you to be happy. To smile. Smile, Mr. Hatake. Smile because everything is beautiful. Smile because you only have one chance. Smile because even if that one chance  
hurts so badly, it feels so right in the end. Smile. Just smile. Mr. Hatake, I know that it is nearly impossible to forget the past. And I know we learn from past mistakes. So remember me...? Remember the ripping feeling inside your chest every time something reminds you of the person  
I made you believe was real. And learn from it. Live from it._ _But...smile, Mr. Hatake._ _Just smile._

_

* * *

_

…My heart clenched in my chest and I felt the need to scream. That's not all I ask! I want to be able to forget too! I'm so tired of always being the one hurt! I'm tired of being selfless and forgiving. I want to be happy. I want to smile. I want to be able to see beautiful things. I want to experience that one chance. And I was wrong; it doesn't feel right in the end. I feel terrible—worse than all the other times. Remember you? I'd rather have my heart carved out of my chest and squeezed until it explodes! I don't want to learn from it, I don't want to live from it, and I don't want to smile and pretend everything is okay. It's not. I'm not okay. I hurt. I ache. I crave for you…for your touch, your smile, and your love. I don't want to remember the ripping feeling every time I think of you. I can't _stop_ thinking about you! Anywhere I turn, I see you. I'm so blinded! I finally understand why we are taught as ninja to never have emotions, bonds, or to love. It blinds you and makes you unable to think straight. It hurts you and makes you think irrationally. It makes you vulnerable. And worst of all, it makes you want to die.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is how I feel each character would react to loneliness and betrayal.**

**Review?**


	22. Months

_My apologies._

_I keep taking these long absences. It's not fair to you readers. Forgive me?_

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Twenty-Two**_

_(Hana)_

**Month One:**

"We have the issue of reinforcing the taxes. The law has gotten too lenient recently. Then there is, of course, your coronation to prepare for. We'll need a guest list, planner, and flowers—lots of flowers. We need for you to meet some of the noblemen and start building friendly relationships." Chinatsu stood before me, a clipboard in her arms, going on and on about all of my responsibilities.

"Uh-huh," I said absentmindedly as I attempted to knit a scarf—a newly acquired hobby of mine.

"There's also the royal guard. You must meet with the captain and his lieutenant."

"Ah."

"You also must win the hearts of your people. You've been missing for years, so obviously they won't be sure what to expect. But you're Hanayo-hime, your father's daughter. It will be easy winning them over. Just a few balls, some community service, and donations will do the trick."

"Mm-hmm." I stared down at the yarn in my lap and wondered where I went wrong. This was looking less and less like a scarf by the minute. I sighed, ignoring the fact and continuing it. I had yet to actually finish a project.

"Then there is…Hanayo-hime, are you listening to me?"

"I see." What the heck? Why was this so wrong? I followed the instructions perfectly!

"Hanayo-hi—"

"Ugh, I give up!" I said dropping my hands in my lap. I blinked up at the elderly woman in front of me. "Sorry, go on."

I could see a vein appear on her forehead. "You haven't been paying attention? This. Whole. Time?"

**Month Two:**

"Hanyo-hime, this is Captain Takeo." The man in front of me was in his early to mid thirties. He had brown hair with matching color eyes. He was handsome, I admit. But he wasn't my type.

_Kakashi is your only type, stupid._

"Captain Takeo," I said my voice thick as I reached out to take his hand. Instead he bowed at his hip, a hand across his chest.

"Hanyo-hime," he spoke. Chinatsu motioned for me to curtsy. How strange it was to do things that were once second nature to me.

"Pleasure to meet your acquaintance."

"The pleasure is all mine, Hime." I narrowed my eyes at Chinatsu. Was she trying to set me up?

_Kakashi_, my heart nearly cried. It ached painfully in my chest and I had to excuse myself before I would cry in front of them.

**Month Three:**

"This is so impractical," I complained as Chinatsu attempted to teach me how to ride a horse in a lady-like manner.

"However, it is regal. Chest up like this. No, don't pull your head back too."

"Like this?"

"Uh, no," she spoke. She tried to straighten my back properly, but both of my legs were to one side making them cramp and making me have a lack of balance. When she pushed on my back, I fell off the other side.

Just then, Captain Takeo came walking toward the stables. He paused at the sight of me sitting on the ground with my arms crossed and Chinatsu standing on a stool with her hands on her hips. We both looked over at him and I could tell he was trying not to chuckle.

"I give up!" Chinatsu said stepping off of the stool and throwing her hands in the air. "Good luck, Captain, you're going to need it!" And with that, she stomped her way back into the castle.

"Milady." Captain Takeo offered a hand out to me and I took it.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure, Hanayo-hime." He pulled me onto my feet and glanced at the dress I was wearing. "Perhaps you should change into more appropriate attire for learning?"

That sounded like the grandest idea ever.

**Month Four:**

"Back and left, up and right, back and left, up and right." The books fell off of my head and went clattering to the floor.

"Perhaps another try?" I laughed awkwardly. Chinatsu sighed but nodded her head. She motioned for the musicians to play again.

"Back, left. Up, right. Back, left. Up, right."

"Look, I'm doing it!" And they all clattered back to the ground. It was like some invisible power was working against me. Oh yeah—gravity.

Chinatsu sighed a second time.

"I've got all the moves right," I told her. "And I won't have books on my head when I'm actually dancing."

"Yes, but you lack the flow of your movements. You're too edgy." I looked down at my feet. I hated this—dancing. It reminded me of when I danced with Kakashi. It really wasn't that I couldn't dance with those books on my head; it's that I didn't want to. I had been dancing with books since I could walk. I had always been a princess, after all.

"I'm done for the day," I said walking off to mind my own business. I needed to do something to get _him _out of my head.

**Month Five:**

"Chinatsu?"

"Yes, Hanayo-hime?" she said, pausing in her seemingly endless work.

"Come take a break with me. I'll help you after we get something to refresh us."

"I suppose. Only because it is what you wish, Hanayo-hime." We left the office and left to the kitchen. I grabbed two cartons of ice cream from the fridge and plopped one down in front of her with a spoon. "Oh no, I can't eat that out of the carton."

"Oh chill out, we're probably the only people who eat the stuff." She sent me a glance before taking a bite. I followed suit.

"Thank you, Hanayo-hime." I stopped devouring my ice cream to talk.

"Can we stop with all this "Princess Hanayo" stuff?" I begged. "It's too…weird. I've always been Hana—_just_Hana."

"As you wish, Hanayo—Hana." I smiled.

"Do you mind if I call you Chin?"

"Anything you wi—"

"Only if you don't mind. That's my only demand."

"Not at all."

"Okay," I smiled again. "What flavor you got?"

**Month Six:**

"Oh my Kami! Takeo, look at me!" I squealed happily.

"I see you, Hanayo-hime."

"I'm riding a horse! Me!" I was bouncing with joy. He laughed and I slowed the horse so I was beside him.

"You're doing well, Hanayo-hi—"

"Hana," I corrected.

"Hana," he finished.

"Come on, ride with me."

"I'm sure that would be—"

"On your own horse, dummy."

"Still, it would be—"

"I'm the princess, right?"

"Yes, Hime."

"Hana," I corrected again. "So anything I say goes, right?"

"Yes H—" I gave him a look. "Hana."

"So get a horse and saddle and ride with me, before I fall off this horse!"

**Month Seven:**

Winter at last—almost Christmas to be exact. There was a Christmas ball coming up. The castle was adorned with millions of decorations. Snow was on the ground outside. People were bundled up. Some of the servants were wearing the deformed scarves I made. They probably felt bad and wore them out of pity.

"You married me at a Christmas party," I accused the air above my bed that I was staring at. "You found out who I was at a Christmas party." I rubbed the spot on my finger that had just previously become bare. It was obvious that we were only married due to a piece of paper locked away somewhere with a million other records.

"Sasuke ran away during a Christmas party." I refused to let the tears fall, instead just staring out into space. "I almost died after a Christmas party."

I rolled over onto my stomach, shoving a pillow underneath my head. "I hate Christmas." I tried to sleep, I really did. But too many thoughts of old memories were running through my head and I couldn't fall asleep. It was daytime anyways.

I pulled myself out of my bed and went out onto my balcony, ignoring the cold under my socked feet and all around me in the air. It was peaceful outside. The only movement came from some servants setting up _more_decorations outside and a few guards changing shifts.

"I miss my old neighbors," I sighed, leaning against the railing. They always thought we were crazy. _They _were crazy. "I even miss those witches at that grocery store. I would run all the way there just to feel the annoyance they were sure to cause me. Too bad I'm not allowed at that store anymore. I wonder what they would do if I did go there? Hmm."

"Hana!" I glanced down below to see Takeo waving madly at me.

And _I_ was always called the crazy one.

"Hello!" I called back, returning his wave.

"Get dressed and come down here, I have something to show you!" I looked down at my pajama clad self.

So I was a _little_ crazy.

"Coming!"

**Month Eight:**

I raced down the road with Takeo at my heels. When he caught up, he tackled me to the ground and pinned me there. "Hana! You can't leave! Don't run!" he yelled pleadingly. I glanced up into his brown eyes.

"I'm not running away, Takeo."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm simply running."

"To where?"

"Where ever my feet carry me," I spoke honestly.

"But—"

"I'll be back, Takeo. I promise you that." He stared down at me for a long minute, scrutinizing my every muscle.

"Fine, but if you run away…" he said releasing his hold.

"Then you'll catch me. I know, I know," I said pushing up off the ground and brushing myself off. Suddenly he was holding both of my shoulders. He shook me and his serious eyes hit me like a bucket of cold water.

"I'll die," he spoke sternly, as if he were my father trying to get a point across.

"You wouldn't die, Takeo," I told him reassuringly. "They wouldn't blame you for my disappearance."

"I know, Hana," he spoke backing away from me.

"Then why are you worried?" He moved a good distance away so that I could only hear a whisper of his voice.

"Because I…" he paused as if he were going to say something else. "Care about you, Hana." I felt touched by his kindness and smiled a little. Someone cared about me here. Even if it wasn't Kakashi, someone _cared_. I forgot what that felt like.

"Thank you, Takeo. I care about you, too." It wasn't like I loved the brown haired man. At least, I didn't think so. No person would ever be able to fill that void.

_But, _I reminded myself. _Someone cares._

**Month Nine:**

"Hanayo-hime and her accompanier, Captain Takeo of the Royal Guard," A loud voice announced. I walked down the stairs one at a time, afraid I was going to fall. I had a knack for falling at the least appropriate times.

"_Relax_, Hana," Takeo whispered beside me. I took deep breaths, calming my racing heartbeat. Hundreds of people had come to this royal ball I held. It was only a week until my coronation and Chin thought it best to "publicize" more, as she called it.

We reached the bottom of the stairs with ease and made our way to the crowd. Picking Takeo to accompany me was a simple decision. He was my only friend here—if you don't count Chin. He had a high social status because of his position as captain. He was polite, well-mannered, and always the gentlemen. And in the end, who else would I have taken? Some old guy I didn't know? No.

_You've grown into a beautiful woman, Hanayo-hime._

_Aw, you've grown up so much, Hanayo-hime!_

_Let me get a good look at you, Hanayo-hime!_

_Hanayo-hime, so good to see you again!_

_Hanayo-hime, do you remember me?_

_We're proud of you, Hanayo-hime._

_We're proud of you._

_Hanayo-hime._

_Hanayo._

I smiled as I shook people's hands. People socialized and mingled, talking…talking…talking…and more talking. It took all of my energy just to pay attention to what these—_my—_townsmen were telling me. Takeo "woosh"ed me around the room, being my source of energy. He introduced me to everyone, held me up with the energy that jolted through our attached hands, and even replied to people when I could only stand and stare.

When the time came, we did the formal initiating dance. The crowd of people parted and left us in the middle of a large, open circle. We glanced at each other and wham! We began. I didn't even need to pay attention to the dance while I was dancing with him. He knew all of the steps like a master. Dancing with him was more like floating.

At the end of the dance we stood there very still, remaining in our dancing stance. I stared into his eyes, swearing I saw something sparkle at one of the corners. Was he crying? But the corners of his mouth went up into a closed mouth smile. Then suddenly, he looked like he was contemplating life and death. I'm sure my eyebrows knotted.

His lips moved and my eyes were drawn to the motion. I glanced up and his eyes were bolted shut. "Takeo?" I whispered quietly. And just like that, everything returned to normal. He smiled like the gentleman he was and stepped back, bowing to me. I curtsied and everyone around us clapped. When everyone else began to dance to the music of the violins, I could only stare at Takeo as he excused himself for "important business."

What exactly just happened?

**Month Ten:**

I never did find out what happened that night at the dance with Takeo. He went back to acting normal. He continued forcing me to leave the castle, even with the left over snow. He would make sure I got to the kitchen at meal times and had one of the servants cook for us. He even sat patiently in the library as I marveled over the masses of books.

It was different when I was with him. I didn't feel completely better, but I felt okay. My heart did race, but it didn't slow. My brain didn't turn to mush, but it didn't get bored. Electricity didn't shoot through me when we touched, but it didn't feel _bad_. It was all just different. That's what I kept telling myself.

That's why when he announced that he must leave to check out the northern border, I felt like I was about to be abandoned. That's why I bit my lip and held back the tears, hiding my sadness with a fake smile and fake optimism.

"You'll be back in no time! I won't even have time to miss you," I kidded. He smiled at me.

That's also why I didn't jump when he wrapped his arms around my smaller form in a warm embrace. I didn't fit perfectly in his arms, but his warmth brought comfort.

"Farewell, Hana," he whispered and I smiled, a real smile just for him. Because yes, he could tell the difference.

"Farewell, Takeo."

It was wrong of me to compare him to Kakashi—I knew it was. It was unfair and just plain cruel. But I couldn't help it. Not even Takeo could heal the sharp pain in my lungs, the deep ache in my muscles, and fill the gap in my heart.

**Month Eleven:**

"Hanayo-hime!" Chin yelled, racing down the halls. She stopped when she reached me and I gave her time to catch her breath.

"What is it, Chin?"

"The…the Maians! They've declared war!" My heart thudded in my chest. Other people in the long hallway migrated to us. They all looked at me, waiting for me to tell them what to do. I was their queen; I was their leader. They looked to me for guidance.

My mouth went dry.

I couldn't even run my own life right, why must fate be so cruel as to entrust me with their lives? I thought hard, trying to imagine what my father would have done. I tried so hard to think, but I hadn't eaten in nearly three days and I had little energy.

I glanced up at Hiko's picture on the wall in front of me and turned quickly to Chin.

"Reinforce the walls, get all the citizens inside them, and prepare for battle."

**Month Twelve:**

It had been exactly a year since I left Konoha…since I left my family. I felt bad for leaving Tenten, especially when she was so vulnerable. And right when she was turning around for the better. I could only hope she had taken it well. Maybe one of h er teammates had comforted her?

I glanced up at the ceiling above my bed and sighed. I hadn't done anything in so long. Was this all leaders did? Give orders then sit and wait? I closed my eyes and breathed in and out slowly.

I was still tired and eating little. The sight of food made me nauseous. The only time I ate is when Chin was around to force me. I opened my eyes and brought my hand out in front of me. It was the same pale tone it always was—if not paler. My nails were cut extremely short. My hands were dry and cracked. My skin even had a sort of unhealthy glow to it.

_I just miss Kakashi—that's all,_ I kept telling myself.

I tried to think of reasons that he left me other than him not knowing my past. There was no way that one tiny, insignificant detail like this could have affected him so. It wouldn't even have mattered. I wouldn't have gone with them. I would have stayed with him forever. Eventually, Naruto would return stronger and bring Sasuke back. Then Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto, Tenten and me could have lived happily together.

Who knows? Maybe Kakashi and I could have had a child of our own. We never even got around to talking about that. What, with his ninja career and my lack of there of, it just wasn't even in the question. But maybe, maybe we would have talked about it by now. It had been a year.

_A lot happens in a year,_ I realized.

So I thought of the other possibilities. Why wasn't I enough for him? Did he like someone else other than me? Did he love her? Was I in the way? I pushed myself off of the bed and walked over to my full-body mirror.

I stared at myself for a long time, turning and stretching in the mirror. I rose my shirt to look at my tummy, lifted my sleeves to look at my arms, pulled up my skirt to look at my legs, and moved my untidy hair out of my eyes to stare at my face.

What was it that he despised so? Was it my long hair? Some guys liked more casual hair. Was it because of my short height? I had always been petite. Was it because of my blue eyes? Maybe they were too much like Naruto's. Was it my body? Was it unattractive to him? I glanced down at my waist. Was I too fat? I hadn't been a full fledge shinobi in so long.

I pulled the scrunchy out of my hair and stared at the ghost of a reflection that stared back. Was I not happy enough? Confident enough? Was _I _just not enough? I pushed my muscles to walk to the bathroom and grabbed a pair of scissors from the counter there, chopping off huge chunks of dark, ebony hair.

I bit my lip and tilted my head to see the new hair cut. Would he like me more now? I moved so my face was only inches from the mirror and widened my eyes. There was nothing I could do about their color, so I sighed and slowly made my way back to my bed.

I was simply never going to be good enough for him.

**Month Thirteen:**

That's when the blackouts started.

I'm not going to lie; it was my fault I was passing out in the first place. That's why I had to be the one to fix it.

I forced myself to eat.

It's wasn't for myself or my old family, it was for my people—my brother's people. I ate and I put up a strong façade. I tried to be the leader they needed. It went against my nature. I was quiet, calculating, reserved, and didn't like bringing attention to myself.

This "new me" was something completely different. I was strong and outspoken, clever and quick on my toes, and I even resorted to swear words. That's when I knew I had really started changing.

My skin started to regain a healthy glow. My fingernails were still short, but not thin and brittle. I hadn't chopped as much hair off as I had originally thought. I was obviously pretty out of it at the time. My hair reached my shoulders in the same thick, black locks I had been born with. My eyes returned to their bright blue, but the look in them changed. It was less grace and more fierceness.

Leading an army does things to people.

I began going with my troops, instead of being locked up in my castle. Chin refused at first, but when she saw health and color returning to my face, she agreed with a silent nod.

Mourning over lost love was now something that sickened me. The thought of it disgusted my very being. If Kakashi and I had meant to be, we would be. It was that simple. The fact that it was Takeo who was at my side, my second in command, my most trustworthy ally, is why I didn't find it preposterous when he asked to court me.

The fact that we were on a battlefield at the time made his sudden idea humorous. "Now of all times?" I barked at him, defending a slice intended for my head. I was glad for my years of ninja training. "You couldn't have asked when we were in a cozy castle?"

"Oh," he said sarcastically. "You mean when you wouldn't allow me past the guards stationed at your door?"

"Touché."

It's also why I wasn't surprised when Chin didn't even blink twice when I told her. She _had _been planning it, I noticed. All along she had been looking out for me. Whether it was in interest of our friendship or just because I was her queen, it didn't matter. I nearly hugged her for it. The old me wouldn't have even thought twice about it. The new me didn't want to get too "cozy cozy."

My picture was added to the wall of my Nakamura ancestors—right beside my brother, Hiko. I brushed a hand over his picture. I really wished there were a way for me to go back in time and change things.

I wished I never came to Konoha.

I wished I never ended up on Kakashi's team.

I wished I never met him again in that flower shop.

I wished he had never taken an interest in me.

I wished I never met Sasuke and Naruto.

I wished Kakashi was never their teacher.

I wished he didn't find out who I really was.

I wished Tenten never ended up at our door.

I wished I never let her in.

I wished I had told Kakashi sooner.

I wished Kakashi didn't react so badly.

Sure, I wished a lot of things. But my wishes, hopes, _desires_…they didn't matter. It was my people that mattered; my own skin and blood…the only people who would never betray me.

_They come first._

**Month Fourteen:**

The war was finally turning in our favor. I was so happy at first that I latched onto Takeo in glee. He stiffened at first at the contact, but relaxed in the hold and wrapped his arms around me.

"It seems your mood has brightened."

"Indeed. An odd change of events, no doubt," Chin sat near us, her glasses perched on her nose, and paper work in her lap. That was something I never thought I'd get used to—the way they spoke.

The end of the war was so close I could nearly smell it. The sweet taste was on my tongue. It was like I drank a bottle of happiness and was left in drunken giggles. We all know that I babbled on and was a little perverted when I drank enough. I would speak my mind and often give a speech that was incoherent to anyone sober enough to realize my impaired and undoubtedly flawed logic.

I was glad I never drank in my home. But it did end up happening. It was unstoppable and I was glad there were few people around when I was full out drunk. Takeo noticed the change in me, how I was acting more like the person I had come there as rather than the usual me. He dragged me away from my guests and forced me to sit down on a couch.

He rubbed his aching brows. "I should've paid more attention. How did you manage to drink so much?"

"Low tolerance, mate," I said with a fake pirate accent. He squeezed his eyes closed.

"Aye, don't be botherin' ye little noggin', Take," I said pronouncing his newly formed nickname "_tah-kee." _I couldn't tell if I was annoying him or if this was his own way of stressing. "I'm not too shabby."

"I suppose you're a pirate too, then?" he asked, a small ghost of a smile on his face. It betrayed his annoyed act and I was gleeful at the positive response. I sat up and patted the place next to me.

"Aye, mate, I are! Ye be a good fellar at guessing such tales!" My fake accent sent me into a long string of giggles which continued even after Takeo took a seat beside me.

"Will you even remember this?" he asked me.

"Ah—no," I said and somehow found it incredibly funny, because it sent me into another giggle fit.

"What am I going to do with you?" I suddenly stopped giggling and turned to him. I was so close that I was sure he could feel my breath tickle his skin.

"Kiss me," I whispered, my face lacking the goofy smile from before. He was suddenly rooted in his spot.

"Hana, I can't—"

"What the hell! Be a man! Grow a pair and _kiss _me!" Obviously, he was offended by me telling him he needed to grow a pair. A completely sober Takeo kissed me dead on the lips. It was short—shorter then my drunk self wanted. I wanted more skin contact, more heat. I just wanted to forget everything, because if I liked it or not, I couldn't keep the memories at bay when I was under the influence of alcohol.

"Happy now?" he said, crossing his arms and leaning back into the cushions of the sofa. I sighed.

"No," I pouted, crossing my own arms and turning away from him, refusing to look at him.

"Are you pouting?"

"No."

"You're seriously pouting?"

"No!"

"You're sulking, too." I turned to give him a dirty look before turning back around. He sighed.

"_Why _are you sulking?"

"I'm not sulking!"

"Say you were, why would you be?" He was smart, I'd give him that.

"Because maybe there's this guy I think I might like but he won't kiss me like…like…like a real kiss! He just kissed me like I was his sister or something. It annoys me so much! Maybe I just want to touch him? Maybe…maybe he should care what I want."

"Uh-huh." He wasn't quite sure what else to say.

"All hypothetically, of course," I waved my hand like I hadn't just gushed out about him.

"Of course," he replied. I giggled at this and turned to face him again, too bored to keep pouting. I pushed my lips against his—hard. He instantly responded, putting his arms around me, pulling me closer. I took this as my cue to make it more intimate.

And he also took it as his cue to stop it.

"Hana, stop. Stop. STOP."

"Why?" I protested against him as I still fumbled for his shirt, my hands disoriented and unable to do anything I wanted them to. I then sighed at them, "Stop being difficult! I know _you _want Kakashi back, but you can't have him. You hear me? I don't want him back and because _I _have the brain, I'm the one whose opinion maters!"

I'm sure Takeo only stared at me, but I just remember staring at my hands, making sure they did what I told them to. Only when I had made sure they wouldn't act of their own free will again, did I turn back to him. "Why not, Take? Do you not like me?" I whined.

"It's not that, Hana. I…well, I _love _you. I would do anything for you," he paused and motioned at us. "But_this? _I don't care if you won't remember any of this. _This _is still wrong." Aw, he had virtues. At the time they annoyed me, though, because they were just in the way of my self-given objective.

"If you loved me, you would."

"Hana, I can't even tell the not intoxicated you that I care for you so much."

"But you said you'd do anything for me," I threw out my bottom lip.

"I would, but some things you just don't need to know. Just like the bird that arrived with a note from Konoha. What you don't know, can't kill you." My drunk self didn't care at that point. I had already found something else of interest. Takeo remained sitting there, not caring that he had just confessed so much to me because I had told him I wouldn't remember—which was true…in most cases.

Unluckily for him…it wasn't most cases.

…

The next day I barged through the double doors into the room where both Chin and Takeo currently sat. I ignored my throbbing head and yell-whispered at them. "Why did you keep it from me?"

"What are you talking about?" Chin asked. Takeo was too frozen in his place to respond.

"You got a letter from Konoha," I half whispered, half yelled again. I held my head securely in my hands.

"What are you talking about?" Chin questioned.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" I yelled. It hurt like bloody hell, but it got there attention. Chin jumped up, her paperwork falling toward the floor. Takeo's eyes darted up toward me, finally looking me in the eye.

"Hana, we only did it to—" I cut Takeo off.

"I want to see it," I told them, back to my quiet speaking.

"Okay," Chin intercepted. "But know that—"

"I don't want to know anymore of your lies. Just show me the paper." So they did. Well, more like Chin showed me the letter and Takeo followed behind us. Every step I took with them hurt. These were the two people I had come to trust again—after all my trust issues. They had really seemed like genuine friends.

Chin handed me the letter and I quickly fumbled to open it. What was inside was not what I expected…

Hanayo Nakamura,

It is to my utmost pleasure that I request your presence in the

Hidden Leaf Village. There are many details that we must

discuss. Please come _alone._ If you fail to acquiesce this

request then I will be forced to take action into my own hands.

The Fifth Hokage.

P.S. Get your ass over here.

…What was up with Tsunade? I looked up at the two people in front of me. "How long ago was this?"

"A month or so ago," Chin replied.

"Damn it!" I yelled out, the paper in my hand crinkling. "Why did you keep this from me?"

"We did it for your own good!" Takeo responded. I winced at the volume that his voice never rose to.

"Lying to me? Since when is that good for me?"

"You're better off here!"

"You could have fooled me a few months ago!"

"But you got better!"

"Not thanks to you!" We were now standing nose to nose, me on my toes due to my cursed height. We were both breathing heavily.

"…I just wanted to help," Takeo whispered.

"I'm leaving," I said, pushing away from him and stomping my way to the door of the room.

"Go ahead," Chin said, sitting herself down on the couch. I looked straight at her. Any bit of friendship that I once thought we had, was gone. She was right back to her business self. Just like everything else in my life, it was a lie. "That's all your good at."

"What are you talking about?" I yelled back.

"Whenever you get scared, you run. What kind of shinobi are you?" I grit my teeth.

"I quit."

"I know," she spoke as if it were nothing, pulling up her millions of charts and files, opening one. "Quitting is a lot like running, isn't it Takeo?"

"Don't get me involved in this," he spoke defensively.

"You already are!" I butted in.

"Go run away, Hana. I'm sure we'll find someone more suitable for your throne," Chin spoke, not even lifting her eyes from the papers.

"I will," I said through my grit teeth. "And I hope when you _lose _this war, you remember just how much I helped." I turned the door handle, pulled it open, and pushed my body through the doorway.

"Chin, at least tell her about the other letter," Takeo spoke. His voice sounded sad for some reason. I ignored it. Another letter?

"I have no obligation of doing such things."

"What letter?" I shouted, turning in the doorway.

"The one that came after that one," he spoke.

"Shut the fuck up, Takeo," Chin said in a voice I never heard her use before.

"She deserves to know."

"And you deserve to remember your place." They both narrowed their eyes at each other.

"Its right here," he spoke. "You worked so hard for me to stand here. So live with it." Chin gritted her teeth.

"You are lucky I even pushed for it. Without me you wouldn't have ever spent time with Hana, much less court her!"

"I'm right here!" I yelled. "Tell me about the letter. Now." Takeo turned to me, that same sad expression spread across his handsome features. It hurt that he had deceived me. This whole time he was being my friend because of Chin. It was another lie. But something in his expression made me think that maybe, just maybe not _all _of it was a lie.

"Guards! Guards!" Chin screamed. "Arrest this man! And contain Queen Hanayo—she's having another episode!"

Takeo's and my eyes met for a split second before he reached toward Chin's lap and grabbed a small white envelope. He threw it toward me just as guards rushed in through the door behind him. They grabbed onto him, viciously pulling his arms behind his back.

"Takeo!" I screamed. The envelope crinkled in my hands. This wasn't fair. Takeo was the _captain_ of the guards, why were they arresting him? "Stop it! I order you to stop!"

"She's not in her right mind!" Chin interrupted; her papers in a heap by her feet, a worried expression painted on her deceitful face. "He tried to attack her!"

"NO! She's lying!" I turned toward Takeo, ready to fight my way to him. They were hurting him! He never did anything bad enough to deserve this! What I saw on his lips was one simple word that I will never forget.

"Go!"

And I sprinted out of the door behind me. I glanced at the hundreds of steps that lead down to the main floor. I then looked back at the guards that were now barreling toward me. I jumped onto the railing and dropped down. I landed in a crouch on the main floor, my ankles complaining but in good enough shape to run.

If there was one thing I was actually good at, it was running.

When guards appeared in the doorway in front of me, I turned. I pushed myself through a large, stain glass window, protecting my face with my arms and getting only minor cuts as it shattered.

There was shouting and the sound of horses' hooves. All I heard was the sound of my heart thudding in my ears. I sprinted up the walls of the castle by applying chakra to my feet. For once, I was glad that my people were not trained shinobi.

I reached the top and leapt for the trees. None of them could touch me in the trees. I sprinted for kami knows how long. I pushed chakra into my feet and my body ached, not used to the strain of intense exercise.

The adrenaline was pushing through my veins, making me feel numb and void of emotion. I just ran. For once I didn't think about Kakashi back in Konoha or Takeo back in the castle. I just thought about running.

_Go ahead. That's all you're good at._

I ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore. I collapsed onto the forest floor, finally remembering the white envelope. I turned it over, flipping open the tab, and yanking out the white letter paper inside. I hesitated before opening it, taking a deep breath. I was once again surprised when I opened the envelope. Scribbled on it in alien handwriting were two simple words:

**_Sasuke's back._**


	23. Us

_Dear readers, if you haven't noticed quite yet this story doesn't really follow the canon. It does...slightly...but not intensely so. I apologize for any confusion on that part!_

_Song of the chapter: Requiem For A Dream_

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Twenty-Three**_

_Chapter dedicated to hippielicious , Ella Unlimited , and MangaMagic . _

* * *

_(Hana)_

I was running back.

I was trying to understand the reason behind me going back there. Was it because my own clan betrayed me? Was it because I was bad at facing my fears? I should have stayed and worked it out. They would have figured it out that it wasn't just an episode, as they called it. Then _my _people wouldn't be left in the hands of the witch Chinatsu.

…and poor Takeo wouldn't be in that position.

Was I doing it for Sasuke? Was it because I loved the troubled boy—because I cared about him? He was a traitor now. Who knew how the village would react to him returning. Would he be executed? My hands clenched into fists.

I wasn't going to let that happen.

The gates appeared in my vision. They stood tall like nothing had ever happened. Standing at the gates were two shinobi that I didn't recognize. I didn't slow down when I approached them. I could hear shouts from behind me but couldn't understand what they were saying. My heart was beating too fast in my chest.

When I got further into the town I noticed that things _weren't _the same. There was chaos everywhere. Houses that once perched tall were now nothing more than debris. The smell of smoke lingered in the air. Not pipe smoke, but the kind of smoke that came from burning buildings…and bodies.

I jumped my way up the Hokage's building and slipped through the large window behind her desk. My feet made a soft thud when they hit the floor. "Hanayo," a man whose head was wrapped in various bandages said, turning toward me. "We've been expecting you for quite some time now."

"Who are you? Where is Tsunade-sama?" I yelled at him. Only one eye was visible but even with only one eye I could tell he wasn't a man I could trust. It glinted with need for power. Why was he in Tsunade's office?

"I'm afraid that she's a bit under the weather—in a coma actually." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What happened here? Where's Sasuke?" A smug look found its way onto the man's face.

"I had a feeling you would ask me that."

"Damn it, what happened?" Suddenly, the door was bust open. Standing there in jonin uniform was someone I hadn't even thought about in weeks. He stood up from his crouching position, an emotionless look on his face.

"Hokage-sama." The voice that came from heaven made me falter in my objective. I wished only that he could stand there and talk to me forever. His silver hair seemed to sparkle in the light of the room. His one visible eye stood focused on the bandaged man. What had happened since I left?

"Ah, Kakashi," the man said, a smirk forming on his face. "Look who just popped in for a visit." Only then did his visible eye flicker over to me. I was hoping for some kind of reaction. Something to say that he felt something for me too, that he'd missed me all those months I had been gone.

Nothing.

I admonished myself. What had I expected? We didn't leave on friendly terms. We would never get along, would we? It was the constant battle of wanting something I could never have. In one word, it was Kakashi.

"Nakamura," he spoke with a subtle nod before turning back to the man.

"Hatake," I said with my voice wavering just a bit at the end. I grit my teeth. He obviously didn't still care about me, why did I still care about him?

"Is there a reason you wanted me, Hokage-sama?" My eyes darted to the figure I still didn't know the name of. So Tsunade was in a coma…why was he hokage?

"Actually—yes. Please show Hanayo to the prisoner." We exited the hokage's office, an awkward silent falling over us. Kakashi looked straight ahead of him so I took the opportunity to study him. Something had changed since I last saw him. Something was harder about him. His walk had changed from carefree to being filled with purpose. Every step he took shouted that he was on a mission. Everything about him was astute and prepared for an attack. It reminded me of Tenten.

I wondered what happened to her. I could only pray that Neji had comforted her and stopped her from doing any rash. For as smart and calculating as Tenten was, she was also sensitive. I could only pray she was okay.

We stepped into a dark room with a mangy smell. The air was moist and I could swear I could hear water dripping in the background. We descended a staircase for what felt like forever. I nearly slipped several times, but refused to look weak in front of the man I once loved.

When we reached the bottom, there were small torches leading down two different halls. Kakashi lead me down the left one. He opened a heavily locked door with a key I hadn't seen him grab. When we entered the room I noticed the tall bars standing in front of us. Hay covered most of the stone floor in the cell. I was surprised to see no bed or toilet. It wasn't until my eyes landed on a figure sitting on a small wooden stool did my heart leap into my throat.

Sasuke sat there with his arms tied securely behind his back, blue chakra shimmering from the metal strings. He crouched forward in his seat, his spine practically sticking out of his back through his shirt. I could tell he had both grown in height and lost weight in the past few years. A clothe was tied tightly in front of his eyes and it only added to the helpless look.

I felt like crying. There sat my Sasuke, completely vulnerable. He had come back for some reason, and had been locked up down here? Stripped of his honor and dignity. I looked at his chapped pink lips. Were they even giving him food and water? He was deathly pale and even though I couldn't see his legs through his pants, I'm sure they were just as unhealthy. More metal strings were wrapped around his ankles and I could tell they dug into his skin and hurt.

"Sasuke," I whispered, going closer to him. I pushed myself against the bars of his cell, wishing I could hold him in my arms and promise him that everything was going to be okay. His head jerked upward, blindly looking for my voice. He didn't speak and I felt tears falling down my face.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" My voice came out as a whimper. I noticed the slashed spread across his body. Had they been torturing him? A sob escaped my throat. I bit my lip to hold back another whimper. Who were the animals treating him like he wasn't a person? I turned to Kakashi.

"You," I pointed my finger at him. "You did this to him!"

"He betrayed the village," he said in an emotionless voice. "He cannot be trusted."

"That doesn't mean you treat him like some animal!" I yelled, going closer to Kakashi.

"He killed hundreds—he deserves to be treated as such." I gripped Kakashi's throat in my hand. An empty gesture, I'm sure. He had more training than me. He was always a better shinobi than me. There was no way I could actually inflict any permanent damage.

"No human deserves that," I whispered into his face. His face stayed expressionless even under his mask. It didn't crinkle or move.

"He's not human to me any more." I released my hold on his neck and slapped him across the face.

"How can you say that? He was practically your son!"

"No, _Hanayo," _he said with spite. The only emotion he had showed. "He was practically _your _son. Where were you two months ago when he needed you?" I opted for punching him this time. My knuckles landed on the left side of his face and I could feel his cheek move under the force of my hand. His head whipped to the side and he spat blood out of his mouth. I took a few steps back, staring at the person who I had once loved. What happened to him? Why was he this way? I felt like crying all over again.

"You walked out on your entire family. You expect them to just accept you with open arms?" he opened the metal door and glared at me. "Things are different now." With that he went to close the door.

"I hate you!" I screamed at him. He paused in closing it and looked at me again.

"Good," he spoke smoothly. "I hate you too." And with that, the door slammed. The rock walls shuttered under the force and I found myself falling to the ground as a sob tore through my throat.

I crawled to the bars of Sasuke's cell and spoke to him. At least he would know someone was there. "Sasuke, I love you. I love you so much. You hear me? I'll find a way to get you out of there. I swear it. I'll get those damn restraints off of you and that cloth off of your eyes so you can see the sun again. How long have you been down here?"

The question was answered with silence. "Just wait; you'll love seeing it again. The sky is so blue. Only a few clouds in the sky, the sun warm against your skin, so bright it blinds you because you stare at it. Have you ever seen the sea, Sasuke? I'll show it to you. I'll show you the world, Sasuke."

A raspy, broken voice answered me. "I'm _blind_, Hana. I'll neversee _anything_."

_(Tenten)_

**Month One:**

"Stop looking so depressed."

"I don't look depressed," I grunted as I heft up a pitchfork-full of hay off of the wooden cart. I carried it over to a stall and spread it out evenly.

"You look like someone just killed your puppy," the blond said, also lifting up bushels of hay and taking them to the horse stalls.

"I don't own a puppy."

"So someone _did_ kill it…" he muttered. I glared over at him. His innocent look faltered and a devilish smirk spread across his face.

"What am I going to do with you?" I muttered, forcing the pitchfork into the yellow-colored stalks.

"I know, un," he said, waggling his eyebrows. I glared at him.

"Stop goofing around and help me with this. I'm not doing all the work."

**Month Two:**

"I think I would rather gouge my eyes out with a pitchfork," I said, my arms crossed in front of me.

"But that would hurt you," he pouted, his big blue eyes growing bigger and shimmering with fake tears.

"I would rather be tied to a tree, covered in honey, and mauled by bears."

"That's harsh, un."

"I would rather be put into a pot of water that was slowly going to a boil."

"Now you don't mean that."

"I would rather have every hair plucked from my head, shave my eyebrows, and wear a dress."

"Hey the dress part is pretty close."

"I'm not going to a dance with you," I told him firmly. Fake tears slid down his eyes. "Come on, be a man and stop crying."

He covered his face with his large hands. I sighed, hands now on my hips. He was at least half a foot taller than me, twice as muscular as me, and not to mention A MAN, and he was the one fake crying. "How old are you—two?"

"Eighteen, actually," he whimpered.

"Then stop crying! Kami, I feel like I'm the older one!"

"Stop being so mean; I'm dealing with my first heartbreak here."

"Fine—I'll go with you," I said, rolling my eyes. His "tears" instantly stopped and he bolted up.

"Really?"

"Sure," I said, a wicked grin forming on my face. "But you have to do my chores for a week."

"Done!"

**Month Three:**

"This is ridiculous," I said, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms. Teenagers littered the barn—a barn for kami's sake!—for some kind of special dance. I glanced around at some of the other girls. They all had their hair done by their mothers, war paint they like to call makeup spread across their face, and dresses their mothers specifically made more this one dance. I kind of missed the benefits of living in a village. Now that I'm living in a country I will never take plumbing or hot water for granted.

"At least I didn't make you wear a dress," he said cheekily. That was true. I glanced down at my pants and plaid flannel shirt. Both of which were Deidara's. The shirt had a makeshift belt tied around my waist because it was so large. I glanced back over at the other girls and their dresses. I felt like the odd one out in pants and a t-shirt.

I hated dresses, don't get me wrong. I just wanted a reason to wear a dress. I looked over to Deidara who was dressed up all nicely. I bit my lip, pulling the ends of the shirt down further. I hated feeling different or out of place. I hated feeling lonely.

"I didn't know everyone else would be dressed up to go to a wedding." He laughed and I watched as couples danced or mingled with random people. This really wasn't my thing—too many people. I got jumpy around large groups of people. It was harder to pin point threats.

"Come on, dance with me," Deidara said, pulling on my arm. Oh kami, no. I resisted at first but gave in, knowing he could easily pull me along if he wanted. My mind wanted me to stand in the back and watch everyone else. But my heart wanted to be included in the "everyone else" for a change.

**Month Four:**

"It's not a dog—it's a cloud."

"But it _looks _like a dog."

"No, it looks like a cloud." Deidara sighed beside me on the grass, pointing his finger upward to explain it to me.

"See the paws there? And there's the body and head? Even has a little muzzle," he said in a tone that made me feel like a four year old.

"It's still a cloud." He sighed again.

"You're supposed to say what they look like, not what they are."

"Exactly," I said rolling my eyes. "You told me to say what they look like and it looks like a cloud—because it is."

"You have the least imagination I have ever seen."

"You are the most immature, carefree, lackadaisical eighteen year old I have ever met."

"Probably the only eighteen year old you've ever met," he said, snickering. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I've known tons of eighteen year olds. There is you…" I said holding up one finger. I put up a second finger and stalled. "And…and…"

"The only one you've ever met."

"Hopefully the only one I ever meet."

**Month Five:**

"Kami!" I yelled. "What the hell is that?" Deidara laughed.

"It's a mouth, un. Don't tell me you've never seen one before."

"I have," I said through grit teeth. "On someone's face—not their hand."

"I just have a few extra," he said with a cheeky grin. "You always did call me a big mouth." He laughed at his joke.

"Can they like…talk? What do you use them for?" I said lifting his hand so I could examine them. One shot out and licked my wrist. How come I had never noticed them before? "Ew!"

He chuckled. "You taste good."

"Like that's not disgusting."

"They can't talk," he said answering my question. "I use them for my art."

"You paint with your mouth?"

"No, silly, with my hands."

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

"Do you want to see my art?"

"It depends. If you lick me again I'm going to sleep in the barn."

"I'll try to control them," he said smirking.

**Month Six:**

"I hate chocolate," I admitted.

"A girl who doesn't like chocolate?" he practically yelled.

"Sh!" I hushed him. "You don't have to yell it out for everyone to hear."

"Ten, no one lives within two miles of here."

"Shut up." He laughed.

"Sometimes I swallow clay."

"Ew!" I shrieked.

"Sh!" He mimicked.

"Ha ha, so funny," I said sarcastically.

"I know I am."

"I hate being weak."

"You need to do better than that, un. It supposed to be a secret," he said rolling his eyes. I sighed, glaring at him.

"Fine." I looked at a random object to stare at so I didn't have to meet eye contact when I said something embarrassing. "I always want to be the strongest, most powerful." I glanced over at him and he gave me a look telling me that it didn't cut it. "But I secretly want someone stronger to protect me."

My eyes darted to the flickering candle in between us. I hoped he couldn't see the tinge of color on my cheeks. I had just told him something so utterly girly and cliché. He must think I'm a fruit loop.

"I like that you wear my clothes," he started and I looked over at him, giving _him _a look. "Because it shows how feminine you really are. You try to be so macho sometimes, but you're not."

"I like living with you. It…it's a lot nicer here than where I was before—you're a lot nicer."

"I hate that you get distant when something gets personal or related to the past or that sometimes you're hard to read."

"I hate that you try to make me a better person."

"That's not possible," he told me, a genuine smile on his lips. "You _are_ a better person."

**Month Seven:**

There was some kind of commotion in the barn. "Dara?" I said, lifting myself out of bed and fixing my wrinkly shirt just a bit. Well, Deidara's shirt. I slid my sandals on, not bothering to find a pair of his pants to put on—his shirt was plenty long enough anyways.

"Hey, Deidara, you in there?" I pulled on the barn door but it wouldn't open. What was going on? "Seriously, if you don't open this door, I'll break it down. I know fire jutsus."

A dark haired man suddenly appeared in front of me and I screamed.

_"What is your name?"_

The dark figure.

_"Well then, Tenten, I expect to hear more of you."_

A hand clamped over my mouth and ringing entered my ears. The man was mostly covered with a dark cloak but I could still recognize him. How could I not know it was him? I had seen him so many times in my nightmares.

I stood frozen, staring into dark eyes that I remembered being red before. It wasn't until I heard Deidara yell something that I awoke. I gripped his hands firmly, trying my best to rip them off of me.

"Sh," he instructed me before pulling my away from the barn. I kicked my foot out to hurt him, but he blocked it with just a brush of his fingers. Who was this man? He dragged me into the house and my eyes grew wide. What was he doing? I screamed again, which was fruitless with his hand over my mouth. But I screamed anyways.

Was he here to finish the job? My heart thudded in my ears. Why didn't he kill me before? He had spared me for some reason. My eyes widened. Was he going to rape me? I regretted not pulling on pants before inspecting outside.

"Be quiet," he hissed at me. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I don't believe you," was what I meant to say but it sounded like, "Ah dote eh lee ew."

"Those men out there will kill you. Do you want to live?" I locked my mouth shut. Slowly, he pulled his hand away from my mouth, making sure I wouldn't start screaming. Surprisingly, I didn't.

"Who are they?" I whispered ferociously. "Aren't you with them? Why are you saving me? Is Deidara hurt?" The man rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"He will be fine." I took a deep breath. Good. Deidara's okay. Everything will be fine.

"As for your other question, I don't want to kill more than necessary. If you do go out there, I will not hesitate to kill you." My body went rigid at his words.

"And them? What do they want with Deidara?"

"His allegiance."

"You're some sort of military group?"

"Some sort," he mumbled before disappearing in front of me. I sprinted to the window and searched for any kind of clue as to what was happening.

Nothing moved, no more sounds were made. I rushed out of the house and to the barn, breaking down the door. Empty—the inside was completely empty. I saw a large whole in one of the walls as if someone had been thrown through it or something.

"Deidara!" I screamed. "Where are you?"

**Month Eight:**

"Stay here," I mumbled, rocking myself. "He said to stay here and everything would be okay." A rustling noise outside sounded and I paused in my rocking, my senses going alert.

After a few moments, I went back to rocking. I looked at the small kitchen-living room I was in. I was currently sitting on the ground which was cold because the sun had set. I missed having someone warm.

Someone named Deidara.

A twig snapped in the distance and I stopped my rocking. My ears strained to hear something more but only silence followed. I continued rocking. The whole room was dark, the only light being that of the moon. I hadn't bothered to light a candle or the fireplace. I was the only one there and knew the place by heart.

Suddenly light filled the room and I winced at the sudden change from the dark. "Whao," A man's voice said. "This place isn't abandoned." I put an arm over my eyes, efficiently blocking out most of the blinding light.

"Kill whoever he is. We don't want to raise any suspicion," an emotionless voice spoke. Another figure entered the cottage-like house followed by two more figures. I focused on holding myself together—emotionally speaking.

"It's not a he," said the first voice. The second figure approached me and yanked me up by my wrist, examining my face.

"Kill _her_, then," he said letting go of my wrist and turning away. I grit my teeth. I grabbed onto his collar, bringing my face inches from his own. His eyes didn't widen and he really didn't react in any sort of way.

"Kill me," I nearly hissed. "Go ahead and kill me. But do it yourself or you're a gutless coward."

"Let go of me," he said and I did. He stood up straight like nothing ever happened but I could tell that something did. The light moved to in front of the man. Realization hit me.

"Sasuke," I gasped. It was barely more than a whisper but the man's face hardened. It was his turn to hold me in a vice-like grip.

"How do you know my name?" I gasped for air, putting my hands on the one around my throat, trying to pull it off of me.

"Hana," I said and the man's hands completely dropped—his face blank and void of the previous anger it had possessed. Happy to be breathing again, I paused to fill my lungs. "Hana Nakamura spoke of you often."

His companions stared at him oddly when he didn't respond. I had recognized him from the chunin exams, but that's not why I had gushed out his name. It was because I used to think of what a cold b*stard he was for leaving the village and Hana.

Now I really knew what it felt like to be left behind like that.

It hurt.

"Is she…alive?" he spoke slowly and quietly, like he was trying to compose himself.

"I don't know," I spoke honestly, unsure of what would set him off. "I haven't seen her in months."

"Is she still there—in Konoha?"

"No, she left last I knew."

"To where?"

"I don't know."

"The f*ck good are you?" He yelled, smashing his fist down onto the table in the center of the room.

"How am I supposed to know?" I yelled back. "She could be in Konoha! She could be in the barn out there for all I know!" The man's eyes darkened and new anger entered. He stepped forward so we were standing so close I felt his hot breath on my skin.

He was taller than me—but not by much. I could easily glare at him right in the eyes. "Do you want to die?" he grit.

"Do you want to live?" I hissed back.

Then one of the other figures with Sasuke laughed and shouted, "It looks like Sasuke finally met his match!"

**Month Nine:**

Let me tell you that traveling with Sasuke was NOT easy. We were both too stubborn for our own good, let alone each other's. We never physically fought, but we yelled at each other a lot.

Suigetsu would sometimes say that Sasuke showed the most emotion around me even if it was only anger, rage, annoyance or anything related to a negative emotion that is taken out on other people. I soon found that to be true. Sasuke was known to be completely emotionless and around most people he was.

I guess I just bring out the best in people.

(Note sarcasm.)

The first month together all we did was travel. The others were looking for something or someone, but they wouldn't tell me what or who it was. It made me wonder why they kept me there, tagging along with them if they didn't necessarily need my help. So I asked.

Suigestu shrugged. "Sasuke likes you?"

Hah, as if!

Juugo put a finger to his chin thoughtfully for a few seconds. "Sasuke said so," he concluded.

That really didn't help me.

Karin just screamed, "It obviously doesn't have to do with you being pretty! You wear man's clothes, for kami's sake!"

That didn't even answer my question.

So I asked Sasuke himself.

"Yo, why am I still here? Couldn't get the guts to kill me?" I called after Sasuke when the rest of the group had scattered to the four winds. Looking for that confidential something-someone again.

"I wasn't going to kill you in the first place," he spoke, rolling his eyes.

Psh.

"Really? Even when I royally pissed you off?" He glared over at me, returning my question with silence.

"Okay, okay," I said laughing. "But seriously, why haven't you kicked me to the curb yet?" No one else had that problem, I thought sadly. I didn't let my sadness trickle out into my expression. I was getting better at composing myself and putting up an emotionless mask similar to Sasuke's.

"Because I felt like it," he said shrugging and speeding off. I had to sprint to keep up with him.

That really wasn't an answer either.

Later in that month, though, I learned why he had let me tag along with his gang.

_"When I saw you there…you looked just as hurt and helpless as I once felt."_

**Month Ten:**

It was an average day with Team Snake—as I found out Sasuke's gang was called. The sun was out and it made me feel warm and happy. Sometimes I would think back to my time in Konoha and how miserable I really was. Deidara had changed my life for the better. I hoped he was okay somewhere happy, using his art that he had enjoyed so much.

I didn't know if I had loved the blond wacko or not, but I did love him in some sense of the word. He had opened me up after I closed myself in. And as cheesy as this is going to sound, he made me see the sun again.

That's why I was currently smiling and twirling like a maniac, my hair down from its tight buns for once. I hadn't felt like it today. My brown locks tickled my neck and back when they whooshed but it made me giggle and add to the wind blowing affect.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke sighed, glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes. At the moment it was just the two of us—that had been happening a lot recently, I noticed. Karin was getting rid of our chakra trail while Juugo got ride of our scent. Suigetsu? Who even knows?

"Being happy—you should try it sometime," I accused. He rolled his eyes.

"I don't have time for that."

"Grump."

"What'd you just call me?"

"A grump. I'm surprised you don't have your own little, black rain cloud." He ignored me.

We entered a small vendor's shop and glanced around at the different weapons strewn about on one of the walls. I could practically see Sasuke's eyes glint at the sight. Obviously, they didn't—Sasuke was "too cool" for that. But I knew that's what was happening in that mind of his.

My eyes were drawn to a man standing on the opposite side of the shop. He was dressed in normal clothes for the town. What caught my eye was his paler skin tone. Most people here had more of a milk chocolate kind of skin—kami, I hated chocolate. Not that I wasn't pale or Sasuke wasn't pale or any of us really, but we weren't from this place.

I glanced down at the man's arm noticing an intricate design of tattoos. A swirl, some dots and—the man's eyes flickered to me. "Sasuke, look out!" I yelled. I grabbed a sai off the wall beside me and threw it just in front of Sasuke. It knocked into a set of senbon needles that was headed toward him. He reacted quickly, sending kunai at the man.

"How did you know?" Sasuke asked me.

"The tattoo on his arm," I admitted. "It's the mark of a weapons' assassin."

Sasuke didn't thank me for saving his life—he didn't have to. I knew he knew that I had and that was good enough for me. He also let Team Snake go to a food stand that was known for its spicy curry.

Mmm.

**Month Eleven:**

Something was off that day. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was up with Sasuke. When we reached a pair of ancient ruins, something clicked. We were close to whatever-whoever it was. When we entered the crumbling ruins, a curse echoed. It was Sasuke's. "We're too late," he said angrily. The rest of the gang—minus Karin—took that as their cue to leave and give him some alone, chill down time.

Karin approached him. "Sasuke, we'll find him next time. And anyways, that gives us more time together right?" Sasuke only glared at her in response. It was so cold, so _evil_ that I would have sworn he was a monster if I hadn't known otherwise. I could see chills go down her back and she bolted out of the ruins. I could see the tears at the corners of her vision and felt bad. Even if she was a b*tch, she was only trying to comfort him. She shouldn't get rejected so brutally for that.

I walked forward so that I was standing next to him, not making eye contact. "I guess you want to give me a speech too?" Cold. His words stung but I refused to let them get to me.

"Nope, just standing here." We remained silent like that for a while.

"Look Sasuke, it's not doing any good just standing there."

"Leave me alone."

"You sound like a pouting four year old. Come on, whatever your searching for is close enough if we start looking sooner rather than later we can catch up and—"

"Leave me the f*ck alone!" His hiss echoed and I felt the venom in it during each echo.

"Stop trying to push people away, you b*stard! We're trying to _help _you!"

"I don't need your help," he spat.

"Just try!" I screamed, wincing at the harsh echo. "Try accepting someone's help for ONCE!"

"Accepting help?" he spat, narrowing the space between us so we were in each other's faces. "Where was all the 'help' when I was abandoned? Where was this 'help' when I NEEDED it?"

I bit my lip, wincing at the volume and darkness of his voice. So full of loathing, of hate, and pain.

"It's here now! SO accept it! I'm TRYING to understand how you can be so BLIND!"

"Don't you dare say that! You can not understand what I've been through!"

"Try me!"

"Having your whole clan MURDERED in front of you while you are helpless to do anything about it! Being abandoned by the ones you care about! Having NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE! Watching families living happily in their ignorance, not knowing what happened to you—not caring!

"Your life seems like some kind of movie. You see what's happening but you're numb. Suddenly, you're just going through the motions. Why was it you that survived? Why couldn't you have died too? Suddenly, you_wish_ you could have. You curse him for not killing you too."

"Then you push yourself and push yourself, willing to be the best, the strongest! You work until your knuckles bleed and your body breaks! You work because that's the only thing you can do to make it better—replace the pain in your heart with the pain in your body! You do that and you hurt yourself more when you're _not _the best! You don't think about the memories, because if you do it's like a dam breaks lose!"

"You…hurt people. You hurt people because it's all on the quest to becoming the strongest. You hurt people because _you_ hurt. You feel like they should feel your pain too. You hurt people because everyone calls you a murderer, why not be? You hurt people…because that's what _they _want you to be. They make you out to be the villain, so you fill the roll. You kill men, women…children…so much blood. It tears at you every single second of the day. You see all the blood in your dreams…and suddenly…suddenly it's not _him_doing all the killing in your nightmares…it's…it's…you."

I just stood there numbly. All of this hate…it was for himself? He loathes himself? I saw the tears in his eyes. His body tumbled to the floor, his head still in his hands.

_Crying is a weakness; only the weak cry. _I had said that. I had meant that. But when I stood there with Sasuke opening himself and tears threatening to fall down his face even though I could tell he used every ounce of strength to keep them in…it was then that I noticed that crying didn't mean you were weak, it was something that needed to be let out, to be _shared._

That's why I went over to Sasuke and pulled him into my lap. I pulled him tightly into my arms and held him. Hell, I cried with him. I cried _for _him. Fate had dealt him such a bad hand. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't life be fair? Why was there so much pain for some people?

"Sasuke," I whispered. "It's okay to hurt…to cry. Crying…it doesn't mean your weak, it means you're strong enough to show someone else that you hurt." I paused, noticing that he had gone completely silent.

"I don't know what you've been through—I can't imagine. But I do know that life isn't fair and that it hurts. But I'll be here, okay? Even if life deals me a bad hand, even if my body is broken—I'll be here. That way even if we both are hurt and are lonesome, we'll never truly be alone. We'll have each other."

"Two broken souls, picking up each other's pieces, mending scrapes and bruises, and helping each other stand—that'll be us…that'll be us."


	24. Love and Happiness

_I realize that in the story the characters might make light of facts or events that we ourselves find very crucial. This is on purpose. All the characters have gone through different things. They all react differently. They all know different things. They are all at a different stage of their lives. So no, Tenten wouldn't react as strongly to seeing Kakashi as Hana would. We are all unique, so let the characters be. Thanks!_

Special thanks to all of my amazing reviewers- new and old!

* * *

**My Heart Yearns**

_**Chapter Twenty-Four**_

* * *

**Month Twelve:**

The hostile atmosphere between us changed. It was less…well, hostile. But by the twelfth month of being away from Konoha, that was at the blackest recesses of both of our minds. Why? Because this person we were looking for had talked to Sasuke. He had told him to meet him somewhere. Even with Sasuke's and my…friendship? Even with Sasuke's and my friendship, I still was left out of the loop. I confronted him on it.

_"It's for your own good. The less you know the safer you are. People would kill for this information."_

_"Are you saying that you can't trust me?"_

_He sighed. "No. I'm saying I don't want you dead, okay?"_

_I took a sharp intake of breath. "Okay."_

When we reached this remote place tucked between miles and miles of woods, we stopped. Sasuke insisted on going in alone. He said he would kill anyone who followed him himself. Then he just left. I reached out a hand toward him, as if to stop him. But I froze. This was something he needed to do, right? My hand dropped to my side. I was pretty sure he was going to go in there and kill whoever that person was. I was pretty sure he might regret it later, but he wouldn't be able to move on with his life without this, so I stayed back, silently praying that he would come out alive.

Juugo then insisted I go with him. Battles were brewing around us and I knew, I knew this was going to be a long day. I could feel the anticipation in my muscles, the prickle on my skin. I followed after him, Suigestu and Karin going there separate ways. Shinobi were close. Shinobi I didn't want to have to face. Shinobi I didn't want to have to see again.

**Month Thirteen:**

Sasuke had survived—barely. Something in him changed. I didn't see him for about a month later after the battle with that someone. He came back with blood-stained clothes and scars. He didn't say much and I simply smiled and nodded at him, my small gesture of saying a million other words I could have spurted out. My older self would have sputtered on and on about what I had been up to, trying to fill the silence that followed. The newer —no the newest me—refused to babble _or_pretend it never happened.

I did what I was getting good at: I rolled with it, accepted the ache of pain, and moved on. Is life long enough to waste time on trivial things? No, I don't think so.

That also may explain why I was surprised when Sasuke mentioned going back to Konoha. I mean, complete 360? I could only blink at him at the time.

"I want…I want to go back and right all the things I've done wrong. I want to apologize for all the hearts I've…all the problems I've caused." I pretended I didn't notice his substitution. "I'm not commanding you to go with me."

_Come with me_, I could practically hear his unspoken plea. I bit my lip. Konoha. Would Hana be there? I knew that's why Sasuke wanted to go. He had this bond with her…I don't know how to describe it. He felt like she was his gravity, the only sane thing in his life. The only thing keeping him tied down to the ground, the only thing keeping him from going crazy.

For a moment I was hurt. What did that make me? Was I just a stepping stone? Was I like a magnet compared to her gravity? I could taste the blood in my mouth.

"Sasuke, I—" He could tell the second I spoke his name what my decision was. He was an expert on reading people, especially me. I guess my mask wasn't as good as I thought. He turned around quickly, so I could only stare at his back and the way his hair rustled from the sudden movement.

"Arigato, Ten." I gasped. "Thanks for…everything."

And like that, he was gone. Like that, I was alone again. Like that, I went grasping for my chest. A hollow ache resonated from the place where my heart should be. Was I that much of a coward that I couldn't face my old friends? Where did the new and improved me suddenly go? Why was I reverting into my old self?

"Sasuke!" I screamed, my voice sounding raspy and screechy to my ears.

No response.

Only the sound of rustling leaves, a meandering stream, and the wind going through my hair. I bit my lip again, harder. I tried to hold back the tears that were forming at the corners of my eyes. _Hell, no one's around!_I let the tears stream silently down my face. I did, however, refuse to sob or whimper or anything that would give away the tears.

Sasuke was gone.

Why did that hurt so fucking much?

A sudden breeze caught me off guard and I took a sharp intake of breath. My breathing then came out in short gasps. I didn't look back. I pushed my hands from beside me to behind my back slightly. Hands larger and longer than my own caught them.

"Did you really think I would let you stay behind?" My heart pitter pattered in my chest, his warm hands encircling my own, making it hard for me to think. Warm breath on my neck caused a shiver to wrack down my body.

"Thank Kami you're such a selfish man," I whispered.

"Hnn." With that I turned to face him, dropping his hands. I smiled at him, meeting an emotionless face. His mouth was straight, the tips not turned up or down. His eye brows were held normally neither raised nor scrunched up. His eyes, though. Oh, his eyes. They were the same charcoal color I suspected they'd always been, but in them glinted something new—something light and shimmering. My smile widened, reaching my eyes.

_You're changing, Sasuke._I wanted to sing. I wanted to shout. Hell, I would have _danced_I was so happy! _You're changing for the better._

**Month Fourteen:**

Something had gone so terribly wrong with something so beautifully right. He was taken away from me. Kami, he was gone! They took him and shackled him. They grabbed onto him, pulling his arms in a painful position and hitting his chakra points. They put a chakra receder on him. They put chakra infused metal strings on him. They acted like he wasn't human, like he was some kind of wild animal that they had tried to tame, but ended too wild and had to be put down.

Hands gripped my wrists tightly, forcing me too into a painful hold. I noticed it was Neji holding onto me. Rough, he was so rough on me. I didn't bother to take in his changed appearance; my life source was being pulled away in a different direction! To somewhere with a strange feel that made me shiver, to someplace dark, somewhere _evil_.

"Stop!" I screamed, thrashing at Neji. "Don't you dare hurt him! Don't fucking touch him!" I kicked, I thrashed, I bit, and I'm sure I bruised. But it was all in vain. He was pulled away, out of sight. I sagged against my captor's grip. It was over. My life was over.

"Tenten, stop! We can still save you from execution," Neji said quickly, a plan forming in his head, I'm sure. "Pretend you're not attached to him. They'll pardon you. Everything will go back to normal."

"I don't want everything to go back to normal," I told him, falling to the ground when he stopped holding me so tightly. His hands lingered on my wrists, but not so tight that they bruised my skin.

"They'll kill you, Tenten. He's a traitor," Neji said earnestly. He had really cared for me, I realized. He wanted everything to go back to the way they were before everything changed so many months ago. But it couldn't. I wasn't the same angry person I was before. I had become someone more positive, more cheerful. And my reason for happiness, cheerfulness, and life had just been ripped from me.

"Kill me," I whispered. "You might as well kill me."

_(Hana)_

They forced me to leave. Kakashi drug me away from Sasuke and out of that dirty pit of a dungeon. I didn't even fight him. It hurt so much that Kakashi hated me so much. It hurt that any small amount of hope that I might have had of us being a couple again, was gone. He had moved on.

I didn't see the new hokage after leaving the dungeons. Kakashi lead me to our old house. It still stood tall and white, it's blue shutters and the flower boxes that were once full of flowers, broken and withered. We didn't talk at all and the silence was surprisingly not awkward. No one was struggling to make conversation. I fell into a daze, not being able to accept anything that was happening.

The neighbors were nervous around me, I found out when we arrived. It was like I was an enemy. They all ushered their children inside and told them not to talk to me or go near me. I half expected them to bar their windows and brace their doors.

I flopped down on the couch. Kakashi, obviously, wasn't living there anymore. I guess this place reminded him of me? Could that be a good thing? Maybe he still felt something for me. I felt it again, the hope bubbling inside my chest.

_Don't get your hopes up, Hana._ I chastised myself. _You'll just hurt yourself again._

I stayed in the house for days, mulling over anything and everything. I wondered if Takeo was put to death, or at least jailed. I wondered if that evil secretary of mine had taken over _my_country yet. Funny how they all betrayed me, yet I still cared about them.

On the fourth day of me living in Konoha again, I left the house. I walked through the town, seeing all the destruction. What had happened here? I soon found out that not only were my neighbors nervous of me, everyone was nervous of me. People stared at me wherever I went. When I entered a shop, it was like a domino effect of heads whipping in my direction.

Let's just say it made me feel outcast. What had I done to deserve this? Leaving Kakashi? He left me first! It was easier to put all the blame on him, rather than accept that maybe it wasn't entirely his fault. Maybe if I had stayed, not acted irrationally, maybe he would have come back. Was that the problem in our relationship? That we were both hurt easily, and then reacted without thinking?

The next day when I was spending time outside the house, I saw Kakashi. He was walking in his jounin uniform down the street of many of the shops. I stared at him as he walked by. He didn't even glance at me. I felt my heart squeeze in my chest. I bit my lip.

_Don't show him that you care,_I told myself. _Don't give him the satisfaction._

I went up to the Hokage Tower again. I went to visit Sasuke. They wouldn't let me in. This new hokage, there was something off about him, something _wrong._It wasn't that he was covered in bandages—I'd seen plenty of injured people before. It was that he had this creepy presence. Something was off about his chakra signature.

I briskly ignored it, focusing on ways I could visit Sasuke. Barging in there would do me little good. Yes, I would see him once, but they would soon force me back and make sure it never happened again. So I continued in my mulling.

When moseying around, I did what I was good at—I wrote. It was a way of letting out all the emotions I was bottling up inside. It kept me from going insane.

_Dear Kakashi,_

_My mind tells me not to hope,_

_My heart tells me to give you another chance._

_The truth is I'm not mad at you. I'm just hurt._

_The fact that every time your name pops up,_

_My heart sinks a little bit deeper in my chest._

_You don't realize what you've made me go through,_

_But I can guarantee you're not doing it again._

_Thanks for teaching me how much it hurts,_

_To be played, lied to, and hurt…_

_I've learned a lot._

_~Hana._

I pushed the letter deep under the pillows of the couch. I sat straight and breathed. So Kakashi was different. He was…crueler. But maybe he believed what he said about Sasuke. Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing.

Was he happy?

I lifted myself from my couch, looking outside of the window. Seeing none of my neighbors out, I took off. I walked down the near empty streets. I saw him then. He was talking to a beautiful black haired, red eyed woman. A woman he had feelings for forever now. I just couldn't compare.

I watched them, feeling my heart sink so deep into my chest that it was in my stomach. The woman laughed at what he said and a smile appeared on his face. It lit up the features that I had assumed were in a permanent frown.

Was he happy?

Yes, he was happy.

Was I happy?

Of course not.

I turned around, going back to where I'd come. I realized in that second that it didn't matter if I was happy or not. It didn't matter I f my lungs would collapse, my brain turn to gush, and my heart squeeze. All that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was if he was happy. If he was happy, I could cope. If he was happy, I would put my silly feelings aside.

I realized that love isn't selfish.

I realized that I loved Kakashi Hatake—and that I could never truly have him.

I realized that loving someone means wishing what's best for them—not myself.

So despite the ache in my chest and the tears in my eyes, a smile found its way onto my face. There was newfound energy in my step. The sky above me held fewer clouds. The sun shone brighter.

I realized that life would go on.

_(Tenten)_

I found myself uncomfortable around someone I had once been close to. I had once considered Neji Hyuuga family. But Neji and me? We had once lied to ourselves that we had a chance—that we could work out. But that had been a lie.

I was put under house arrest. A ridiculously mild punishment compared to Sasuke's. What was the difference between us? We had both left the village behind. The only difference was that he had fought to become stronger; _killed_to become stronger. Literally.

I wasn't saying that I condoned the countless lives that he ended too soon. I'm not saying that I didn't feel for all the families that were torn apart abruptly. I _did_feel for them. I had felt something very, very similar. But Sasuke wasn't a bad person. He didn't go to bed at night thinking about killing people and how to experiment on their children. That was Orochimaru, not Sasuke, and people didn't draw the thick line that should be between them.

Orochimaru was a killer because he enjoyed it. Sasuke was a killer because he felt he had to do it. He did it because he felt like that was the only way to accomplish something that actually felt like the right thing to him. He thought avenging his family was the one good thing he could actually do—to make up for all the bad things he believed himself responsible for.

It was awkward when Neji and Lee took me out of the house to a ramen bar. It wasn't that we hadn't been there a million times before, memorized the menu, and knew everyone there's name by heart. It was that conversation was hard to find and I had changed once again.

It wasn't that I was bipolar—hell, maybe I was. It was that I had always believed what I was brought up believing. The Academy told us what we believed was right and wrong. In a way, we were robots. This person is bad because he did this. This person is good even though he did this because he did this to make up for it.

Who were we to judge who was right and who was wrong?

Lee filled the tense atmosphere with gossip. I learned the name of the new hokage—Danzo. I learned that he was supposedly the leader of a group called Root but not to tell anyone because it was confidential.

These people were once my closest friends and utter confidants. So when a smile broke out across my face, it was genuine. Not some plastic guise that I pulled out of my ass. I felt us slipping into our old roles. Before I became depressed. Before I left Konoha.

"Lee, you sure as hell better not drink that!" I said, grabbing away the sake bottle he had bought. I placed it in front of Neji, who could hold his liquor better than any man I had ever met.

"Why does _he_get to drink it?" Lee whined, motioning toward Neji.

"I don't tear down buildings when I'm drunk."

"That was once!"

"I recall at least twice," I said, laughing at how quickly the tension between us lifted.

"Tenten!" I turned around to see Kiba, Hinata, and Shino. Kiba had been the one to call my name, the other two being more withdrawn. I eyed the arm he had nonchalantly placed over Hinata's shoulders. Smooth, Kiba, smooth. I glanced over to Neji who seemed slightly agitated but not furious over the gesture. I raised an eyebrow. How long has this been going on?

"No need to shout, her hearing is still intact," Neji said, rolling his eyes beside me. The bar was suddenly more crowded. Shino took the seat next to Neji, happy to sit next to someone less loud than the dog boy.

"H-he's excited…t-that's all," Hinata said quietly, a small smile on her face. Kiba pulled a chair up on my left, obviously avoiding the older Hyuuga cousin on my right. Lee happily moved over so that Hinata could have the seat next to Kiba.

"Yo, Kiba!" I called pointing to Neji's now empty sake bottle. "Next round is on you!"

"Minus Lee," Shino supplied what everyone had been thinking.

"I know," Lee sighed, sipping his sprite and cherry syrup drink.

"Arm wrestle me!" Kiba told me. I laughed, instantly accepting. Hinata giggled, cheering Kiba on.

"Start in three, two, one…go!"

Later that night when I lay in bed I felt guilty. Guilty because there I was, drinking myself happy with my old friends, while Sasuke lay somewhere unknown, shackles on his feet and wrists. How could I be so selfish?

All I could see in my head was the image of Sasuke being pulled away and chained. All I could see was Neji telling me to lie about him to save myself. All I saw was the flicker of Sasuke's eyes to mine. He was saying, "_We wanted this—I wanted this. I'm going to pay for my past mistakes the only way I know how. Don't try to stop me. Don't get into any trouble because of me."_

It all made me feel terribly guilty. Guilty because I had even thought about what Neji said. Guilty because Sasuke trusted me and cared about me so much that he would have told me to do the same thing. No matter what way I moved things around in my head, Sasuke would be victimized.

I had promised I would be there for him. But now I wasn't.

I had nightmares that night.

The next morning—around four o'clock to be exact—I came up with a plan. It wasn't full proof or anywhere close to that. It was flawed and I didn't have a plan b. But it was the only thing I could come up with on the fly.

I found myself lying to someone I had once been close to. I pretended to be what I had once been: immature. I wouldn't eat in front of him, wouldn't talk to him, and would say that I wished to be killed. A year ago, I would have meant all those things. A year ago, I hadn't found someone to live for.

Neji and the others were completely thrown off by my one eighty behavior, but I guess I used to be pretty bipolar, because they believed it. The others stopped visiting me and I thought this for the better, for I would be less likely to go back to my comfort zone and forget the plan.

After maybe a week of not eating, I was sent to the hospital. They put me on an IV drip and several other needles punctured my body. Everything was a bit hazy because I had actually had to starve myself. But if I blinked enough, I could see well enough.

Neji stayed by my side for hours upon hours. It made me feel bad about betraying him. He had cared for me and done everything in his power. I was willingly going to hurt him. I was willingly going to try to help someone that had hurt him.

But all I could see in my head was the image of them treating Sasuke like he was an animal being lead to the slaughter. All I could see was this changing Sasuke. This boy who was finally becoming a man. A boy, who had had his problems, dealt with them the best he could, and was now owning up to the consequences.

When I felt my body start to become stronger, I made my move. I yanked the needles from my skin, made my way to Neji, and hit a pressure point behind his neck, watching as he fell backward in an induced sleep. I was no byakugan user, but I had read enough books to know the general positions of the chakra points and which ones did what. I only hoped I hit the right one. Without the eyes, it was impossible to tell until the symptoms later arose.

I slipped out of the hospital gown, spotting my old clothes and pulling them on. I filched Neji's weapons pouch, a signed paper from the Hokage stating the person's position in anbu, and tore the sleeve off of my left arm, exposing my old anbu tattoo.

I was lucky I knew Konoha like the back of my hand. The hospital was right near the Hokage building. The guards were suspicious of me at first. "I'm speaking on behalf of the council at the Uchiha's prosecution. The Hokage re-enlisted me into duty."

The guard there studied my tattoo and the signed paper once more before ushering me forward. He didn't even follow me in. I practically broke the door to the dungeon off of its hinges. I took the dark, eerie stairs two at a time.

My heart was beating a mile per minute. I pushed off the last stair and turned to the left, going toward the S-Ranked holding cell. I undid the various locks on the metal door and pushed it open, wincing at the loud sound it made. Hay itched at my feet and the humid air prickled at my skin, but I could only stare at the man in front of me.

I could only stare at the bandages over his eyes, the dried blood soaked to them. My breath lodged in my throat. My brain went blank. His head shot up and I could tell he was straining to sense me. He was straining to tell who I was. I let my chakra seep out around me, hoping he would recognize it. Words were too much for me.

My heart leaped out of my chest when I saw him shrink back on his stool. He was afraid. He had lived his whole life relying on his eyes and his sharingan. Now without them, he felt helpless and weak.

Blood boiled beneath my veins. What sick bastard had done this to him? My face grew hot with anger. I yanked the keys off of the wall and pushed them through the key hole, turning it angrily.

"Sasuke, it's me—Tenten." His body jerked straight, shock eminent under the wrappings.

"Tenten, get out of here."

"No," I said going up to him and cutting his chakra strings with my own chakra. "I'm here to help you."

"Tenten, I…"

"Let me help you," I begged him, standing him up on his feet. I watched him, waiting for his response. It came a few seconds later, in the form of a sigh.

"Okay."

And we were rushing out of there.

Sasuke may have been blind, but he still had his chakra. He pushed it out in front of himself, feeling with his chakra instead of his eyes. That's why he didn't notice the kunai that was thrown at him as he opened the dungeon door. Thank kami I was able to block it with another kunai.

In front of us stood the very, _very_creepy Hokage who had stolen his position from the _real_hokage. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked in his old, wise-ass sounding voice.

"I'm getting Sasuke out of here so your nasty hands can't touch him," I said narrowing my eyes into slits.

"My nasty hands?" he sounded like he was talking to himself. "Do you want to see what I have on my hands?" He slowly pulled the bandages from on top of his hands. Both Sasuke and I gasped—Sasuke, because he had felt the familiar spike of chakra and me because I saw the sharingan eyes staring back at me.

"Those…that's impossible!" I gasped as I recognized those eyes. They were Sasuke's eyes. What…what a cruel bastard.

I instinctively pulled Sasuke behind me. Something deep, down inside of me burst. Darkness suddenly filled my veins. I actually wished to kill this man in front of me. Not only kill, but to torture in the most violent ways.

"These are my trophies…each pair gathered over time. With so few left, I couldn't resist." The creepy part was that the man's voice stayed emotionless as he spoke. I couldn't help but stare at the eyes that belonged to Sasuke. How could someone just cut them out?

"Tenten, don't look!" But it was too late. The world around me suddenly changed. Black and white entered my vision, pain erupting everywhere in my body. Sasuke was suddenly in front of me, his eyes still intact and on his face. A wooden cross held me down and I got the feeling that this wasn't Sasuke in front of me.

"What do you fear most, Tenten Mitsashi?"

I screamed.

_(Sasuke)_

I hadn't felt useless since before I had gone to Orochimaru. I had worked long hours, killed thousands of people, and surpassed everyone so that I could know I was not useless. I had perfected my eyes and even killed Itachi. But now all the time I had spent honing my eyes was worthless. It was like a step backward because now my enemy had them.

It made me angry that he had just taken them from me. Used me like a bit of property and thrown be down into those dungeons because he had nothing left to do with me. I had every reason to be angry. And that's why being livid didn't surprised me.

What did surprise me, though, was this protective feeling I felt over Tenten. It made me feel utterly useless because I _couldn't_protect her. She deserved someone who could.

I managed to somehow catch her before she hit the ground. I set her down gently and reached for the kunai in her weapons' pouch. I stood up and tried with all my being to somehow be able to see my surroundings.

It didn't come in the form of me seeing from my eyes on Danzo's hand or growing new eyes on my own face. It came in an odd sensation of swirling blue. I couldn't see, that much was obvious. But it was _almost_like seeing. When Danzo raised his hand to attack me, I _felt_it. I threw a kunai, catching him off guard.

He laughed. "I hadn't expected your aim to still be good. I shouldn't have underestimated an Uchiha."

"Damn straight." I carefully avoided harming Tenten's body in anyway. I pushed forward with attacks on Danzo, him suddenly finding himself on the defensive side. I felt a surge of power run through me and this other light, fluttery feeling enter me. Something that felt suspiciously like hope.

The feeling was squashed as quickly as it had come. Danzo gripped a hand around my forehead—_hard._He threw my body into the ground, still holding me, and pushing me into the floor beneath us. I couldn't understand how I could feel dizzy without being able to see. Nothing really made sense anymore.

I reached out to the girl beside me, my hand contacting her own. It was warm and I held it tightly. I was going to die. But for some odd reason, that was okay. It was okay because I had fulfilled my promise to my family. It was okay because Itachi was in a better place. It was okay because Tenten had stopped me from becoming truly evil.

_Tenten!_

It was suddenly completely _not_okay. She didn't deserve to die this way. Not spending seventy-two hours in Tsukunomi, being tortured with only Kami knows what, and then being killed in the most horrific way possible. No, Tenten deserved some good in her life. I felt guilty for having brought her here. She had obviously not wanted to come.

I almost lost her over it.

I didn't know what I was going to do if she hadn't stopped me. Would I have stayed with her, rather than return? Would everything be better? Would I be able to see? To protect her?

I was now full of regret. Regret that I couldn't tell Hana that she _had_done her best. Regret to tell Kakashi it wasn't his fault. Regret to tell Naruto that I never really severed that bond. Regret to tell Tenten that I didn't believe in love, but that I definitely felt something toward her.

I could picture Itachi in front of me, shaking his head, disappointed that I had given up so easily. _What would you have me do?_I spoke to him. He just continued shaking his head side to side. _What the hell should I do?_ I shouted. He looked up at me, his sharingan eyes blaring at me.

_Live._

One simple word that was a million times harder than it sounded. _I promise, brother. I promise that I will do my best, but that I cannot accomplish the impossible._

I could picture him smirking coyly in front of me, like he knew something that I did not.

I understood just milliseconds later when a familiar loud voice shouted, "What the _hell_is going on?"

_Naruto._


	25. Hate

_******My Heart Yearns**_

_**Chapter Twenty-Five**_

* * *

_(Kakashi)_

**Month One:**

I was constantly on missions…one after another, never stopping to rest. The Hokage would have protested, but she needed the help. She was running low on ninja as it was. What with both Tenten and Naruto gone. Tenten's team had all but retired after her leave. They were unfit for combat and the Hokage treated them as such.

The ANBU uniform felt odd on me. I felt like I had gone way back—back to before I met Hana as Uindo. I felt like a different person who somehow had those memories transferred over. I felt like Hana and the family we had made together was just a past figment of my imagination.

Her betrayal was constantly on my mind.

And it hurt like someone rubbing salt into a fresh wound.

**Month Two:**

Month two was definitely easier than month one, but only because of the lack of sleep. It was starting to make me delirious. I often forgot chunks of time. But luckily for me, the Hokage didn't notice. If she had noticed, I don't know what I would have done. She would have pulled me off of active duty and forced me to sleep.

And sleeping brought on nightmares.

Nightmares I hadn't had in a while.

Like since Obito's death.

**Month Three:**

The Hokage noticed how delirious I was. She actually got a whole report on it. I had zonked out during a mission. Not only had I fainted, but afterward I couldn't recall any of the mission itself.

I was confined to my home. The one _she _and I had shared. The one that was white with the blue shutters. The one that she planted a garden around, even putting up little flower boxes full of various flowers. Shereally liked flowers.

I tried to walk into the house like I didn't care. It didn't work. When I walked into our old room, I yanked her drawer open—the top one with the faded copper handles. Some of her clothes were still in it. I pulled them out and brought them to my nose, smelling them, taking them in like they were some sort of drug.

Lavender. I laughed sardonically. She always smelled like some kind of flower. I dropped the article of clothing back in and pulled the entire drawer out. I dumped it over the bed. I kicked my shoes off. I pulled off my shirt and my pants. I even got rid of my dark colored mask. I lay on the bed and pulled a pillow into my chest. For a few seconds, I could almost convince myself that she was there. I smelled in and pulled the pillow closer to me, bolting my eyes shut. It was almost like she was lying there in my arms.

I slept that night.

**Month Four:**

The clothes idea only worked for about a week, but that's all I needed. I was reinstated to active duty. Life would go on. I could forget about…_her. _I had made a silent promise to myself, that I wouldn't mention her name.

Every time I did, I felt guilty. I felt like it was my fault she was miles away. All I ever did was turn people away. Obito, Ren, Minato-sensei…everyone I cared about I pushed away. I was scared and too afraid to admit it. I was scared to let someone close because I always ended up hurting them.

**Month Five:**

Month five went by in a complete blur of missions. The Hokage asked me to take on another team of genin. I accepted reluctantly, her having to threaten to suspend me from active duty. When I arrived to the academy—fashionably late—three newly genin stared up at me. The same structure—two boys and one female to a group. A strong boy, a weak boy, and a mediocre girl.

When I opened the door, I moved out of the way for an eraser to fall on my head. But none did. I stepped into the room expecting bickering, but only three pairs of wide eyes stared up at me. I expected at least one to accuse me of being late, but apparently that was the last thing on their minds.

"Sensei!" They all said in unison.

They arrived at eight o'clock on the dot the next morning. I had arrived three hours late. Still, they gave off no complaints and didn't even demand me to make up some lame excuse. They hadn't eaten breakfast, I could tell by the rumbling sound from each of their stomachs. All three looked completely embarrassed.

I didn't pass them.

The weak boy didn't blatantly try to take me on. The strong boy didn't try to take me by himself. The girl didn't search endlessly for the strong boy, and fall into my weak genjutsu.

I don't know why, but something inside of me sank.

The three tried to work together to get the two bells. Right from the get-go. They were probably the best team I had ever seen. They were perfectly balanced and worked well as a team. They didn't bicker, they stayed focused on the mission, they helped each other, and they even boosted each other up!

But I just made it harder for them to take a bell. When the alarm rang, I didn't even give them the chance to eat the food and redeem themselves. I told them they failed and to go enjoy lunch.

The Hokage didn't suspend me from active duty—she doubled my missions. I missed my team and it was obvious. I missed the stoic black haired boy who reminded me so much of myself sometimes. I missed the blond that acted immature but held a smart head high no matter what. I even missed the pink haired girl who though lacked strength, had perfect chakra control.

**Month Six:**

Half a year after she left, I was still trying to forget her. So I did the only thing that seemed reasonable at the time—I tried to start another relationship. Kurenai and I had always had a thing for each other. It would've worked too, if not for Asuma. I found out quickly that Asuma and Kurenai were serious. It made me sad at first, but I'd move on.

I decided I wanted someone the complete opposite of _her._

I met Kaeda in a weapon shop.

She was strong,

Confident,

Independent,

Tall,

Light-haired,

Brown-eyed,

Determined.

All in all, she was everything Hana wasn't.

All in all, she wasn't my type.

**Month Seven:**

I took Kaeda out on a date.

She hates flowers.

She smells like vanilla.

My arms don't fit right around her.

Why do I feel guilty?

**Month Eight:**

Kaeda and I didn't work out. She was too different for me. I then decided I needed someone just like Hana to replace her. I met Rina in a flower shop.

She had dark brown hair,

Light blue eyes,

Pale skin,

A petite figure.

She loved flowers,

Ice cream,

She was loyal,

Cheerful,

Optimistic.

I smiled at her under my mask, but she couldn't tell. That's okay, I told myself. You've only known her for a short time. How would she be able to tell?

**Month Nine:**

"Let's go swing on the swings," Rina suggested, a large grin on her face. She raced to the swings, her hair flowing behind her. I followed her with my hands in my pockets. She giggled beside me.

We sat on the swings side by side. Rina turned hers so that she was facing me. "I really like you, Kakashi," she told me, pulling my hands into her own. They were small and delicate, but they just weren't right.

Her hands went to my face, the left one cupping my cheek. The right one went to push my headband up. A small gasp escaped her mouth when she saw my sharingan eye. "Sorry, surprised me is all," she said before a small smile found its way onto her face.

Both hands suddenly cupped my cheeks and her fingers reached the edge of my mask to pull it down. I jumped up out of the swing. "I better get going," I told her hurriedly. She nodded with a sad smile on her face.

I left the park with my hands in my pocket. Rina didn't leave her position on the swing, she just watched me as I left.

I ran a hair through my spiky silver hair.

What was wrong with me?

Rina was a beautiful woman with a great personality.

Someday she'd make a man very happy.

That man isn't going to be me.

**Month Ten:**

Breaking up with Rina was harder than I thought it would be. She burst into tears and started throwing objects at me. "What's wrong with me?" She threw a shoe and I quickly ducked. "Is it my looks? My personality?" Another shoe flew my way. "Is it my love for fish?"

"Rina—"

"Shut the hell up, I don't want to hear your voice!" She stopped throwing things at me and proceeded to push me out of the house. When I got to the porch, she stood with the door in her hands, glaring at me. "To think I thought you were the perfect guy! How wrong I was!" She slammed the door in my face.

I walked down her steps and away from her house, my hands in my pockets.

Of course I'm not the perfect guy.

I'm all messed up inside.

That's what being a ninja does to you.

That's when I knew only one dark haired, blue eyed, shy, optimistic, royal ninja would ever hold my heart.

I brought my hand to the space between my eye brows, trying to rub away the headache.

And I'd let her slip between my fingertips.

**Month Eleven:**

Tsunade was in a coma. Pein attacked the village. Now someone named Danzo was acting as Hokage until Tsunade came out of her coma.

I had a bad feeling about him, though.

Why was Tsunade in a coma?

And why did this man just now come out of the shadows?

Too much shady business for me.

**Month Twelve:**

Danzo had a meeting with the Konoha Council and declared Sasuke a traitor. If spotted, he would be executed on the spot. Anger boiled within me but there was nothing I could do. I needed to do research on this man because he looked too suspicious.

I tried to get information out of Sai, because I learned that Sai works for Danzo, but Sai said that he put a curse on his tongue so that he cannot speak a word about him. Sneaky little bastard.

I went to the history section of the library. I went to the restricted part of the library, having a free pass for being in ANBU. I found out that Danzo had been on the council for years. He had established Root as his personal league of ninja.

No, I didn't like this guy one bit.

**Month Thirteen:**

Sasuke and Tenten just showed up at the front gates of Konoha. Sasuke was locked up on the spot and sent to the S-Ranked criminal dungeons. I watched from the shadows as they beat him and sent him down a tunnel I had never noticed before. Where were they taking him?

I would've found out too if it weren't for Danzo's eye meeting mine in a warning. I left his office straight away; however, the screams could be heard through the entire building. Screams of a helpless man, a man who had lost everything. Screams of a man who truly thought he was dying, or would have rather been dying.

_Sasuke._

Why were people of the world so cruel?

**Month Fourteen:**

Could my ears be true? Was I hearing reports of Hanayo Nakamura being spotted back in Konoha? My personal desires had to be put aside, though. Danzo had spies everywhere. I needed to prove myself loyal to him. He was always watching. A hawk circled above me.

Speak of the devil.

I raced as fast as I could to the Hokage Tower. I burst open his door, landing in a crouching position, perfecting my emotionless look. "Hokage-sama," I spoke. I had to force myself not to turn and look at her. It had been so long, had her appearance changed? Had she gotten white hair? Had she gained weight or lost weight? Did she hold herself differently?

I didn't have the pleasure of finding out.

"Ah, Kakashi," Danzo said, that creepy smirk on his face. "Look who just popped in for a visit." It was only then that I let my eye flicker to her. No, her appearance hadn't changed—at least not much. She was the same beautiful woman I had fallen in love with. She looked skinnier, though—almost unhealthily skinny. I felt my heart throb in my chest. Had I done this to her?

"Nakamura," I spoke with a nod, keeping my reaction as safe as possible. I had never felt anything for her last name. It was as unfeeling as my last name. The only purpose was to connect you to your family, and I hadn't known anyone of her family.

"Hatake," she spoke, her voice wavering at the end. She grit her teeth together. I wanted so badly to rush over to her, pull her into my arms, and apologize for everything I'd ever done to wrong her.

"Is there a reason you wanted me, Hokage-sama?" He was playing with us without even realizing it. I had to be strong, though. I couldn't let him know that I still felt for her, or she'd be at risk.

"Actually—yes. Please show Hanayo to the prisoner." He was a cold hearted bastard. We left his office and a pregnant silence fell over us. I looked straight ahead, careful not to look at her. If I started, I might not be able to stop myself.

I had to stay alert. In these times, when you can't trust anyone you work with. In these times…I felt like the third ninja war was about to break out. If Danzo had his way, I'm sure it would.

We walked to the end of the long hallway and turned right, opening a large metal door. The room smelled moldy. Water could be heard dripping in the background. I lead her down a long staircase that leads to far beneath Konoha. So far that the villagers couldn't hear the prisoners' screams.

I could heart Hana almost slip several times. I had to bolt myself in my place so that I wouldn't turn to steady her. I lead her down the left hallway and opened the locked door with a key I had grabbed from behind one of the torches. We entered the room and I finally let myself study her. I watched as she twirled around like a ballerina, studying the room. She first noticed the bars in front of us, and then the hay on the floor. Her body froze when she noticed Sasuke's figure.

He sat there on a wooden stool with his arms tied behind his back with chakra infused string. He was so skinny that as he leaned over on the stool, it looked like his spine was sticking right out of his back. A cloth was tied in front of his eyes and I had to quench down the anger.

They had removed his eyes? I grit my teeth together, anger flaring through my veins. Danzo and I were going to have a serious talk. "Sasuke," she whispered, going closer to his cell. She pushed herself against the bars and I wished so deeply that I could comfort her right now. Sasuke's head jerked upward, looking for Hana's voice. He didn't speak and tears started to flow down Hana's face.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Hana's voice came out as a whisper. I think she had finally noticed his cuts from the torture. She sobbed and then bit her lip. She quickly turned on me.

"You," she pointed a delicate finger at me. "You did this to him!"

It hurt my heart that she was so quick to blame me. Did she not know me better than that?

"He betrayed the village," I said. "He cannot be trusted."

His spies are everywhere.

"That doesn't mean you treat him like some animal!" She yelled, pushing closer to me.

"He killed hundreds—he deserves to be treated as such." She gripped me by my throat, I didn't bother trying to stop her. She deserved someone to let her anger lose on.

"No human deserves that," she whispered so close to my face that it tickled my skin. Funny how she hates me right now and all I can think about is the feeling of having her so close.

"He's not human to me anymore." She released her hold on my neck and pain shot through my face. She slapped me.

"How can you say that? He was practically your son!" Sasuke _was _the closest thing I had to a son. He was so like me, only we took different paths. When I chose to stay with my village, he chose to leave it.

"No, _Hanayo_," I said filling my voice with as much venom as I could. "He was practically _your _son. Where were you two months ago when he needed you?" Why was I taking my anger out on her? I was the only one to blame, yet I was trying to deceive myself. She punched me. My cheek moved under the force of her hand, my head whipping to the side. I could taste blood in my mouth and quickly spat the metallic liquid out. She stepped back away from me, as if I were the one who had just punched her.

"You walked out on your entire family. You expect them to just accept you with open arms?" I opened the door and glared at her. She acted like she had the right to be angry with me. Did she? All she ever did was lie to me. Lie after lie after lie. "Things are different now." With that, I went to slam the door.

"I hate you!" She screamed. Those words tore at my heart more than I would have liked. I had finally accepted that she was the only woman I would love that way. The only woman I would ever hold that way again. I looked up at her, at her beautifully pained face. At her simple clothes that made her natural beauty pop out even more.

"Good," I spoke, not letting my voice break. "I hate you too." With that, I slammed the door. The rock walls shuttered under the force and I found my back to the door, and my back sliding down it until I hit the cold floor. I let one small tear slide its way down my face.

Why must the most beautiful, wonderful things come to an end?


	26. The End

A/N: This is the final chapter for My Heart Yearns. Thank you to everyone who has supported me for all of these years on this story! I am contemplating a sequel. Please message me with ideas or if you would like a sequel. Have a wonderful, beautiful life and I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I have.

AnimeXisXmyXstyle

* * *

_******My Heart Yearns**_

_**Chapter Twenty-Six**_

* * *

It wasn't until I heard Naruto's yell that I found myself sprinting to the Hokage building. I had felt something wrong, very wrong. I rushed down the street, pushing civilians and fellow shinobi out of my way. I heard my name being called, it rang as little more than an echo in the back of my head. All that mattered was that I could sense that the people that I loved were in danger.

I rushed into the room, smoke and debris smothering the room. In the corner, lay an unconscious Tenten and Sasuke. They lay, their hands laced together, pain plainly shown on their faces; however, Sasuke's had something else too. A sort of happiness and contentment. Like he had just accomplished something so much bigger than I could even imagine. A sudden yell pulled me out of my thoughts. In the corner across from them lay a writhering Naruto. Dangerous red chakra was pouring out of him in waves. The hairs on his face were growing rapidly, his nails lengthening at an inhuman rate. His eyes locked with mine. Red meeting black. It was a silent plea for help. A scream of bloody murder, something so monstrous and terrifying, that I felt the goosebumps stand up on my arms, echoed through the halls of the Hokage Tower. Naruto's eyes rolled back in his head, his body still twitching wildly.

A smirk grunt sounded from across from him and I turned to see Danzo there, grinning evily like had just won a prize. "I feel so...powerful." Black fire suddenly rushed at me, flaring with uncontrollabe flames. I watched as it destroyed everything in its path. I rushed to avoid its evil clutches. The laughs of a psychopath reverberated throughout the endless halls. "This is the power of the Uchiha clan!"

His eye, his left one, was bloody-almost as if red tears were streaming from his beady eye. A demonic face, one that riveled the nine-tailed fox inside of Naruto, presented itself on Danzo's face. I had known something was wrong with him. I had known he was too off, too sneaky, too slimy. A red burst of smoke suddenly catapolted towards me. I dodged out of the way just in time. The smoke's outstreched arms grabbed nothing, dispersing as it hit the wall.

"What did you do to them?" I yelled. Good, I thought. Get him talking. Get him distracted.

"Nothing that couldn't have been avoided. That Mitsashi girl could have been a fine shinboi. She had the makings of a legendary ANBU captain. And that Uzumaki boy, had he not gotten in the way of what I wanted, he too might have been saved. I would have kept him on a tight leash-we wouldn't want our trump card gallavanting around for any country to get their hands on, now would we? Now Sasuke," he said and laughed. "Sasuke was unavoidable. I knew he would be trouble...I'd always known he would be trouble. He wasn't supposed to survive, you see. I made sure he wouldn't. Something-or I should say, someone-was constantly watching over him. How fortunate for me that the neive boy killed the very man that was keeping him alive."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let me enlighten you," he said, forming handsigns rapidly. A water dragon rushed for me. I did the substitution technique and appeared diagonal to where I just was. "Many years ago, Itachi Uchiha was approached with a high level mission. So high, actually, that only the Hokage and the High Council knew about it. What was that mission, you must be asking yourself? He was given the objective of killing his entire clan."

"You see, I knew he would slip up. I knew he was too calm and mellow. The boy hated war and fighting. I knew he would not be able to kill off his darling little brother. That is why I made a deal with Madara himself-yes, the Madara. He ensured me that the boy would not survive. He didn't realize how thorough and to what means Itachi went to protect the boy. It was not by fate that he somehow managed to survive all these years. Itachi had rigged the game from the start. He threatened the village that should anything happen to Sasuke, he would tell everyone the true nature of the Uchiha Assassination. He cut off Orochimaru's hand, warning him to not lay a hand on Sasuke, knowing he would seek him out as a new container. When Itachi felt that Orochimaru was breaking this promise, he visited Sasuke, making sure he was prepared to face the snake-man."

"When Sasuke's mind began to go past the point of no return, turning twisted and vile, Itachi made sure that he would always have someone there that could truly understand his pain. He killed the Mitsashi girl's quainte little family, leaving her-like Sasuke-as the sole survivor. When she began to stray from the path he had set for her, finding comfort in a blond, hot-headed, stone ninja, he forced the said ninja into the Akatsuki, to ensure that she would never stray from the path. He even gave Sasuke a nudge in her direction by having one of his crows give Sasuke's animal-speaking friend information on a safe place that they could lay low for a while."

"He leaked information of his location to members of the Akatsuki that he knew to be spies. Surely enough, Sasuke showed up at the Uchiha Hideout to kill his brother. Right before his own death, Itachi transfered all of his remaining power into Sasuke, ensuring once again that no harm should befall his little brother. He even set it up that should Sasuke see Madara, Sasuke's sharingan would react with Amaterasu-this nifty black fire you wittness before you. Funny actually, that after the extent he went to keep this all hidden from him, Madara told the boy anyways."

"Itachi did all of this while he was a member of Akatsuki?"

"Most of it-yes. He was a highly intelligent boy, a shame really, that his abilities had to be sacrificed for the village. He had a way of always attaining what he wanted, by any means possible. He wanted Sasuke to be the one to kill him, so that he could be named a hero. He wanted Sasuke to restore honor to the Uchiha name. Quite hilarious that Itachi's only fault was having too much faith in his little brother. Look at him now, barely conscious on the floor. A sane man would have never returned to Konoha. A sane man would have never tried to save that girl. He was given so much potential to succeed and he still managed to fail."

"You speak of sanity as if you have any," I bite out. "Only a man driven solely by power would not understand the power of bonds. I believe that Sasuke finally understands that. He understands that he was never stronger than Naruto because he was powered soley by a desire to be stronger. He was fuled by hate and revenge, and so he was weak. Now, even without his eyes, he stands and fights. He is stronger than you, and the sad fact is that you can't see that and will probably never understand it, anyways."

"I am stronger!" Danzo yells, the sound similiar to that of a lion. "I am the one with Itachi's power flowing through my chakra system! I am the one with dozens of sharingan eyes! I am the HOKAGE!"

"The third Hokage once said that Konoha 'is a place where every year shinobi are born, raised, grow old, fight, and die to protect their home. These people are precious to me. We share a home, we share a life, and though we may not share ties of blood, they are precious to me. They are my family. And if I do fall you still will fail. I am only one of a long line. I carry this title in trust for those Hokage who came before and those who will come after. I am the Third Hokage!' You, Danzo, have none of the qualities that make up a Hokage. The people of the fire country will never accept your as their Hokage. They will never follow you into war because to them, you are nothing. You are as important to them as the dust beneath my sandals-trivial and pointless."

Black fire shot across the room once more. I danced with its lethal flames.

* * *

(Hana)

I was too late. Why was I always too late? I rushed through the giant double doors, pushing them open with all of my strength. The site that met my eyes made me scream out in heart wrenching pain. Remnants of purple smoke danced lazily around the room, as if their dance partner had left them alone and they had not the desire to carry on without a lead. Beneath that smoke, lay the body of the man that I loved with my entire heart. He lay there as but a pile of blood and bones, his body already limp in my arms as I rushed over to him and pulled him close to me.

"Kakashi!" I screamed. Nothing. I felt for a pulse, but none greeted me. Blood poured from the cracks in his lips. His eyes were closed, as if he had died in his sleep. I knew this not to be the case. He had died protecting his family, the very family I had yelled at him for neglecting. My heart wrenched in guilt. "Kakashi, I love you! Please, come back!"

My pleas fell upon deaf ears. His soul was gone, only his body remained. I pulled his hitai-ate off of his sharingan eye and dropped it to the floor beside me. I removed his dark mask, staring at the face of a man that had utterly changed my life. I carefully pushed the silver locks from his face. I pulled him as close to me as I could and I kissed his bloodied face. I kissed his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, his lips. I brought my lips so that they hovered just over his and whispered, hoping with every cell of my body, that he heard my words, "I love you."

* * *

I attended his funeral two days later. I forced myself to be the picture perfect widow. I cried my silent tears in a black dress, a black parcel placed delicately in my hand, sheltering me from the clouds' cruel tears.  
Iruka Umino gave his eulogy.

"Kakashi was a man of outstanding character. Not only was he an elite shinobi of the Fire Country, but he also was a dedicated husband and father. He was a friend who could keep any secret. Though, one could never tell if he was really listening or reading those damn books he always carried around with him." Chuckles echoed throughout the crowd of people, civillians and shinobi alike, that had gathered to mourn his loss. "But he was always there for you, no matter. He had an uncanny way of showing up whenever you needed him, like...like he could read your mind. He had his ups and downs, just like any other person. But Kakashi never allowed those downs to get the best of him. Even when he was at his very worst, he was a better man than I could ever hope to be."

* * *

"Hana, there's something that I think you should have." I turned around to meet face to face with Iruka.

"Iruka," I greeted, nodding my head.

"Kakashi gave me this before he died, incase anything were to happen to him. He wanted me to give it to you." He handed me a plain white envelope. Nondescript but carrying the world's greatest treasure, much like Kakashi himself.

"Thank you, Iruka."

* * *

Hana, my Uindo,

The person whose presence enkindled a fire within my heart.  
The person whom I owe my everything,  
I love you.  
Three simple words, eight meaningless letters,  
Yet one impossibly beautiful meaning.  
I love you.  
It feels so good to write that down. I have the worst tendency  
to keep everything bottled up inside. Know that it is not you,  
but my unending desire to protect those that I love from the  
cruelty in the world.

I realize that while you read this, you probably hate my entire being.  
I just wanted to tell you the utmost truth, because you deserve nothing  
less. I was wrong to ever have let you go. I realize now that it was my  
ability to blow a situation completely out of proportion, that caused you  
to hide being a princess away from me. At the time it seemed so important,  
but now I come to realize that it didn't change who you were at all.  
Uindo, Hanayo-Hime, or just Hana, you're still you. It doesn't matter  
that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. It doesn't matter  
that I often times find myself content in just being in your presence. It  
doesn't matter that your hair is soft, your eyes compassionate, your  
touch gentle. None of that matters because beneath all of that, you  
have a heart filled with so much love, that it pours out of you in  
waves, affecting everyone around you.

Everything that happened between us happened so fast. When I first saw you  
in that flower shop, I could read you so easily. You faked your smiles and your  
laughs. You giggled when you were supposed to and talked when it was  
appropritate. When I saw you in that flower shop, I instantly felt like we  
had an invisible tie. We both were so hidden deep inside of ourselves,  
that it was difficult to let ourselves free, to be who we are deep down.

All those times I bullied you as a kid were because I was insecure. I liked  
you, Hana. I liked you a lot. But what would you, a princess, want to do with  
a person like me? An orphan with no money, no name made for himself,  
only his natural talent as a shinobi. Bullying you made my feel better about  
myself. I used to revel in your failures because I saw myself as a failure. When  
I would hang out with Kurenai as a kid, it wasn't because I liked her-it was  
because I could control her. You, Hana, were as free as the wind. Nothing  
and no one could tie you down. I didn't realize that you were suffering...  
and not only from my bullying antics, but also from your broken family.  
That whole time all you wanted to do was be my friend, and I, being my stupid  
self, tortured you in ways only a peer could have. I wonder if things would be  
different if I had sucked up my damn pride and had been nice to you...but  
then I think, we wouldn't have shared all of these memories. We might  
not have ever met as adults.

I did not know that Danzo had done something so horrible to Sasuke...I  
found out at the same time that you did. The whole time I wanted to  
hold you close to me...but I couldn't. I couldn't be nice to you, Hana,  
because Danzo had spies everywhere. I knew something was wrong  
with him the moment I heard that Tsunade was in an unexplained coma.  
I didn't want him to hurt you. You'd been so abused in the past...I couldn't  
bare to have seen you harmed again.

I love you, because you see the best in everyone-even in someone like me.  
I hate that you always feel you are the one to blame, like you're individually  
responsible for anything and everything that happens.  
I love that you always put others before yourself, that you're so selfless.  
I...just...love you, everything about you. Your quircks, your fettishes,  
your pet peeves. Everything.

Smile, Hana, because you have a beautiful smile.  
Smile because I'm not the selfish man that I once was and I want you to have  
the world. I want you to have access to it at the edge of your finger  
tips. I love you and I can understand if you do not feel the same way about  
me. I am content with you being happy, because that's what true love is.  
Love is an unconditional desire for another to be happy.

Smile, Hana, really smile, because that will mean you are happy,  
and that will mean that I will be happy.

My Heart Is Yours For the Taking,  
the way it always should have been,

Kakashi Hatake

* * *

(Kakashi)

People say when you make a life altering decision, that everything seems to playout in slow motion and a million thoughts run through your head. It wasn't like that for me. There wasn't a decision for me; it was a need. It was something that i would have questioned anyone who had to decide. The image of my family fluttered into my mind. Hana stood with her long, silken hair, a soft smile on her face. She stood on her tippy toes so that she could fit her arms around Naruto and Sasuke's shoulders. Naruto's hair was longer and his face more mature. The grin on his face was the same one he had every time he was up to no good. Sasuke stood with his arms crossed, his eyes still where they belonged, rolling them at the whole commotion. A lopsided smirk betrayed his apathetic posture. Tenten stood with her arms around Sasuke's waist, an eye-shutting smile on her face. Her hair fell down in soft waves, finally free of those ridiculous buns.

They were my everything. My beginning, my middle, and-I noticed that in a few seconds-my end. That's why my hands fell into position, the words not escaping my mouth. That's why I appeared seconds later, in front of their beaten bodies. That's why I met Danzo head on, chidori flaring widly in my hand. Blue struck red and exploded into a burst of purple. One minute, I felt that every bone in my body was broken, and in the next I felt nothing. No pain. No hurt. No sadness.

I felt oddly...complete.

A white light flashed into the darkness, and I squinted my eyes to see. Was this the flash of bright light? Suddenly pain spread through my whole body. My scream tore through the silence, echoing off its endless choridors. My blood danced through my veins. My chakra points closed and opened. My bones twisted and writhed in their place. My skin became nothing but a thin barrier stopping my bloods cruel tango. The color red filled my vision, and my eyes bolted closed. I tried to reach for my head, to block my ears from the endless echo of a dead man's scream; however, my bones spun like vines, crawling up a brick building. Bones snapped out of place. My wrists snapped, then my elbows, and finally my shoulders. After the intial pain, I felt only numbness. I would have sworn my arms were no longer connected to the rest of me.

I screamed again as my toes felt as if a thousand needles were attacking all at once. It spread from my toes to my legs, stopping only tentatively when it hit my chakra core, radiating to my neck, shoulders, and finishing at my head. My eardrums rang and I high pitched noise was all I could hear. Was I even yelling anymore? My body dropped to the floor, cold water splashing over my bloodied body. My eyes were still closed. I suddenly felt my hands tremmering. My body began to shiver, my teeth chattering.

"Get up, Kakashi."

"I can't, my bones-"

"Take my hand, Kakashi."

"My hands, they're not-"

"Trust me, Kakashi."

"...Alright."

"Open your eyes, Kakashi." Slowly, ever so slowly, my eyelids spread apart and my eyes adjusted to the light. It was no longer stained red or such a bright white that it blinded me. It was light in the sense that it was sunny. I could see clouds passing by above me. I looked up to the person who had spoken to me. There stood a goofy-faced, aged, Rin. Her huge smile looked fox-like, and I couldn't help but think of Naruto.

"Took you long enough, dobe." I looked beyond Rin's shoulder to see an older Obito, a small smirk on his face, his arms crossed.

"Yeah, Kakashi, we've been waiting forever for you!" Rin added, yanking on my still outstretched hand and pulling me to my feet. A light breeze blew through my hair, my clothes swirling and flowing freely. I look down to see that they are all white. Spotless. Too good for me.

"I'm sorry...I was...I..."

"Oh we know Kakashi," Rin said all matter-of-factly. "You had some loose ends to tie. We're cool with it." I looked back to see a crumpled pile of black ooze, writhing on the ground, smoking and sizzling, quickly diminishing.

"What...what is that?"

"That's all your pain, Kakashi. All of your saddness, your heart ache, and any negative feeling you've ever felt." Rin was smiling now. Her hand left mine, dropping to her side. Obito's hand quickly caught it, their hands lacing together. "You won't need it here."

"Where exactly is here?"

"Heaven, Olympis, a different dimension...who knows? But it's wonderful, Kakashi. I've never felt so..."

"Complete," Rin says, finishing his sentence and giggling. His eyes meet hers and he chuckles.

"We've been waiting for you. We wanted to cross the bridge together," Rin said, turning from Obito. I looked back, searching for Hana.

"What about my loved ones?"

"They'll come eventually, too. If you'd like, we can help them cross the bridge also. No one wants to do something all alone."

"And Hana? All of my memories-even the sad ones we shared?"

"Oh, they'll still be there," Rin says, her voice going from know-it-all to motherly and caring. "This place is meant so that you won't ever feel pain or saddness, but we all need memories. Our past experiences are what make us who we are. Without them, we're like a fish living without water. We wouldn't be a fish at all." I laughed, happiness swelling up in my chest. I immediately stopped, bringing a hand to my heart. It felt so light.

"You'll get used to it," Obito told me. I looked up at him, smiling, my mask crinking at the edges. Hana could always tell when I was smiling. Instead of that thought bringing a longing ache for her, it made my smile even bigger. Because someday...someday, we'd be in this place together. Forever? Who knows. What will it be like? Who knows. Knowing all the answers didn't seem so important anymore. We walked together, hand in hand.

"I missed you guys...so much," I said as we were crossing the bridge. They looked over at me and smiled.

"We missed you too. We were always watching, you know. And let me say that the Hana girl-she's a keeper. I like her," Rin said, her voice sounding childish and giddy.

"I know," I said, my heart not skipping a beat. We continued our way across the bridge. I looked down at my reflection and noticed that my mask was gone. All of me was exposed to the world. My emotions, my feelings, my thoughts...they were out there for anyone to see. I realized, however, that the fear of the ache from rejection wasn't there. It lay shriveled up, dispersing rapidly into dark clouds of smoke. It lay back in my memories. I took a deep breath, sweet, clean air filling my lungs.

"I love you, Hanayo-hime. I'll never stop loving you. I hope to see you soon."

* * *

...Six months later, Hana died of a broken heart.

She was burried beside Kakashi directly in front of the KIA Stone.

Kakashi's name was engraved alongside those of his teammates and though Hana's was not,

a small plate of stone above where she was buried, lay enscribed the words,

" Absense is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Mother.

Wife.

True Confidant.

Hanayo Nakamura.

AKA- 'Uindo'."


	27. The Sequel

**A/N:**

The sequel to **My Heart Yearns** is now up and can be found if you type in the name of this website with /s/8433845/1/ after it or by going to my list of stories.

It is called **Choosing My Heart**.

It will be following the same characters as last time minus Kakashi and Hana.

Instead, it will also be following Neji and an OC named Mika.

It will answer any questions that you may have after having read **My Heart Yearns**.


End file.
